Duck Story
[title] Duck Story
[author] dejectedmadness
[rating] PG-13 for cursing. G for content.
[disclaimer] Disclaim this, I made this shit up!
[pairing] Ducky/Duckette (no it doesn't get graphic! wtf man? what is WRONG with you?!)
[author's notes]Alright, this is a story I definitely wrote to make my sister feel better since she was depressed about Physics. I wrote the whole thing on msn off the cuff. It was just the most random story, as I am sure you will be able to tell. I was just making random shit up. It is times like this when I realize how awesome my imagination is sometimes. As if anyone could have just spun this story off the top of their heads. Come on.
Aside from some cursing at the beginning because I wasn't taking the story seriously at all, this is totally G rated. However, in the first few paragraphs I say "fuck" three times and "shit" once. Other than that, this is totally a kids' story.
Comment your faces off!!!
Once upon a time there was a duck, and this duck was fucking awesome. The duck had a magic power where if it quacked it could change rocks into popcorn. So as you can imagine, this duck was fucking POPULAR. He would just walk around and "Quack!" and then all his friends were like, "Mm popcorn!"
One day, the duck was sad. He didn’t feel much like quacking. Someone stepped on his foot and didn’t apologize. So he was like, "Shit... no quacking for me."
He waddled around a little while and moped, and all his friend ducks were like, “Hey, why don't you make us some popcorn?"
Ducky was like, "I cant do that. I cant quack today."
So those ducks were like, "Fuck you then, we aren't going to be your friends anymore,” and they left.
So he was DOUBLY sad then because he realized he didn’t have real friends, just friends who wanted to see him quack for popcorn.
He waddled around a little more until he came across another duck, and that duck was wading in the pond, and she looked super sad. He walked up to her and asked, "Why are you so sad?"
She said, "Haven’t you heard?"
"Heard about what?"
"Well," she said, "all my life I've been able to quack and make different foods appear, like apples and lollypops." She sniffled. "But today I woke up and I just couldn't quack."
"Why not?" asked the other duck, now interested because he had never heard of another duck who could quack and make food appear like he could.
"I realized as I quacked up a smoked salmon sandwich that there are so many ducks in this world who just don't have the good life I do. A lot of ducks can't even have crackers. Some ducks are so ugly that the old people wont give them crumbs. I feel bad for having such a good life when other ducks have nothing."
The duck realized she was right. They were two very lucky ducks. They would always be provided for. They would always have a home and food to eat and a pond to play in, but what about those ducks who had nothing?
"You know what?" the duck asked. "I never thought about it that way. There are so many unfortunate ducks out there. I wish there was some way to help them."
"Me too," the girl duck said.
"I think," said the boy duck, "that I might have a plan. Follow me."
The girl and the boy duck walked around the park for a while. He was looking this way and that for something, although the girl duck didn’t know what it could be, until finally they happened upon a penguin who looked very sad.
"Mr. Penguin," said the girl duck, "is everything alright?"
"Oh no," the penguin replied. "My life is over! Woe is me! Woe, woe!"
The ducks glanced at each other and then turned their attention back to the penguin. "Sir, what is wrong? Perhaps we can help!"
"Oh, I doubt it," the penguin wept morosely. "I doubt it, for I have looked everywhere today for just a scrap of fish. My little penguin kids haven’t had the taste of fish since we ran away from the North Pole where the evil walrus was trying to capture us in his bucket! I have failed them again! I am unfit to be a father!"
"Oh no!" the girl duck insisted. "You have done your best, I am sure that you are a fine father!"
Still the penguin wept until the ducks just couldn’t bear to witness his sadness any longer.
"Perhaps," the boy duck said, "we can help."
He looked at the girl duck, but she shook her head. "I don’t know, Ducky, I don’t know if I can quack today."
"Duckette, you really can. I know you have it in you. Just think of the poor little penguins. They haven't had a scrap of fish since the North Pole! They are less fortunate. We could help them!"
The girl duck smiled, then. "Yes," she said. "I think I can." She squinted her eyes, stood up on her toes, and opened her mouth wide and-
"QUACK!"
A whole bucket full of fish appeared before the ducks and penguin. The penguin was so delighted!
"Oh, thank you!" he cried. "Thank you for this wonderful gift! The world is a better place with good Samaritans like you around!" And with a squawk, he called to his children who were hiding behind a nearby bush. They thanked the ducks for their help and away they went with their bounty.
"See?" said the boy duck to the girl duck. "We are lucky to have these abilities! We have the power to help those less fortunate than us."
"You're right," said the girl duck. "We should use our powers for the good of animal-kind everywhere!"
With a smile, the boy and girl ducks embarked on their mission. Around and around the pond they went, offering their services to various animals in need until there was no animal left hungry or wanting.
Finally, they returned to the boy duck's home, in his corner of the pond, where all his former friends lived, and they found it empty.
"Where," he asked one remaining duck, "where have all my friends gone?"
The old miser duck to whom he spoke turned to Ducky and Duckette and wheezed his response, "Oh, ducky, they went to find you. They went to apologize. When they heard of all the good you were doing for the other animals in the pond, they knew they were selfish and greedy. They wanted to give something back!"
"Give something back? But where are they?" he asked.
"Over here!" came a voice. Ducky and Duckette followed the call a short distance around a bend and found...
"A popcorn kitchen for the homeless and hungry!" Duckette exclaimed.
And that was what it was!
“Wow," Ducky said. "You've really made something of yourselves!"
"We have tried to follow your doctrine, Ducky," they told him. "We want to be good ducks like you!"
"You have done a good job," he commended.
"We have tried," they continued, "but we are missing one thing!"
"What?"
"You of course!"
Ducky laughed. "Of course!"
And with one mighty "QUACK!" the kitchen was filled to the brim with popcorn. Buttered popcorn, cheesy popcorn, there was even caramel corn for all the hungry ducks in the pond!
From that day forth, Ducky and Duckette and all their duck friends could be found in the popcorn kitchen trying out new recipes for delicious and nutritious snack foods for all the hungry ducks of the pond.
The end.
[author] dejectedmadness
[rating] PG-13 for cursing. G for content.
[disclaimer] Disclaim this, I made this shit up!
[pairing] Ducky/Duckette (no it doesn't get graphic! wtf man? what is WRONG with you?!)
[author's notes]Alright, this is a story I definitely wrote to make my sister feel better since she was depressed about Physics. I wrote the whole thing on msn off the cuff. It was just the most random story, as I am sure you will be able to tell. I was just making random shit up. It is times like this when I realize how awesome my imagination is sometimes. As if anyone could have just spun this story off the top of their heads. Come on.
Aside from some cursing at the beginning because I wasn't taking the story seriously at all, this is totally G rated. However, in the first few paragraphs I say "fuck" three times and "shit" once. Other than that, this is totally a kids' story.
Comment your faces off!!!
Once upon a time there was a duck, and this duck was fucking awesome. The duck had a magic power where if it quacked it could change rocks into popcorn. So as you can imagine, this duck was fucking POPULAR. He would just walk around and "Quack!" and then all his friends were like, "Mm popcorn!"
One day, the duck was sad. He didn’t feel much like quacking. Someone stepped on his foot and didn’t apologize. So he was like, "Shit... no quacking for me."
He waddled around a little while and moped, and all his friend ducks were like, “Hey, why don't you make us some popcorn?"
Ducky was like, "I cant do that. I cant quack today."
So those ducks were like, "Fuck you then, we aren't going to be your friends anymore,” and they left.
So he was DOUBLY sad then because he realized he didn’t have real friends, just friends who wanted to see him quack for popcorn.
He waddled around a little more until he came across another duck, and that duck was wading in the pond, and she looked super sad. He walked up to her and asked, "Why are you so sad?"
She said, "Haven’t you heard?"
"Heard about what?"
"Well," she said, "all my life I've been able to quack and make different foods appear, like apples and lollypops." She sniffled. "But today I woke up and I just couldn't quack."
"Why not?" asked the other duck, now interested because he had never heard of another duck who could quack and make food appear like he could.
"I realized as I quacked up a smoked salmon sandwich that there are so many ducks in this world who just don't have the good life I do. A lot of ducks can't even have crackers. Some ducks are so ugly that the old people wont give them crumbs. I feel bad for having such a good life when other ducks have nothing."
The duck realized she was right. They were two very lucky ducks. They would always be provided for. They would always have a home and food to eat and a pond to play in, but what about those ducks who had nothing?
"You know what?" the duck asked. "I never thought about it that way. There are so many unfortunate ducks out there. I wish there was some way to help them."
"Me too," the girl duck said.
"I think," said the boy duck, "that I might have a plan. Follow me."
The girl and the boy duck walked around the park for a while. He was looking this way and that for something, although the girl duck didn’t know what it could be, until finally they happened upon a penguin who looked very sad.
"Mr. Penguin," said the girl duck, "is everything alright?"
"Oh no," the penguin replied. "My life is over! Woe is me! Woe, woe!"
The ducks glanced at each other and then turned their attention back to the penguin. "Sir, what is wrong? Perhaps we can help!"
"Oh, I doubt it," the penguin wept morosely. "I doubt it, for I have looked everywhere today for just a scrap of fish. My little penguin kids haven’t had the taste of fish since we ran away from the North Pole where the evil walrus was trying to capture us in his bucket! I have failed them again! I am unfit to be a father!"
"Oh no!" the girl duck insisted. "You have done your best, I am sure that you are a fine father!"
Still the penguin wept until the ducks just couldn’t bear to witness his sadness any longer.
"Perhaps," the boy duck said, "we can help."
He looked at the girl duck, but she shook her head. "I don’t know, Ducky, I don’t know if I can quack today."
"Duckette, you really can. I know you have it in you. Just think of the poor little penguins. They haven't had a scrap of fish since the North Pole! They are less fortunate. We could help them!"
The girl duck smiled, then. "Yes," she said. "I think I can." She squinted her eyes, stood up on her toes, and opened her mouth wide and-
"QUACK!"
A whole bucket full of fish appeared before the ducks and penguin. The penguin was so delighted!
"Oh, thank you!" he cried. "Thank you for this wonderful gift! The world is a better place with good Samaritans like you around!" And with a squawk, he called to his children who were hiding behind a nearby bush. They thanked the ducks for their help and away they went with their bounty.
"See?" said the boy duck to the girl duck. "We are lucky to have these abilities! We have the power to help those less fortunate than us."
"You're right," said the girl duck. "We should use our powers for the good of animal-kind everywhere!"
With a smile, the boy and girl ducks embarked on their mission. Around and around the pond they went, offering their services to various animals in need until there was no animal left hungry or wanting.
Finally, they returned to the boy duck's home, in his corner of the pond, where all his former friends lived, and they found it empty.
"Where," he asked one remaining duck, "where have all my friends gone?"
The old miser duck to whom he spoke turned to Ducky and Duckette and wheezed his response, "Oh, ducky, they went to find you. They went to apologize. When they heard of all the good you were doing for the other animals in the pond, they knew they were selfish and greedy. They wanted to give something back!"
"Give something back? But where are they?" he asked.
"Over here!" came a voice. Ducky and Duckette followed the call a short distance around a bend and found...
"A popcorn kitchen for the homeless and hungry!" Duckette exclaimed.
And that was what it was!
“Wow," Ducky said. "You've really made something of yourselves!"
"We have tried to follow your doctrine, Ducky," they told him. "We want to be good ducks like you!"
"You have done a good job," he commended.
"We have tried," they continued, "but we are missing one thing!"
"What?"
"You of course!"
Ducky laughed. "Of course!"
And with one mighty "QUACK!" the kitchen was filled to the brim with popcorn. Buttered popcorn, cheesy popcorn, there was even caramel corn for all the hungry ducks in the pond!
From that day forth, Ducky and Duckette and all their duck friends could be found in the popcorn kitchen trying out new recipes for delicious and nutritious snack foods for all the hungry ducks of the pond.
The end.