Writing Exercise: Heroes, Mohinder Suresh,
It has become abundantly clear to me that I'm not going to write another word on my NaNoWriMo project this year. I don't know why, but everytime I sit down to write it something else comes out instead. So, I'm going back to daily writing exercises and as I have daily internet access at the moment, i'm going to try posting them every day as well.
Prompt: Write about losing yourself along the way.
Tool: Mohinder Suresh
Title: Losing Yourself and Being Found by Someone Else
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Matt/Mohinder
Warnings: None, really beyond the obvious slash warning. But really, if you don't like slash what are you doing in my journal.
Rating:
Summary:
Author's Notes: It was probably good for me to draw Mohinder today. It means I'm actually getting something for the pairing written instead of going over and over and over it in my head until nobody cares anymore. First attempt with these characters. I hope it works.
When he had left India, it had seemed simple. Discover who killed his father, see that his death was avenged. He'd wanted justice no more. He still hadn't found that, not really. Sylar was gone, but there had been no justice there, just cold necessity, and the rest of his life had become strangely complicated.
His father's work had been as revolutionary as he had once believed it would be. And now he was being pulled into that work. He was called on to complete it by his own need to prove himself, but also by the people all around him. Two, he cared a great deal about, Molly who was like the living embodiment of the sister he had never known, the sister he this time saved, and Matt, her hero. Then there were those he felt responsible for, Niki and Monica and the others. And he was called on to complete it by others, by Bennett and his endless quest to protect his daughter from the company he had once pledged loyalty to, and by Bob.
Somewhere along the way he'd lost that clear bright line that had always pointed in the right direction. There was a time when choices had been easy. Right and wrong were clear in his mind. Now, nothing was that simple. It was all complicated. The company was undeniably wrong with the way it tried to control those with abilities, and its willingness to kill or experiment on those that could not be easily controlled. But was Bennett really any better. Certainly his motives were purer, who could fault the man for wanting to protect his daughter. But a few days ago he killed a man that he had once called friend in that quest. Now, the Company had mutated the virus setting events in motion that could kill not only those with abilities, but everyone. He of course had a responsibility to prevent that, but they were asking him to take another man's child, to kill him if necessary, in the hopes that her blood could be used as an antidote. Where was right in this. So he made his choice by the only measure he had left, what would protect Molly. What would leave Matt and Molly in the most relative safety. He took the gun and he went to California in search of Noah Bennet.
When it was finished, he'd walked a fine line between a variety of evils. He still wasn't sure that he'd successfully negotiated them, wasn't sure if the guilt he was feeling was justified and even less sure of the lack of it. For the first time in his life, he wasn't sure who he was, what he should do, or why.
He pressed open the door to his apartment. It was dark, not surprising given the hour. It was dark, but he felt a lightening already. He expected Matt and Molly to be asleep. He was half right. He glanced into Molly's room as he walked, pleased to see her curled around a teddy bear without a bit of fear coming off of her. A noise though, alerted him that he was not the only one awake in the apartment. He tapped gently at the door to the second bedroom. He would of course, make do with the couch tonight. He'd always left the bed to Matt when he was away, and coming home in the middle of the night didn't give him the right to kick the man out of bed. But if Matt were still awake, if he were awake, Mohinder could use a cup of tea and maybe some reassurance that they were okay.
Matt opened the door, dressed in only his boxers and a t-shirt. He looked tired, but he clearly hadn't been sleeping. "You're home." A small smile flits across his features, but doesn't settle there.
Mohinder nods, wearily. "Come have a cup of tea with me." The words are a request, and not a very solid one at that.
Matt smiles that same slight here and gone smile and follows Mohinder down the hall to their small kitchen. Tea is made and poured into two heavy mugs. They sit in silence for a long while, before Matt speaks haltingly. "What happened out there?"
Mohinder shrugs and shakes his head. He doesn't want to, can't talk about it. "Nothing good." His voice is darker than he intended. He should stop there, leave it at that, but there's something in Matt's expression, something that makes him continue. "I don't know who I am anymore. What I'm doing."
"I know the feeling." Matt murmurs under his breath, but the words are just loud enough that Mohinder can hear them in the quiet of night. Out loud, he says. "Does it help that I know who you are?"
Mohinder looks up sharply. This he hadn't expected. His nod is small, just barely an acknowledgment. When he speaks, his voice cracks. "Who am I?"
This time, Matt's smile stays. It's not happy exactly, but soft and unsure with a little bit of pain around the edges. "You're a good man. You're a man who wants to do what's right, not only for the world, but for his family. You're a man who would do anything to protect a little girl who isn't even his own blood. And she'd do the same for you, because you're a man she can love." Matt has reached a hand across the table to rest ever so gently on Mohinder's. "A man I can love, though I don't deserve you."
Mohinder drew in a sharp breath and pushed back from the table. Matt drew away and looked like he would apologize, but Mohinder stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Matthew." He says so very soft, afraid that he might break whatever spell they've woven. With a hand on Matt's cheek, he turns the man's face up and brushes their lips together. "Thank you for showing me who I am." Because now he knows. He is defined by this family he has created for himself and the love that binds them all together. He knows that tomorrow in the light of day he will have to tell Matt what he has done, and Matt will offer his own confessions. It will be okay, because they're family. They will forgive and they will start over. For tonight, he just needs this quiet reassurance. "Come to bed." They've never shared the bed before, and they're both too tired to do more than curl around each other and fall asleep.
Prompt: Write about losing yourself along the way.
Tool: Mohinder Suresh
Title: Losing Yourself and Being Found by Someone Else
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Matt/Mohinder
Warnings: None, really beyond the obvious slash warning. But really, if you don't like slash what are you doing in my journal.
Rating:
Summary:
Author's Notes: It was probably good for me to draw Mohinder today. It means I'm actually getting something for the pairing written instead of going over and over and over it in my head until nobody cares anymore. First attempt with these characters. I hope it works.
When he had left India, it had seemed simple. Discover who killed his father, see that his death was avenged. He'd wanted justice no more. He still hadn't found that, not really. Sylar was gone, but there had been no justice there, just cold necessity, and the rest of his life had become strangely complicated.
His father's work had been as revolutionary as he had once believed it would be. And now he was being pulled into that work. He was called on to complete it by his own need to prove himself, but also by the people all around him. Two, he cared a great deal about, Molly who was like the living embodiment of the sister he had never known, the sister he this time saved, and Matt, her hero. Then there were those he felt responsible for, Niki and Monica and the others. And he was called on to complete it by others, by Bennett and his endless quest to protect his daughter from the company he had once pledged loyalty to, and by Bob.
Somewhere along the way he'd lost that clear bright line that had always pointed in the right direction. There was a time when choices had been easy. Right and wrong were clear in his mind. Now, nothing was that simple. It was all complicated. The company was undeniably wrong with the way it tried to control those with abilities, and its willingness to kill or experiment on those that could not be easily controlled. But was Bennett really any better. Certainly his motives were purer, who could fault the man for wanting to protect his daughter. But a few days ago he killed a man that he had once called friend in that quest. Now, the Company had mutated the virus setting events in motion that could kill not only those with abilities, but everyone. He of course had a responsibility to prevent that, but they were asking him to take another man's child, to kill him if necessary, in the hopes that her blood could be used as an antidote. Where was right in this. So he made his choice by the only measure he had left, what would protect Molly. What would leave Matt and Molly in the most relative safety. He took the gun and he went to California in search of Noah Bennet.
When it was finished, he'd walked a fine line between a variety of evils. He still wasn't sure that he'd successfully negotiated them, wasn't sure if the guilt he was feeling was justified and even less sure of the lack of it. For the first time in his life, he wasn't sure who he was, what he should do, or why.
He pressed open the door to his apartment. It was dark, not surprising given the hour. It was dark, but he felt a lightening already. He expected Matt and Molly to be asleep. He was half right. He glanced into Molly's room as he walked, pleased to see her curled around a teddy bear without a bit of fear coming off of her. A noise though, alerted him that he was not the only one awake in the apartment. He tapped gently at the door to the second bedroom. He would of course, make do with the couch tonight. He'd always left the bed to Matt when he was away, and coming home in the middle of the night didn't give him the right to kick the man out of bed. But if Matt were still awake, if he were awake, Mohinder could use a cup of tea and maybe some reassurance that they were okay.
Matt opened the door, dressed in only his boxers and a t-shirt. He looked tired, but he clearly hadn't been sleeping. "You're home." A small smile flits across his features, but doesn't settle there.
Mohinder nods, wearily. "Come have a cup of tea with me." The words are a request, and not a very solid one at that.
Matt smiles that same slight here and gone smile and follows Mohinder down the hall to their small kitchen. Tea is made and poured into two heavy mugs. They sit in silence for a long while, before Matt speaks haltingly. "What happened out there?"
Mohinder shrugs and shakes his head. He doesn't want to, can't talk about it. "Nothing good." His voice is darker than he intended. He should stop there, leave it at that, but there's something in Matt's expression, something that makes him continue. "I don't know who I am anymore. What I'm doing."
"I know the feeling." Matt murmurs under his breath, but the words are just loud enough that Mohinder can hear them in the quiet of night. Out loud, he says. "Does it help that I know who you are?"
Mohinder looks up sharply. This he hadn't expected. His nod is small, just barely an acknowledgment. When he speaks, his voice cracks. "Who am I?"
This time, Matt's smile stays. It's not happy exactly, but soft and unsure with a little bit of pain around the edges. "You're a good man. You're a man who wants to do what's right, not only for the world, but for his family. You're a man who would do anything to protect a little girl who isn't even his own blood. And she'd do the same for you, because you're a man she can love." Matt has reached a hand across the table to rest ever so gently on Mohinder's. "A man I can love, though I don't deserve you."
Mohinder drew in a sharp breath and pushed back from the table. Matt drew away and looked like he would apologize, but Mohinder stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Matthew." He says so very soft, afraid that he might break whatever spell they've woven. With a hand on Matt's cheek, he turns the man's face up and brushes their lips together. "Thank you for showing me who I am." Because now he knows. He is defined by this family he has created for himself and the love that binds them all together. He knows that tomorrow in the light of day he will have to tell Matt what he has done, and Matt will offer his own confessions. It will be okay, because they're family. They will forgive and they will start over. For tonight, he just needs this quiet reassurance. "Come to bed." They've never shared the bed before, and they're both too tired to do more than curl around each other and fall asleep.