fic; from broken to home (gale/johanna)
title: from broken to homefandom: the hunger games
rating: R
summary: they're both broken. his heart burnt by the girl on fire and her everything stomped on by the capitol.
They're both broken. His heart burnt by The Girl on Fire and her everything stomped on my the Capitol.
She's just punched a whole through the wall and yet her fist is aching less than her head. She simply can't wrap her mind around all this fucking fuckery going on. He's on his knees in front of the bed she's sitting on, bandaging her hand with surprisingly soft and careful motions, while she curses and complains loudly.
He's just finished, gives her hand a light squeeze, and is about to get up when she grabs him by the shoulders and presses her lips against his.
"Don't go," she tries to make it sound like a demand but it comes off as a helpless request and she hates herself for it.
He stares into her eyes for a long moment, like he thinks he's going to solve some great big mystery by doing so, until finally giving in. Gale kisses Johanna like she's his everything and she kisses him back as if he was hers. Truthfully they're playing tricks on reality, trying to fill that empty space in their hearts.
///
The first time he realizes they might be more than just fuck buddies they're in his kitchen. She's wearing nothing but his shirt and her short hair is standing up in all different directions. Gale has seen her look better and worse but that's not what matters. Johanna is sitting on a chair, her feet resting on the table and he knows all too well there's nothing he can say to make her move them.
Its not like this morning is different than any other. Sometimes she stays over for whatever reason (mostly because she's too drunk to walk in a straight line) and they've never made a big deal out of sharing a meal in the morning.
Gale is leaning back against the sink, his eyes following her every move as if she were a wild turkey he's hunting,
Johanna notices him starring. She raises her eyebrows challengingly and takes a bite off of her piece of toast.
"What are you looking at, Hawthorne?" she asks, mouth filled with food, and before he can stop himself the words are out.
"I love you"
She doesn't say anything at first. She just looks at him and then, finally ...
"Do you want some toast?"
///
They pretend that he's not said anything. Whenever he tries to talk about it she quickly shuts him down and they spend the rest of their time in an awkward, unpleasant silence.
It's early in the morning and they're in the forest. Gale still isn't used to these trees and animals in this District and it takes longer to get there but its better than nothing. He has no need to go hunting these days, with the money he makes and all the new improved food resources, but he doesn't think he could handle not doing it. Its still the best stress reliever there is.
Johanna has come along before today. She's hinted that she'd like to several times but Gale has never said yes. Even though these are not even the same grounds hunting belongs to him and Katniss. As much as he loves, yes loves, Johanna she's no Catnip and he doesn't want to try to replace that now vacant spot with anyone.
But today she was more forward about it. He wasn't expecting her to even be awake when he came downstairs but she was, fully dressed and awake, with a demand that she could come with him. He didn't feel he need to argue or explain why he'd rather she stay home so he let her.
It feels strange, having another body next to his while he follows the prey with his eyes. He's gotten back into the ritual of doing it alone and he's not sure he likes it. Not that Johanna is anything but a terrific hunter. She won those Games for a reason and it wasn't because she was loud.
The animal is in the shooting range, oblivious to the arrow he's pulling back. Gale closes one eye and shifts the weapon a little to the left.
"I love you too" Gale lets go of the arrow and it lands several feet off and the animal hurries out of sight. He drops the bow to the ground and spins around, expecting to find Johanna doubled over in laughter. When she sees the look on his face she rolls her eyes. "Aren't you going to sweep me off my feet and kiss me or something?" she teases.
Gale smiles and steps closer. Then he kisses her beneath the trees and it tastes better than any rabbit in whole god damn forest.
//
Home. Ever since District 12 was bombed to the ground Gale hasn't been sure of what that is.
District 13 was never his home. He might have lived there, slept there and fought with them but it was never his home. District 4 was nice and different but he didn't feel like he fit in. He didn't like being so close to the water all the time. He traveled to District 2 and lived there for some time and while he enjoyed his time there it always felt like he was on vacation, waiting to go back somewhere else. Gale even went to the Capitol on several occasions but that place only made him cringe.
So when Johanna asks him to take her home he's not sure where to go. At first he thinks she means District 7 but when he asks she looks horrified and makes him promise never to take her there. Then he understands she wants to see his home.
Gale hasn't set a foot in twelve since after the war. He's scared to, in all honesty. After it was rebuilt his family moved back but he's not even gone back to visit them. He can't. He just .... can't. Gale doesn't feel like explaining this to Johanna though. They know each other inside and out but there are some things he cannot even discuss with her. That doesn't stop her from asking.
"Is it because of Katniss?" the name doesn't make his heart ache the way it used to but he still feels a pang of - he's not quite sure what, actually - and his whole body tenses.
"No. I'll take you there" he ends up saying just so that she won't keep bugging him about it. He doesn't want to talk about Katniss. He can't, he won't.
///
It looks almost exactly like it used to. Gale isn't sure whether to cry or smile. Johanna takes his hand and it surprises him because she's usually never the first to initiate such a public display of affection. She tilts her head to the side slightly.
"So, where do we go?"
Gale smiles, and he can't remember the last time a smile felt this real on him before, because in that moment he realizes something.
He's home. They're home.