(no subject)
Guess what!
I ran into an old coworker at US Bank. For those not in the know, I used to work at US Bank about three years ago. Back in those days, I had a few interesting coworkers.
Yes, just a -few- interesting coworkers.
One of them, who was a new hire right before I left, was the typical sleazy car salesman type. But you see, he was a fresh one. Only 18 years old, and had an ironic sense of humor.
So, one day, right before I "quit", he had managed to break the branch record for most referrals. Three of them were really mine, but he claimed them anyways. Not like I really cared, since I was leaving the bank.
But the next day, he approached me first thing in the morning, super-giddy and super-happy. At 8:30 bloody am, and before my morning cup of coffee.
Ugh.
"Did you know I managed to break the referral record? Blah blah blah blah… The branch manager is sooooo proud of me! Blah blah blah blah… I think I did really great! Blah blah blah blah… I'm the greatest human being in existence! Blah blah blah blah… The branch manager is taking me out for lunch, isn't that great?! Blah blah -"
"Oooooh! I'm so proud of you Mike*! You really have outdone us all. I can already see your sparkling career unfold in front of you. But I will warn you, since you are so young. Just in case you destroy everything for yourself… Chris (our branch manager), likes smart young sale people. You know, because they can reach everyone and still look pretty."
Mike: *blank look*
Me: "Listen, I'll just cut out all the bullshit. Chris doesn't take just -anyone- out for lunch. He only takes special people. People worthy of his attentions. So, please, just listen to me seriously for a moment. Chris likes his fudge. And he hates screamers. And yelpers. Just take it like a man."
Mike: *currently scraping up the carpet due to his dislocated jaw*
---
*Mike: Fake name for this boy.
Another small note: this is entirely from memory, so I had to fill in a few blanks. Mike wouldn't talk to me though, and I did try to apologize to him later that afternoon. He simply told me that he didn't know whether to laugh his ass off or be utterly disgusted with me. My last day was the day after, and I didn't get another chance to talk to him.
But I did run into him today. He's doing good, and he's still jovial. He doesn't remember that incident above though. Perhaps it's a good thing.