Backwards.
It's been weeks since I thought to myself, "I can't believe he actually left me". I thought I had moved on finally. I thought that I wasn't going to let him ruin my life anymore. Then, one day last week, he popped into my head. I found his profile on Facebook, I opened a message window & wrote "Stupid, can we please be friends again?". I stared at it for a really long time. I imagined what his responses might have been. Even worse, what if he didn't even respond? That was more his style. I closed the window. I closed my laptop. I walked away.
Will this just go on forever? I wanted to have him as my friend but maybe I was selfish. Friendship was impossible for us. I truly loved him. I know he truly loved me. Our timing was never right. I wasn't going to give him anymore then friendship. He knew that. I would tell him how wonderful my life with Justin is. Justin is a man that only comes around once in a girls life. That's not fair to him. It's not fair for me to tell someone I love them but I would never be with them. I would never leave my life here for them. You have to sever a tie when it comes to that point. Cold turkey. Our relationship was poison. It was nothing but bad for both of us. It's still hard to not have him there. He was always there. I called him crying in high school when my best friend told me she hated me. He messaged me on my wedding day "congrats". I shouldn't of ever expected anything from him. I am a terrible person.
I need to move on if I want to grow up. Someone who weighs heavy on your heart is never easy to let go.
Will this just go on forever? I wanted to have him as my friend but maybe I was selfish. Friendship was impossible for us. I truly loved him. I know he truly loved me. Our timing was never right. I wasn't going to give him anymore then friendship. He knew that. I would tell him how wonderful my life with Justin is. Justin is a man that only comes around once in a girls life. That's not fair to him. It's not fair for me to tell someone I love them but I would never be with them. I would never leave my life here for them. You have to sever a tie when it comes to that point. Cold turkey. Our relationship was poison. It was nothing but bad for both of us. It's still hard to not have him there. He was always there. I called him crying in high school when my best friend told me she hated me. He messaged me on my wedding day "congrats". I shouldn't of ever expected anything from him. I am a terrible person.
I need to move on if I want to grow up. Someone who weighs heavy on your heart is never easy to let go.