(no subject)
i wish i knew you. maybe that would help me understand why you do the things you do. maybe i wouldn't feel all used up. you've been killing me so slowly...i can't breathe. i don't know how i will ever regain my strength. i want to cry now...mourn my loss... but you have already drained me of all my tears. did they feed you? give you power? give you strength? i could never make you happy unless i wasn't truely yours. was i your back-up plan? old reliable? do you know what devotion is? look it up. what about fidelity? that's a big one, too. what about gratitude, understanding, compromise, committment, honesty...compassion...passion....?
i've done a lot of learning as of late, too. well, re-learning. rejection. that never hurts less. or defeat. worry. heartache. misery. pain. anger. humiliation. regret.
i'm not sure what either of us has lost here, emotionally. neither one of us has had a lover in quite a while. the resentment in me is screaming that you haven't felt an emotion in centuries. but that's being a little cruel. i'm not sure what i was thinking. i guess i really thought you could change, but that sounds so cliche. i am also madly in love with you. oh there's another word..."ludicrous". that's a good one. i gave you everything i had. and it's not like it wasn't enough for you, more like you just didn't want any of it. you took it anyway, but you didn't want it. didn't want to tell me that because i made it all better. i could give you what you needed. you just didn't know why you should reciprecate (good word).
so it's dead again and ugly and tattered and there's a planet sitting on my chest, splitting my ribs and crushing my lungs. there's a knot in my throat that i am too tired to release. and my heart weighs eighty tons. thanks for the good times, eh? cheers.
i've done a lot of learning as of late, too. well, re-learning. rejection. that never hurts less. or defeat. worry. heartache. misery. pain. anger. humiliation. regret.
i'm not sure what either of us has lost here, emotionally. neither one of us has had a lover in quite a while. the resentment in me is screaming that you haven't felt an emotion in centuries. but that's being a little cruel. i'm not sure what i was thinking. i guess i really thought you could change, but that sounds so cliche. i am also madly in love with you. oh there's another word..."ludicrous". that's a good one. i gave you everything i had. and it's not like it wasn't enough for you, more like you just didn't want any of it. you took it anyway, but you didn't want it. didn't want to tell me that because i made it all better. i could give you what you needed. you just didn't know why you should reciprecate (good word).
so it's dead again and ugly and tattered and there's a planet sitting on my chest, splitting my ribs and crushing my lungs. there's a knot in my throat that i am too tired to release. and my heart weighs eighty tons. thanks for the good times, eh? cheers.