SHINee Courtroom
The mood in the SHINee dorm was… well, solemn to say the least.
The relatively sparse living room had been rearranged rather quickly, but as neatly as possible. Two couches were slanted diagonally in the shape of a V; on the right sat Kim Jonghyun, lead vocalist of SHINee, and to the left was Choi Minho, rapper of the group. In front of each couch was a chair, along with a table, the one on the right a little too low and looking strangely familiar. On the right was Kim Kibum, or Almighty Key, the diva of the group, who reclined gracefully in his chair, the most self-confident smirk on his lips. And on the left, in deep conversation with Minho, was Lee Taemin, maknae of the group, boyfriend of the rapper. Finally, sitting behind a large wooden desk and a swivel chair borrowed from the manager-hyung’s study, was Lee Jinki, leader of the group. Borrowed in the sense that it was taken, not necessarily with permission. But it would be returned, soon enough, and that’s all that mattered, right?
It is noteworthy that on this eventful day, all 5 boys wore blazers and dress shirts. Of course, one must add the very prominent inclusion of a Lady Gaga brooch pinned onto one particular blazer. No guesses for whose it was.
Also noteworthy was that waist downwards, they were clad in an array of sweatpants, pajama bottoms, and… Spongebob boxers.
But it was barely 7.30 on a Sunday morning, and allowances must be made.
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Jinki looked around the room.
“How do I--…” This earned him a quick glare from the blonde on the right. He saw someone on the left trying hard to catch his eye, mouthing something that seemed like…
“Erm…” Clearing his throat, he began again, “Court!”
Chairs scrapped against the floor and feet shuffled, as all 5 boys rose from their seats and bowed formally to one another.
“What do I do no-“ This earned the poor boy at the front of the room another sharp glare, and he winced, making a mental note to keep such queries within his head. Good thing he had the sense to take some notes before he went to sleep the night before. Now, the only question was, where was that all-important piece of paper? Fumbling, he tried his best to ignore the impatient grunt-snort coming from the same blonde. Ahhh, there it was!
“Before I begin, the court would like to enquire if parties have reached an amicable settlement.” He looked around at both sides of the room.
The two on the right gave slow, resolute, synchronized shakes of their heads. “I take that as a ‘No, to the N and O’, counsel?” This earned the judge his first appreciative smile of the morning. Not bad, considering it came from the diva.
Smiling, he turned to catch Taemin looking beseechingly at Minho, who frowned and mouthed an angry “NEVER! NO”. Looking rather crestfallen, Taemin turned back to face his leader. “No, Your Honour-hyung, my client would like to proceed with the matter,” came the meek reply, barely a squeak. Sighing a little, Jinki did his best to conceal the grin on his face, as he watched Minho’s grim, but satisfied smile.
“Alright.” Fidgeting a little, he tried his best to read from the untidy scrawl on the paper before him, without making it too obvious. “In that case, we shall now proceed with the case of Bling Bling v Flaming Charisma.”
Jinki took a fresh sheet of paper, picked a pen which pleased his eye, did a slight stretch, and wrote “BLING BLING V FLAMING CHARISMA [2011]” as neatly as he could, before underlining it.
“Counsel for the plaintiff, you may present your case. Also, I would… erm… require you to lay out the background facts for the matter. They seem a little… complicated to me.”
“Yes, Your Honour.”
Again, he concealed another smile as he watched Key rise from his seat, chest puffed out, Lady Gaga brooch hanging proudly, the desk before him barely reaching his knees when he straightened himself out. Speaking of which, that desk, or what tried to pass off as a desk, seemed really familiar to him…
“Jjong! Isn’t that the working table you gave Yoogeun during Hello Baby?”
All in the room turned to watch as Jonghyun fidgeted a little. “Well… he didn’t have a need for it anymore…” he tried to explain.
“Because you took the laptop Taemin gave him. To PLAY with it. And then you BROKE it. So maybe it’s not because Yoogeun doesn’t need it anymore, it’s just that what it was intended for is no longer his but LYING SOMEWHERE, BROKEN, UNDER YOUR BED.” Came the low, accusing retort from opposite Jonghyun’s end of the room.
“Yah! I wasn’t playing with it! I was just-… I was just having a look at it!”
“Sure, sure. Which is precisely why you came running into my room the next day telling me you now have the highest score on the number recognition game. Surrreeeee…” The room watched on, amused, as Minho drawled. The huge orbs he had for eyes made the fact that he rolled them even more mocking and sarcastic, and Jinki watched as Jonghyun flushed.
“Order!” Good thing he had a note for this somewhere. Jinki gave himself a mental pat on his back. A second later, and Dino-Jjong would have launched himself at the tall boy on the left hand corner of the room.
“Can we resume the matter at hand? Counsel, background facts please?”
“Yes, Your Honour.”
“Your Honour, I am Kim Kibum, counsel for the plaintiff, my client, Bling Bling Jonghyun.” Key introduced, barely looking away from Jinki, as he half-turned to present his client. “Lee Taemin is counsel for the defendant, Flaming Charisma Minho.” This time, the diva turned to flash an adoring smile at the maknae, as he introduced him. The umma always had a soft spot for the baby of the group.
“May it please the court, I shall now present the facts of this case in as simple a manner as possible.”
“Last Tuesday, that is the 26th of July, 2011, in Tokyo, Japan. The plaintiff and defendant were training in the gym with all present today, when a quarrel ensued. It is unclear as to who started the fight, due to conflicting testimonies. However, it has been established that my client was referred to as a midget.” At this point, Jinki watched as Jonghyun angrily puffed out his chest and suddenly straightened his back to sit ramrod straight.
“Also, it was established that, possibly in retaliation, my client then referred to the defendant, as a amphibian, more specifically… a frog.”
“The fight then escalated and the plaintiff was further accused of insole-abuse. This means my client has an unhealthy reliance on insoles, much like drug abuse. This definition has been agreed upon by counsel for the defendant and I in our discussions.” This was met with an appreciative nod and small smile from Taemin, while challenging looks were exchanged by the two behind both counsels.
“The defendant was then accused of competition-whore, in addition to being a hyung-whore.”
“Competition-whore? That’s new…” came the bemused interruption.
“Yes, Your Honour. In this case, my learned friend and I have determined that this accusation was made in relation to the defendant’s alleged aggressive, competitive nature, which makes it difficult for any to engage with him in a friendly manner in sports he is determined to excel in. This usually entails ALL forms of sports, Your Honour.”
Oh yes, Jinki could attest to that in his personal capacity.
“And so what are the plaintiff’s arguments, and subsequently, the damages sought?”
“Your Honour, it is submitted to this court that the plaintiff has been horribly defamed. Defamation refers to lowering the impression of one in the eyes of another, due to statements made by a third party. Your Honour, while we can enter into much debate as to what is the legal definition, it is submitted that there is a straightforward way in determining whether the abovementioned statement was justified, or defamatory.”
Bending, no actually, kneeling down, to pick a thin but carefully bound set of papers from what was previously Yoogeun’s desk, Key respectfully handed it over to the leader.
“Enclosed is a list of statistics detailing an average male’s height, which varies from country to country. Your Honour will find that the statistics for the two relevant countries, Korea and Japan, have been highlighted for your perusal. For the record, my client’s official height is 1.73metres.” This earned a snort from the other end of the room, and what sounded like a muffled “after insoles”.
To his credit, Key merely raised an eyebrow, leaving Taemin to shush his client, while he continued. “In Korea, it is listed that the average male’s height is 1.739. My client arguably meets this requirement. But more importantly, this defamatory statement took place in Tokyo, Japan. As can be seen, the average height in Japan is 1.715. Your Honour, my client far exceeds this height.” Again, another derisive snort.
“Finally Your Honour, it is crucial to note that there were other Japanese eyewitnesses present. Thus, the requirements for defamation are met out, as Bling Bling’s reputation in their eyes has been lowered, and he is presently associated with a midget by Japanese standards, regardless of how others in this room may feel with regards to the truth of the matter.” The last statement came across in a rather pointed manner.
“And the damages sought?”
“Your Honour, my client seeks damages for the defamatory statements uttered by the defendant. He will not seek damages for the pokes and shoves which occurred during the dispute.”
A weary sigh escaped Jinki’s lips as he heard soft grumbles coming from both ends of the room.
“May counsel for the defendant now put forth his case?”
Jinki feared this was going to be a long, long day…
“Your Honour-hyung, the defence does not rebut the points made by my learned friend and leaves the matter to the court’s discretion.”
… or maybe not.
Surprised, Jinki looked up at the innocent, smiling maknae, but not without silently thanking him.
“’In tu, wut chu duing? (Min2, what are you doing?)” Came the angry hiss from between the clenched teeth of a very flaming Charisma Minho.
The response was the most sympathetic, professional, lawyerly pat Taemin could muster.
Minho didn’t have to know about Key-umma’s promise of steak on tonight's dinner menu. Taemin liked to think of it as a sort of “counsel-to-counsel privilege”.
Joy, joy, joy! Jinki’s eyes danced happily, and he didn’t bother hiding the huge grin on his face. They had now reached his favourite part of this whole messy matter he had been dragged into.
“In that case, an order shall be made for costs to be paid to the court. Three boxes of chicken, one with sauce, one fried, and the last one fried in bite-size.”
The court… in essence, yours truly, Lee Jinki.
“I WANT TO APPEAL!” Sighing, Jinki knew this was expected. But thankfully, even if it went to appeal, it would be worth his time.
“An appeal may be made, but costs shall be doubled as per the rules of this court. Also, a 50% deposit will need to be made by the applicant for the appeal. In the event the appeal is successful, the defendant is to refund the deposit to the applicant and pay for the remaining 50% of costs.”
Jinki was always neutral. It didn’t matter to him who won or lost. There would always be chicken for him anyway.
“Deal.” Came the determined snarl. Jinki could always count on competitive Minho to appeal, which just meant more chicken for him! He felt his tummy growl in approval and anticipation.
Shuffling amongst the papers on his desk, Jinki searched for the one which had been quickly shoved at him at the start of the morning, with “DAMAGES” written at the top in capital letters with a bright pink highlighter. “As for damages in the present matter… in the matter of Bling Bling v Flaming Charisma, damages are awarded to the plaintiff and are to take the form of… erm…”, Jinki squinted, double-checking to make sure he hadn’t read wrongly, “the defendant being ‘slave of Shinee-dormland for the next month’?”
Seeing one look of absolute horror, protest and the satisfied smirk on Jonghyun’s face, Jinki knew he had to end this. Fast.
“Court dismissed!”
Cheers immediately erupted. Unfortunately, cheers could also be heard from the youngest of the group, who rejoiced that he was no longer the default cleaning-up person.
“Nice one, Jjong!” Now that court was dismissed, he didn’t have to be neutral anymore.
“Always.” Came the dismissive reply, accompanied by the most smug, herpy-derpy dino grin, which said, You know you can count on Bling Bling Jonghyun.
If looks could kill, the world would henceforth be deprived, or saved in some opinions, of four currently rejoicing boys, with a penchant for donning pastel skinnies.
{C}
web counter
{C}
-
flaming charisma and bling bling have too much testosterone between them. taemin loves key-umma's steaks. key-umma loves lady gaga. and jinki and chicken are 2gether 4ever. grass is green, sky is blue. the usual.
no idea where this came from. possibly because this might be the only way i can reconcile my present freedom with the impending black-and-white gloom and doom which will soon befall me. *sniff*
also, i like how the icon has minho's hands on jjong-derp-dino's neck. seemingly innocent to some, but yours truly thinks the camera captured the second before it strangles dino-boy.
and height stats are as real as wiki is. i know i know.. never cite wiki.
p.s: slight reference made to min1 and min2 in Sulk. also, i know im writing almost everyday. but i take what inspiration gives me. and i fear there'll be a drought soon. =(
The relatively sparse living room had been rearranged rather quickly, but as neatly as possible. Two couches were slanted diagonally in the shape of a V; on the right sat Kim Jonghyun, lead vocalist of SHINee, and to the left was Choi Minho, rapper of the group. In front of each couch was a chair, along with a table, the one on the right a little too low and looking strangely familiar. On the right was Kim Kibum, or Almighty Key, the diva of the group, who reclined gracefully in his chair, the most self-confident smirk on his lips. And on the left, in deep conversation with Minho, was Lee Taemin, maknae of the group, boyfriend of the rapper. Finally, sitting behind a large wooden desk and a swivel chair borrowed from the manager-hyung’s study, was Lee Jinki, leader of the group. Borrowed in the sense that it was taken, not necessarily with permission. But it would be returned, soon enough, and that’s all that mattered, right?
It is noteworthy that on this eventful day, all 5 boys wore blazers and dress shirts. Of course, one must add the very prominent inclusion of a Lady Gaga brooch pinned onto one particular blazer. No guesses for whose it was.
Also noteworthy was that waist downwards, they were clad in an array of sweatpants, pajama bottoms, and… Spongebob boxers.
But it was barely 7.30 on a Sunday morning, and allowances must be made.
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Jinki looked around the room.
“How do I--…” This earned him a quick glare from the blonde on the right. He saw someone on the left trying hard to catch his eye, mouthing something that seemed like…
“Erm…” Clearing his throat, he began again, “Court!”
Chairs scrapped against the floor and feet shuffled, as all 5 boys rose from their seats and bowed formally to one another.
“What do I do no-“ This earned the poor boy at the front of the room another sharp glare, and he winced, making a mental note to keep such queries within his head. Good thing he had the sense to take some notes before he went to sleep the night before. Now, the only question was, where was that all-important piece of paper? Fumbling, he tried his best to ignore the impatient grunt-snort coming from the same blonde. Ahhh, there it was!
“Before I begin, the court would like to enquire if parties have reached an amicable settlement.” He looked around at both sides of the room.
The two on the right gave slow, resolute, synchronized shakes of their heads. “I take that as a ‘No, to the N and O’, counsel?” This earned the judge his first appreciative smile of the morning. Not bad, considering it came from the diva.
Smiling, he turned to catch Taemin looking beseechingly at Minho, who frowned and mouthed an angry “NEVER! NO”. Looking rather crestfallen, Taemin turned back to face his leader. “No, Your Honour-hyung, my client would like to proceed with the matter,” came the meek reply, barely a squeak. Sighing a little, Jinki did his best to conceal the grin on his face, as he watched Minho’s grim, but satisfied smile.
“Alright.” Fidgeting a little, he tried his best to read from the untidy scrawl on the paper before him, without making it too obvious. “In that case, we shall now proceed with the case of Bling Bling v Flaming Charisma.”
Jinki took a fresh sheet of paper, picked a pen which pleased his eye, did a slight stretch, and wrote “BLING BLING V FLAMING CHARISMA [2011]” as neatly as he could, before underlining it.
“Counsel for the plaintiff, you may present your case. Also, I would… erm… require you to lay out the background facts for the matter. They seem a little… complicated to me.”
“Yes, Your Honour.”
Again, he concealed another smile as he watched Key rise from his seat, chest puffed out, Lady Gaga brooch hanging proudly, the desk before him barely reaching his knees when he straightened himself out. Speaking of which, that desk, or what tried to pass off as a desk, seemed really familiar to him…
“Jjong! Isn’t that the working table you gave Yoogeun during Hello Baby?”
All in the room turned to watch as Jonghyun fidgeted a little. “Well… he didn’t have a need for it anymore…” he tried to explain.
“Because you took the laptop Taemin gave him. To PLAY with it. And then you BROKE it. So maybe it’s not because Yoogeun doesn’t need it anymore, it’s just that what it was intended for is no longer his but LYING SOMEWHERE, BROKEN, UNDER YOUR BED.” Came the low, accusing retort from opposite Jonghyun’s end of the room.
“Yah! I wasn’t playing with it! I was just-… I was just having a look at it!”
“Sure, sure. Which is precisely why you came running into my room the next day telling me you now have the highest score on the number recognition game. Surrreeeee…” The room watched on, amused, as Minho drawled. The huge orbs he had for eyes made the fact that he rolled them even more mocking and sarcastic, and Jinki watched as Jonghyun flushed.
“Order!” Good thing he had a note for this somewhere. Jinki gave himself a mental pat on his back. A second later, and Dino-Jjong would have launched himself at the tall boy on the left hand corner of the room.
“Can we resume the matter at hand? Counsel, background facts please?”
“Yes, Your Honour.”
“Your Honour, I am Kim Kibum, counsel for the plaintiff, my client, Bling Bling Jonghyun.” Key introduced, barely looking away from Jinki, as he half-turned to present his client. “Lee Taemin is counsel for the defendant, Flaming Charisma Minho.” This time, the diva turned to flash an adoring smile at the maknae, as he introduced him. The umma always had a soft spot for the baby of the group.
“May it please the court, I shall now present the facts of this case in as simple a manner as possible.”
“Last Tuesday, that is the 26th of July, 2011, in Tokyo, Japan. The plaintiff and defendant were training in the gym with all present today, when a quarrel ensued. It is unclear as to who started the fight, due to conflicting testimonies. However, it has been established that my client was referred to as a midget.” At this point, Jinki watched as Jonghyun angrily puffed out his chest and suddenly straightened his back to sit ramrod straight.
“Also, it was established that, possibly in retaliation, my client then referred to the defendant, as a amphibian, more specifically… a frog.”
“The fight then escalated and the plaintiff was further accused of insole-abuse. This means my client has an unhealthy reliance on insoles, much like drug abuse. This definition has been agreed upon by counsel for the defendant and I in our discussions.” This was met with an appreciative nod and small smile from Taemin, while challenging looks were exchanged by the two behind both counsels.
“The defendant was then accused of competition-whore, in addition to being a hyung-whore.”
“Competition-whore? That’s new…” came the bemused interruption.
“Yes, Your Honour. In this case, my learned friend and I have determined that this accusation was made in relation to the defendant’s alleged aggressive, competitive nature, which makes it difficult for any to engage with him in a friendly manner in sports he is determined to excel in. This usually entails ALL forms of sports, Your Honour.”
Oh yes, Jinki could attest to that in his personal capacity.
“And so what are the plaintiff’s arguments, and subsequently, the damages sought?”
“Your Honour, it is submitted to this court that the plaintiff has been horribly defamed. Defamation refers to lowering the impression of one in the eyes of another, due to statements made by a third party. Your Honour, while we can enter into much debate as to what is the legal definition, it is submitted that there is a straightforward way in determining whether the abovementioned statement was justified, or defamatory.”
Bending, no actually, kneeling down, to pick a thin but carefully bound set of papers from what was previously Yoogeun’s desk, Key respectfully handed it over to the leader.
“Enclosed is a list of statistics detailing an average male’s height, which varies from country to country. Your Honour will find that the statistics for the two relevant countries, Korea and Japan, have been highlighted for your perusal. For the record, my client’s official height is 1.73metres.” This earned a snort from the other end of the room, and what sounded like a muffled “after insoles”.
To his credit, Key merely raised an eyebrow, leaving Taemin to shush his client, while he continued. “In Korea, it is listed that the average male’s height is 1.739. My client arguably meets this requirement. But more importantly, this defamatory statement took place in Tokyo, Japan. As can be seen, the average height in Japan is 1.715. Your Honour, my client far exceeds this height.” Again, another derisive snort.
“Finally Your Honour, it is crucial to note that there were other Japanese eyewitnesses present. Thus, the requirements for defamation are met out, as Bling Bling’s reputation in their eyes has been lowered, and he is presently associated with a midget by Japanese standards, regardless of how others in this room may feel with regards to the truth of the matter.” The last statement came across in a rather pointed manner.
“And the damages sought?”
“Your Honour, my client seeks damages for the defamatory statements uttered by the defendant. He will not seek damages for the pokes and shoves which occurred during the dispute.”
A weary sigh escaped Jinki’s lips as he heard soft grumbles coming from both ends of the room.
“May counsel for the defendant now put forth his case?”
Jinki feared this was going to be a long, long day…
“Your Honour-hyung, the defence does not rebut the points made by my learned friend and leaves the matter to the court’s discretion.”
… or maybe not.
Surprised, Jinki looked up at the innocent, smiling maknae, but not without silently thanking him.
“’In tu, wut chu duing? (Min2, what are you doing?)” Came the angry hiss from between the clenched teeth of a very flaming Charisma Minho.
The response was the most sympathetic, professional, lawyerly pat Taemin could muster.
Minho didn’t have to know about Key-umma’s promise of steak on tonight's dinner menu. Taemin liked to think of it as a sort of “counsel-to-counsel privilege”.
Joy, joy, joy! Jinki’s eyes danced happily, and he didn’t bother hiding the huge grin on his face. They had now reached his favourite part of this whole messy matter he had been dragged into.
“In that case, an order shall be made for costs to be paid to the court. Three boxes of chicken, one with sauce, one fried, and the last one fried in bite-size.”
The court… in essence, yours truly, Lee Jinki.
“I WANT TO APPEAL!” Sighing, Jinki knew this was expected. But thankfully, even if it went to appeal, it would be worth his time.
“An appeal may be made, but costs shall be doubled as per the rules of this court. Also, a 50% deposit will need to be made by the applicant for the appeal. In the event the appeal is successful, the defendant is to refund the deposit to the applicant and pay for the remaining 50% of costs.”
Jinki was always neutral. It didn’t matter to him who won or lost. There would always be chicken for him anyway.
“Deal.” Came the determined snarl. Jinki could always count on competitive Minho to appeal, which just meant more chicken for him! He felt his tummy growl in approval and anticipation.
Shuffling amongst the papers on his desk, Jinki searched for the one which had been quickly shoved at him at the start of the morning, with “DAMAGES” written at the top in capital letters with a bright pink highlighter. “As for damages in the present matter… in the matter of Bling Bling v Flaming Charisma, damages are awarded to the plaintiff and are to take the form of… erm…”, Jinki squinted, double-checking to make sure he hadn’t read wrongly, “the defendant being ‘slave of Shinee-dormland for the next month’?”
Seeing one look of absolute horror, protest and the satisfied smirk on Jonghyun’s face, Jinki knew he had to end this. Fast.
“Court dismissed!”
Cheers immediately erupted. Unfortunately, cheers could also be heard from the youngest of the group, who rejoiced that he was no longer the default cleaning-up person.
“Nice one, Jjong!” Now that court was dismissed, he didn’t have to be neutral anymore.
“Always.” Came the dismissive reply, accompanied by the most smug, herpy-derpy dino grin, which said, You know you can count on Bling Bling Jonghyun.
If looks could kill, the world would henceforth be deprived, or saved in some opinions, of four currently rejoicing boys, with a penchant for donning pastel skinnies.
{C}
web counter
{C}
-
flaming charisma and bling bling have too much testosterone between them. taemin loves key-umma's steaks. key-umma loves lady gaga. and jinki and chicken are 2gether 4ever. grass is green, sky is blue. the usual.
no idea where this came from. possibly because this might be the only way i can reconcile my present freedom with the impending black-and-white gloom and doom which will soon befall me. *sniff*
also, i like how the icon has minho's hands on jjong-derp-dino's neck. seemingly innocent to some, but yours truly thinks the camera captured the second before it strangles dino-boy.
and height stats are as real as wiki is. i know i know.. never cite wiki.
p.s: slight reference made to min1 and min2 in Sulk. also, i know im writing almost everyday. but i take what inspiration gives me. and i fear there'll be a drought soon. =(