It's been 2 months.
This weekend was a difficult one for the entire family. No one really talked about it or said it until I said it but. This weekend marks 2 months since my baby girl died.
My heart screams out in agony every time I hear her name or I see her picture. I miss her so much. I have written 3 or four paragraphs on my mobile phone this weekend so I am not sure where to start.
On Friday the wife and the boy went with several of Delaney's BFFs and their parents to the beach. They all had a good time and did alot of boogie boarding. I went to work. That night we went to dinner with Delaney's oldest BFF and her family. They are amazing and wonderful people. As soon as we got there you could tell that their hearts are still broken just as ours are. We gave S the big pink box. that we gave to M a few weeks ago. Inside we gave her a locket with 3 pictures of Delaney and one of the two of them. There were also 2 webkinz, and a photo album of 50 or so pictures.
Giving away Delaney's things seems to make it even more final so as can be expected it is a difficult step. S is such an amazing and intelligent child she sounds wise beyond her years. She was so much like Delaney that I can totally understand how they were such close friends. I feel a true and genuine love for her and her family. I hope that our families stay close.
They say that time will heal. That is not true. I know that time will only allow us to get used to it. Right now as time passes and I get further away from the last smile, the last hug, and the last time I spent with my baby girl my heart just breaks open wider. Today I live for the wife and the boy.
I used to be afraid of death. I used to worry when I got a headache from talking on the cell phone too long. I used to worry when I got a pain in my chest. I used to be afraid of a car accident. Not anymore. I am not afraid of death. I don't think death could be worse than living with this loss.
My heart screams out in agony every time I hear her name or I see her picture. I miss her so much. I have written 3 or four paragraphs on my mobile phone this weekend so I am not sure where to start.
On Friday the wife and the boy went with several of Delaney's BFFs and their parents to the beach. They all had a good time and did alot of boogie boarding. I went to work. That night we went to dinner with Delaney's oldest BFF and her family. They are amazing and wonderful people. As soon as we got there you could tell that their hearts are still broken just as ours are. We gave S the big pink box. that we gave to M a few weeks ago. Inside we gave her a locket with 3 pictures of Delaney and one of the two of them. There were also 2 webkinz, and a photo album of 50 or so pictures.
Giving away Delaney's things seems to make it even more final so as can be expected it is a difficult step. S is such an amazing and intelligent child she sounds wise beyond her years. She was so much like Delaney that I can totally understand how they were such close friends. I feel a true and genuine love for her and her family. I hope that our families stay close.
They say that time will heal. That is not true. I know that time will only allow us to get used to it. Right now as time passes and I get further away from the last smile, the last hug, and the last time I spent with my baby girl my heart just breaks open wider. Today I live for the wife and the boy.
I used to be afraid of death. I used to worry when I got a headache from talking on the cell phone too long. I used to worry when I got a pain in my chest. I used to be afraid of a car accident. Not anymore. I am not afraid of death. I don't think death could be worse than living with this loss.