A Difficult Conversation

Jan 09, 2009 08:47

A friend sent me this letter in regard to something I posted on Facebook.

Jeff,

I read your note and my heart is breaking for you.

The reason I recommended the Weiss books is because the idea of "contracts" between souls is discussed. Of course this is a very simplistic way to explain it, but basically, the concept is that we are souls continually evolving through many lifetimes, and we are doing so together. Your loved ones are always with you, in different roles through different lifetimes. Before being born, you agree to help each other with the tasks and lessons that are essential to evolve to a higher level of consciousness. If this holds any meaning for you, perhaps it would help bridge the spiritual gap you are feeling.
When we get together, whenever that may be, remind me to tell you about my experience with communication between higher selves. It just cannot be written.

Jeff...if you could ask her something and get an answer, what would you ask?

Sending healing energy your way and holding hope for you now when it is too heavy for you to carry...

Love,
T
My response to her was:

Dear T,

I will pick up the book from Weiss today. It sounds like a good place to start.

I will be posting something on FB about signs and the life beyond this. It will show you where I am at in that regard.

Again you seem to ask the most difficult questions. If I could ask Delaney something and get an answer, what would I ask?

Well I would start with apologizing and telling her that I love her. I was on a trip when she died. I had tried to get home to be with the family that weekend but it was too expensive and I chose to stay in Maryland. When I talked to her on the phone less than an hour before she died I told her it would be all right and the doctors would make her feel better. She wanted me to come home and I told her I would see her very soon.

I feel like I lied to her and like I let her down. I feel like I never got to truly say good bye.

If I could ask her something I would ask for forgiveness. I would also ask her if she is OK, at peace, or happy. I just need to know that.

I have never spoken or written those words before this moment. This has been the most difficult writing I have done since I wrote her a letter for the funeral. If you haven't seen it I will attach the link below.

Thank you again for being so caring. It seems to me that you are being a far better counselor for me than either of our groups and our grief counselor.

Love,
Jeff

It took me over an hour to write that short letter. It also took half a box of tissue. I will post the letter to my Daughter next.

loss, delaney, grief, death, father, daughter

Previous post Next post
Up