How to Talk to Me (or any other Grieving Soul) Part 2
http://www.healingheart.net/articles/dont_should.html
'I Won't "Should" on Myself '
...by Jean Corley Lacy
SHOULD -- I will not SHOULD on myself today! I won't let others SHOULD on me today either!
Immediately after my daughter, Julie, died, I was bombarded on all sides with lots of SHOULD!
"You SHOULD keep a stiff upper lip and be strong for the rest of the family."
"You SHOULD not dwell on it."
"You SHOULD just accept it as God's will. He knows best. You SHOULD not cry about it."
"Julie left a 22 month-old daughter. You SHOULD live for Autumn."
'You have three other children.You SHOULD live for them."
"You SHOULD not keep her paintings and photographs out in plain sight as a constant reminder."
"Above all, you SHOULD keep busy. If you kept as busy as I do, you wouldn't have any trouble sleeping. You SHOULD work in the yard, work in the garden, work in the house, but keep busy!"
"You SHOULD go back to work."
"It was fate. It was supposed to happen. You SHOULD just accept her death and try to forget about it."
"There are many deaths everyday. You SHOULD think about all the people killed in wars. earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, airplane crashes and all kinds of natural disasters and acci-
dents."
"You SHOULD think about Rose Kennedy, who has lost three sons. and Anne Lindbcrg, whose baby son was kidnapped and murdered. They survived."
"You SHOULD not say such things, you SHOULD not even think them."