Birthday
When I turned 30 my life was about to change. We were planning our first child, my Daughter. I was almost finished with college. Life was moving in the right direction.
Today as I turn 40 I cant help but think that life is no longer moving in the right direction. I can't help but think that the best years of my life are behind me.
I know that I am supposed to live. I am supposed to be there for my son. I know that I have friends and family. I also know that everything, every event, every joy will always have the memory of my daughter. There will always be an emptiness and a sadness that will be part of everything.
That feeling is hard to bare. It is hard to live with. It never allows joy to be complete or a laugh to be without guilt. I am sad and depressed.
Today as I turn 40 I cant help but think that life is no longer moving in the right direction. I can't help but think that the best years of my life are behind me.
I know that I am supposed to live. I am supposed to be there for my son. I know that I have friends and family. I also know that everything, every event, every joy will always have the memory of my daughter. There will always be an emptiness and a sadness that will be part of everything.
That feeling is hard to bare. It is hard to live with. It never allows joy to be complete or a laugh to be without guilt. I am sad and depressed.