not quite what i was going to post....
Today stank. Really stank. A horrid day that should have been slept through. Almost got T-boned on the way to work. It's amazing....it rains two thirds of the year in Seattle and still very few peple have figured out how to drive in the rain. The bar fridge was down when i got in, an extra hour to set up, cool beer and wine with ice biuckets and chuck things out that have sat at 68 degrees for too long, followed by an hour or so after close to clean, bleach and restock. So i finally get home to my apartment which to add inslult to injuryt decided to flood. I was going to post a lovely excerpt from thre journal of l_stboy and my travels, but insteasd decided that..... after ripping up carpets, moving furniture, and sulking moving the bookcases that I had just reorganised....., the only reasonable course of action was to open up mthe bottle of 1986 tempranillo I had lying on the floor. It's label damaged by the damp carpet anfd heaven fordid I should leave a wounded soldier on the floor. So like a good trooper it's going down weell. Although I'm not syre that troopers go down at all.
Anyway I should like to thank Tim and Sharon for the kind invitation at Thanksgiving. It was a blast, the company was good, the food magnificent and the hot tub warm. I have learned a few things about travelling with an excessive amount of wine.
1. Make sure you are travelling with an inordinantly huge amount of wine. About 9L per person makes it seem horrendous.
2. Pack very little clothing. Security will not know what to make of someone packing a bag ewith 5L of wine, a Playstation, several games, 2 pairs of underwear, and carrying a 4L bottle of wine in the right hand.
3. When asked what all the wine is for. Afix the nearest TSA twit with a firm, but not too overbearing stare, and confidently exclaim that it's for personal consumption.
4. None of these idiots, no mattter how trained or how many classses thayv'e taken or films they've seen will ever give Mister Johnson a wiggle in the pat down. Remember to hide all ilicit items, (including but not limited to....small tweezers, plastic explosive, nuclear warheads, and toenail clippers.) in the groin area.
5. Try hard toi resist the temptation to scream :"JIHAD!" or" Allah Akbar!" loudly at the top of voice.
6. Don't giggle.
Following all of these rules will result in the normal disorganised, boring and slow trip through security. Disobeying rules 5 or 6 will result in a longer, but much more entertianing evening filled with questions, uniforms, badges, and a lenghty prostate exam. What more could one hope for on a Friday night?
Anyway enough drunken silllyness. The keyboard keeps moving anf ny habds are not fast enough to catch up. I must load ip a nice incredibly violent computer game and try not to park cars in the water.,
The only advice to offer from the book of "You know you're going to hell if......." is
If you are making out and can taste Watermelon bubblicious you know you are going to hell.
Anyway I should like to thank Tim and Sharon for the kind invitation at Thanksgiving. It was a blast, the company was good, the food magnificent and the hot tub warm. I have learned a few things about travelling with an excessive amount of wine.
1. Make sure you are travelling with an inordinantly huge amount of wine. About 9L per person makes it seem horrendous.
2. Pack very little clothing. Security will not know what to make of someone packing a bag ewith 5L of wine, a Playstation, several games, 2 pairs of underwear, and carrying a 4L bottle of wine in the right hand.
3. When asked what all the wine is for. Afix the nearest TSA twit with a firm, but not too overbearing stare, and confidently exclaim that it's for personal consumption.
4. None of these idiots, no mattter how trained or how many classses thayv'e taken or films they've seen will ever give Mister Johnson a wiggle in the pat down. Remember to hide all ilicit items, (including but not limited to....small tweezers, plastic explosive, nuclear warheads, and toenail clippers.) in the groin area.
5. Try hard toi resist the temptation to scream :"JIHAD!" or" Allah Akbar!" loudly at the top of voice.
6. Don't giggle.
Following all of these rules will result in the normal disorganised, boring and slow trip through security. Disobeying rules 5 or 6 will result in a longer, but much more entertianing evening filled with questions, uniforms, badges, and a lenghty prostate exam. What more could one hope for on a Friday night?
Anyway enough drunken silllyness. The keyboard keeps moving anf ny habds are not fast enough to catch up. I must load ip a nice incredibly violent computer game and try not to park cars in the water.,
The only advice to offer from the book of "You know you're going to hell if......." is
If you are making out and can taste Watermelon bubblicious you know you are going to hell.