If I Had A Pfau, I Would Name It Steve
teenagewaistband: If there's anything else I can do to make you feel better (e.g. bring you baked goods and mixtapes, for one) I'd be more than happy to
thecolorgreen208: awww, that would be amazing
thecolorgreen208: since you're more well-endowed than i am, in terms of love
teenagewaistband: The first time around I forgot to read the "in terms of love" part and got a little scared. However, you are WRONG, for Steve Pfau loves you thiiiiiis much.
thecolorgreen208: whoaaaa, SIX WHOLE i'S for ME????
teenagewaistband: No, that's just the Condensed Books version. It's actually 6000 i's, as published in the three-volume novel by Harper-Collins Press.
thecolorgreen208: oh, that one that won the Pulitzer this year?
thecolorgreen208: "Profound--a fresh new voice in a literary world that has fallen stagnant!" --Kirkus Reviews
teenagewaistband: Yeah, the New York Times bestseller!
thecolorgreen208: "Simple, clean writing. Recurring themes reinforced time and time again!" --Boston Globe
teenagewaistband: "This was written about a student of mine. It touched me deeply." - Rob Flaggert
thecolorgreen208: "Emily Gerstner will perform sexual favors for free for Rob Flaggert." --Emily Gerstner
teenagewaistband: "I saw a Gattica critique as written by the protagonist of this novel in my study." --Steven Pfau
thecolorgreen208: "Said Gattaca essay seen in study got said protagonist only a B minus." --Emily Gerstner
teenagewaistband: "Said Steven Pfau cannot spell Gattaca." --Steven Pfau
teenagewaistband: "Said Steven Pfau is slicing a piece of cake for Emily. If only he knew where her homeroom was." --Steven Pau
thecolorgreen208: "It has been rumored that Emily Gerstner, star of "Emily Gerstner's Life," is dating Homeroom 417, star of "First room in the art hallway when you go down the stairs from Social Studies."
teenagewaistband: "Studies published in National Topographic show that Steven Pfau, formerly seeing homeroom 619 and currently going steady with homeroom 609, plans on having an affair with room 417 in bringing Emily Gerstner his and David's homemade funfetti cake."
thecolorgreen208: "Funfetti cake has been shown to improve complexion and decrease risk of boy cancer in sad girls who are almost sixteen. Side effects include funfetti cake being Emily's guilty pleasure."
teenagewaistband: "Side effects may include Steve Pfau's day being made."
thecolorgreen208: "PS, say hi to David for Emily." --Emily
teenagewaistband: "P.S. will do for Emily" --Steve
thecolorgreen208: "Oh, and also, David + Steve are kind of attractive." --Emily
teenagewaistband: "Most definitely agreed re: David, but this Steve character is questionable." --Steve
teenagewaistband: "However, Steve's mother agrees with Emily on both accounts." --Steve
thecolorgreen208: "Yes, but with that new brown hair of his, Steve looks...classic! clean-cut! sophisticated!" --Emily
teenagewaistband: "Teehee! Cuteheart." --Steve
And then...
teenagewaistband: Don't worry, Emily, I'm saving my chastity belt for you, of course.
teenagewaistband: (that was awful, just kidding.....or was I?)
thecolorgreen208: no, you werent
teenagewaistband: Durr
thecolorgreen208: "Emily likes it when Steve Pfau does it right thurr, right thurr" --Chingy Gerstner
teenagewaistband: "Steve Pfau finds it anatomically impossible of himself to do it right thurr, right thurr." --P-Unit
thecolorgreen208: "Oh, right." --Awkward girl
teenagewaistband: "Don't worry, I'd go straight for Chingy Gerstner and Awkward Girl." --Steve Pfau
thecolorgreen208: "At the same time?" --Whoa, Now Surpassing Levels of Previously Achieved Awkardness
teenagewaistband: "Of COURSE." --Steve Pfau
thecolorgreen208: awww, that would be amazing
thecolorgreen208: since you're more well-endowed than i am, in terms of love
teenagewaistband: The first time around I forgot to read the "in terms of love" part and got a little scared. However, you are WRONG, for Steve Pfau loves you thiiiiiis much.
thecolorgreen208: whoaaaa, SIX WHOLE i'S for ME????
teenagewaistband: No, that's just the Condensed Books version. It's actually 6000 i's, as published in the three-volume novel by Harper-Collins Press.
thecolorgreen208: oh, that one that won the Pulitzer this year?
thecolorgreen208: "Profound--a fresh new voice in a literary world that has fallen stagnant!" --Kirkus Reviews
teenagewaistband: Yeah, the New York Times bestseller!
thecolorgreen208: "Simple, clean writing. Recurring themes reinforced time and time again!" --Boston Globe
teenagewaistband: "This was written about a student of mine. It touched me deeply." - Rob Flaggert
thecolorgreen208: "Emily Gerstner will perform sexual favors for free for Rob Flaggert." --Emily Gerstner
teenagewaistband: "I saw a Gattica critique as written by the protagonist of this novel in my study." --Steven Pfau
thecolorgreen208: "Said Gattaca essay seen in study got said protagonist only a B minus." --Emily Gerstner
teenagewaistband: "Said Steven Pfau cannot spell Gattaca." --Steven Pfau
teenagewaistband: "Said Steven Pfau is slicing a piece of cake for Emily. If only he knew where her homeroom was." --Steven Pau
thecolorgreen208: "It has been rumored that Emily Gerstner, star of "Emily Gerstner's Life," is dating Homeroom 417, star of "First room in the art hallway when you go down the stairs from Social Studies."
teenagewaistband: "Studies published in National Topographic show that Steven Pfau, formerly seeing homeroom 619 and currently going steady with homeroom 609, plans on having an affair with room 417 in bringing Emily Gerstner his and David's homemade funfetti cake."
thecolorgreen208: "Funfetti cake has been shown to improve complexion and decrease risk of boy cancer in sad girls who are almost sixteen. Side effects include funfetti cake being Emily's guilty pleasure."
teenagewaistband: "Side effects may include Steve Pfau's day being made."
thecolorgreen208: "PS, say hi to David for Emily." --Emily
teenagewaistband: "P.S. will do for Emily" --Steve
thecolorgreen208: "Oh, and also, David + Steve are kind of attractive." --Emily
teenagewaistband: "Most definitely agreed re: David, but this Steve character is questionable." --Steve
teenagewaistband: "However, Steve's mother agrees with Emily on both accounts." --Steve
thecolorgreen208: "Yes, but with that new brown hair of his, Steve looks...classic! clean-cut! sophisticated!" --Emily
teenagewaistband: "Teehee! Cuteheart." --Steve
And then...
teenagewaistband: Don't worry, Emily, I'm saving my chastity belt for you, of course.
teenagewaistband: (that was awful, just kidding.....or was I?)
thecolorgreen208: no, you werent
teenagewaistband: Durr
thecolorgreen208: "Emily likes it when Steve Pfau does it right thurr, right thurr" --Chingy Gerstner
teenagewaistband: "Steve Pfau finds it anatomically impossible of himself to do it right thurr, right thurr." --P-Unit
thecolorgreen208: "Oh, right." --Awkward girl
teenagewaistband: "Don't worry, I'd go straight for Chingy Gerstner and Awkward Girl." --Steve Pfau
thecolorgreen208: "At the same time?" --Whoa, Now Surpassing Levels of Previously Achieved Awkardness
teenagewaistband: "Of COURSE." --Steve Pfau