my..life (it's been awhile)
Well Today was special, today Eric said to me the meanest thing anyone has ever said. So thankyou Eric for suceeding in making me feel like shit and thankyou self for making him tell me. We were driving home from school/ the mudhole and they were talking about abstinance till marrage, and jokingly I said, "oh yeah, thats me right there", then Eric said, "I could say something really fucked up right now but I'm not going to". So ofcourse I wanted to now what he was going to say so he made Julie and I promise not to get mad, then he said, "That isn't even half believeable coming out of your mouth considering all the guys you've been with". So I was just all well "I haven't slept with that many people". "bullshit, I can think of four guys off the top of my head that you've been with". So I was just like whatever, it doesn't matter that I haven't had sex in a year, but I'm a slut, your right. and Julie was all no your not..it just seemed lke she was only saying that to make me feel better..not because thats how she actually felt. I don't know what part hurts more, what Eric said or the fact that that is how my friends see me...as some slut who fucks everyone in sight. I came home from Tanyas house all happy and Julie automatically assumed that it was because I "got layed", I love her and I know she didn't mean it like that but..i just feel like thats all I am too everyone. I hate sex, I fucking hate it, and rightfully so. Everyone I have ever been with was full of shit, I hate people so fucking much. I NEVER want to have sex again! Never. So what happend to my little Heather? She was my best friend, and now..I think she hates me...She won't talk to me..What did I do wrong to make her hate me so badly? What did I do wrong? MEH I'm done