(no subject)
yoooou smell.
Yesterday wasn't the greatest day.
Jenna finally bought George. Which will be used..soon. I don't know where we're going to get stuff from her friend.
I am excited to see what it looks like.
Hopefully it will be like the other one.. I have only used one kind, it was crazy it was with Eric..blah.
Good times.
He was like the person who first got me on drugs. I don't know, I didn't do weed that much, so i'm guessing Jenna is going to try and get me back on it, weed = smelly.
Especially her sisters car. Ack, weed and vanilla. No good.
yeah, I don't know if I'm going to do it that much with her.
I don't know, she seems to be bothering me lately.
I remember when people got mad at me for saying i wanted to do weed to clear my head.
She tried getting me out yesterday to do some so she could clear her head. Now I don't see anyone bitching at her because of it.
Oh well I guess. Right?
By the way I think i'm going to give up on the whole trying thing. It doesn't seem to be working.
Me and Stef had a big conversation last night about all the shit that's happening in our lives right now. Theres a lot of shit.
I can't begin to know how Stef feels. Life is defintely shitty. I think that's it's pretty much shitty for everyone tho.
Devon and the Jenna thing.
Stef and the family/lonliness thing.
Germaine and the depression and not being able to get over boy.
Megan and all the things that are bothering her. *doesn't put name*
Landon and the Amy thing.
Alex and the *insert name here* problem.
Tony and the..well I don't know what's wrong with Tony right now.
Lynsey..is there ever anything wrong with Lynsey?
Ayden..and..Fenton issue.
Bahahaha. that sounded very gay..XD
Ah well I guess
Shit happens right?
"thats what i said when I had you".
Ugh.
So, my counciller Colleen, is so nice. I have a card with her number on it..she gave me a whole bunch of numbers incase I feel suicidal again.
When don't I feel suicidal?
Oh well I guess, right?
Last night..I went a little crazy.
I didn't sleep much. I spent most of the night playing with glass.
I learned the most amazing way to cut, it's beautiful, and it leaves the most beautiful marks. So much blood, and the pain, is numbing, it's amazing.
Why do such things intriguing and hard to stop.
I can't stop once i have started. My thigh is..well, like mutilated.
So many scars, my arm and stomach to, I don't really know what got into me last night.
I just couldn't stop.
Ah well, i'm good. Extrmely tired but good.
I eventually got bored and took pictures..so yeah
i'll post my wonderful chunks of glass.
they slit our throats
like we were flowers
and our milk has been
devoured
when you want it
it goes away too fast
times you hate it
always seems to last
just remember when you think
you're free
the crack inside your fucking heart is me
(thought, not spoken):
i wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day
i wish i could sleep
but i can't lay on my back
because there's a knife
for everyday that i've known you
when you want it
it goes away too fast
times you hate it
always seems to last
just remember when you think
you're free
the crack inside your fucking heart is me
(thought, not spoken):
i wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day
lie to me, cry to me, give to me
i would
lie with me, die with me, give to me
i would
keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair
i hope at least we die holding hands
for always.
I'm Going Marilyn Manson Crazy
She was the color of TV
her mouth curled under like a metal snake
although Holy Wood was sad
they'd remember this as Valentine's day
flies are waiting
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
slit our wrists and send us to heaven
the first flower after the flood
I saw that pregnant girl today
she didn't know that it was dead inside
even though it was alive
some of us are really born to die
flies are waiting
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
slit our wrists and send us to heaven
the first flower after the flood
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
STEF Slkfjsl;kfj;slfj!!!
I FIGURED IT OUT (that robin girl)
SHES A GIRL FROM KYMS LJ!!
I STILL DONT KNOW WHO SHE IS BUT SHES KYMS FRIEND!!
(kym is the girl i was supposed to hang out with when i went to winnipeg to hang out with Bill..but that didn't happen. In fact I still her owe her soup..More soup anyways.)..bahaha.