Bad Habit

[moros_dot_com]

Moros returned home from Styx’s abode, very very annoyed with himself. Why has he so stupid? No, really? He’d purposely forgotten what he did to Phobos because of the damage it had caused. He’d even watched it from Styx’s point of view. He’d felt her pain and heartache and anguish and why? So that he could fuck up again

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[moirae_dot_com]

"Rest assured, brother, that I am well aware of Anteros' behavior - and it is being addressed. However, Styx is capable of taking care of herself, and your charge into the fray to break bones and take names was both unnecessary and ill-advised."

She paused.

"As far as Phobos is concerned, I can assure you that you should consider finding a better hold on your temper, or refraining from interacting with Olympians entirely. I have seen you endure far worse than what occurred there without a blink."

Another pause. Lachesis looked at her brother pointedly now.

"You cannot protect her from the Olympians if she herself is choosing to entangle herself with them."

Somehow, this statement seemed more loaded than it might otherwise have been.

"Beyond that, of course he wishes to marry me. His desire is no more selfish than mine to marry him. The negotiation of his understanding of my selves is a delicate enough process without you shoving it down his throat."

The Mother had settled slightly. Her temper was still simmering, but simmering it was, rather than boiling. She was taking in her brother's words and considering them.

[moros_dot_com]

"Styx would have disagreed."

The name rolled off of his tongue and immediately a feeling of pins sticking into his gut followed it. He really didn't want to talk about Styx right now. Not...right now. Not until he was able to push aside his last visit to her.

"She can take care of herself. I know. But she swore not to hurt him. And Anteros took advantage of that."

The pins became longer and sharper and buried themselves into him like corkscrews, twisting through the insides of his body.

"I cannot protect her if she chooses to mix with them. You are right. But if they touch her. Manhandle her. Like your beloved did when she has agreed to be civil. I am her brother. And I will intervene."

The sharp points grew thicker and hotter and practically drilled through him. No more talk about...Hate. No more.

Moros turned his head in time to catch sight of his burnmese python coil itself around the dumb, defenceless bird, crushing its inners slowly into a digestible pulp. It made him wonder if Anteros liked snakes, or whether Khesis' love was a bit of a chicken when it came to reptilian predators.

"Perhaps he needs it to be shoved down his throat. It may work better than trying to ram it into his head"

[moirae_dot_com]

"Styx's vow did not preclude her taking evasive action. The woman is a river. By nature, she cannot be contained for long."

Lachesis eyes narrowed once more. "He had no call to put his hands on her. On that, we agree. However, Styx is far from defenseless. And you should consider that perhaps it was not your role as a brother that spurred you to action, but rather something else. Even beyond that, you have never liked Anteros, and I'm sure it was no great tragedy in your mind to do him harm."

At his last words, Khesis' voice became deadly serious.

"I love you, Moros. You are my brother, and there can be no force that can put us at too great a distance - our very natures are bound together. And I can assure you, I do not approve of violence.

"But you -will- leave my affairs to me, just as I leave yours to you - if not out of affection or respect for me, then for the knowledge of the fact that if you don't, I will be deeply, deeply displeased."

There was no need for a threat. Lachesis was gravely serious, and rarely had her voice ever reflected it so clearly.

[moros_dot_com]

With folded arms, he stared at the Mother, saying no more about Styx than he already had. Lachesis' words had ever so gently coated the underside of his skin with acid, partly because he knew it was true. He would have intervened if she were just a sister, but he had intervened because she meant more than that.

Clearly what he felt for her wasn't worth much if they could cause him to break her like he had done. Perhaps he should have forgotten it along with what he did to Phobos.

Moros sighed quietly.

"Yes. In future I shall do that. But only because you are my sister and I mean you no harm. I cannot do it out of respect for him. Not even if he is joined to you. Blood as they say. Is thicker than water."

He looked at the wall for a long time, before catching sight of his snake unhinging her jaws and gulping down the chicken whole. Then, although it was not at all like him to ask others opinions on himself, he looked again at his sister.

"What do you suppose is the reason that I am so...out of character?"

[moirae_dot_com]

As Moros acknowledged her statement and acquiesced to at least attempting to maintain some level of peace in the future, the part of Lachesis that was with him relaxed her posture somewhat. Folding her own arms and leaning against the wall of his abode and joined her brother in watching the snake do its work.

His question did not catch her off guard, and when he asked it, as she looked on at the serpent finishing its meal, it was as familiar as her own voice. That voice was rather quiet, subdued, and quite thoughtful as it answered.

"I suppose the reason is this love issue," she said with a slight, bemused smile. "It is no easy task to deal in Fate, Dark or no. We are accustomed to control, you and I - to poise in thought, action, and feeling. In this way, you are more like me than Klotho, who has no care for control, and follows her heart where it leads her. In this way, I am more like you than Atropos, who has made an art of detaching herself from sentiment in its messier, more personal senses."

Lachesis turned to look at her brother, her smile soft, and a little wry.

"She asked me if it were possible, you know," the Measurer said of Hate. "To love Fate, in any of its forms."

[moros_dot_com]

He clacked the vertical metal bar running through his tongue against the back of his teeth, listening to what Lachesis had to say. She was right. Though Lachesis was the Fate he saw the least of, she was also the most like him, personally. Atropos was cold, cynical and dealt in endings, which were all things that she and Doom had in common. Clotho really didn't have much in common with him, which, in an odd way, drew them together. But Lachesis...Lachesis knew about control. Moros liked control, so yes, she was right.

It made him wonder whether his visits to her were so sparse because of this.

"It has always been there. St...She is not a fad. I cannot see why it should compromise my behaviour at this point."

Doom cracked his knuckles and watched his serpent carefully as it slithered across the floor, its belly extended.

"I know. She shared her thoughts with me. Since I appear to have forgotten mine."

Moros didn't like the idea that what he felt for Styx was causing him to act differently. He didn't like it, because he knew what it meant.

It meant that Styx and her principles had been right all along.

"If...she is the motive. Then it would have been detrimental to progress any further. Here is where I should stay"

[moirae_dot_com]

Lachesis nodded seriously, taking Moros' words carefully into account before responding.

"I think there are different reasons for why your behavior would change. Circumstances have changed. It was one thing when love was forbidden by law. Though it may not have made a real difference, it was something to tell yourself. When it became clear that marriage was no true restraint, and that you were not the beneficiary of love moving outside of it... that may have contributed. Also, you have no respect for Olympians, so perhaps it's easier to act against them, because they seem less deserving of restraint on your part." Lachesis shrugged slightly, not carelessly, but in an expression of not knowing.

"You know our natures - I know what has happened. I may be able to predict what will happen. But I cannot read minds nor hearts. Something has shifted. As you met with Than, Klotho, Atropos, and Styx, it shifted much more dramatically. You know what that is better than I."

At his last statement, she shook her head.

"You are already changed by her, brother. You are already changed by what you feel, and what has changed between the two of you."

The Measurer gestured to his home.

"I stayed in my temple for eons, Moros. And there I knew the lull of sameness. The ache never changes in stasis - you can be certain, at least, that it won't grow."

She shook her head again, and said softly,

"But you can be just as certain that it won't shrink, either. The pain of living in solitude, removed from life, without what you want so badly, is not right, my brother."

Smiling slightly, she said, mischievously provoking his anti-Olympian pride,

"Besides... do you truly want to give love that much power over you?"

[moros_dot_com]

Playing with his lip ring, he thought about it. Lachesis’ points were valid, but what interested him more was the shifts that she talked about. Why hadn’t he thought about that before? Things had changed and he his behaviour had changed because of it.

Moros didn’t like change. He was stubborn and controlling and change challenged that. The idea of him changing was not one that he liked. He was Doom, after all. Doom was consistent, never changing...and yet he was? Hmm.

Moros leaned back against the counter and folded his arms again, considering what Lachesis had just said. He hadn’t finished emotional beating himself up over what had happened with Styx, but his sister had made a good argument and it aroused his hatred and his pride simultaneously. Moros wasn’t one to be pushed around, especially not by a cold-blooded and ruthless thing such as Love. No, Lachesis was definitely right there. Why should he hide away for her benefit?

“I see your point”

But things were not so simple.

“However. It is not my decision. That depends on Styx. And she still has much to think about. I may have no choice but to remain as I always have.”

“Besides. I think I have already pushed myself out of favour”

[moirae_dot_com]

"Well, of course. I wouldn't suggest that you try to commandeer Styx's heart. Maneuvers like that don't seem to work often at all."

There was a but in Lachesis' voice.

"What I -would- suggest, however, is that you not hide, that you live, that you spend time in the world, doing the things that you enjoy. Of which I happen to know there are at least three."

Another slight smile, which sobered with the next question.

"And how have you pushed yourself out of favor?"

Lachesis was already aware of their mother's visit with Styx... and of course, the kiss. But out of favor? It seemed unlikely...

[moros_dot_com]

Moros internally winced at her advice. Go...out. Socialise. Do things he enjoyed. The words were like harsh screams in his ears...or a really annoying girly laugh that made you just want to reach over and slap the bitch responsible for it.

Outside?! Enjoy the world?!

It wasn't like he didn't have hobbies, he did. He had many interests to keep him occupied when he was free. many. And that was fine. But to actually go out and involve himself with others, or even worse, others who shared his interests?! It didn't sit well with him.

"I can make no promises that I will do that. It would involve...being sociable"

Brushing a hand though his hair, Doom huffed.

"I upset her"

He left it at that. Talking about Styx was not fun. He'd done something so incredibly stupid...no. Not talking about it. Not thinking about it. Not even going to pick her up through his connection to Fate.

He'd blocked her essence out almost completely. It was probably the best thing.

[moirae_dot_com]

Lachesis shook her head.

"Clearly you upset her. I'm aware of what happened - I'm not aware of what either of you are thinking."

She thought for a moment, furrowing her brow.

"Best that I not get involved any further, other than to say that you don't have to be sociable to get out in the world. You can do things outside of here that might not actually make you want to tear your eyelids off and sew them back on as an alternative activity. You know, maybe seek out people who won't make you want to vomit."

[moros_dot_com]

She left the issue of what had happened with Styx there, and he was thankful.

Moros smirked at her suggestion. Ripping his eyelids off? Hmm. He'd never tried that one before. It sounded interesting, especially when he thought of trying to sew them back on, preferably with a blunt needle, just to make it more painful. But what would he cut them off with? Well, that was a difficult one...

"Seeking out those who would not make me vomit is an easy task. Seeking out people I would...get on with is a far more impossible task"

With a glance down to check his fingernail polish, Moros looked up and caught his sister's gaze. Oh. It was that face. Damn.

"Fine. I will...attempt it. But if I find nobody of suitable interest. Then it rests there. But do not push me on the matter. Nagging appears to be our sister brother Death's preoccupation. And I would hate to see you put him out of a job"

[moirae_dot_com]

Lachesis half-grinned at her brother.

"Far be it from me to nag about being a recluse. Though really, Than just wants what's best for you."

Lachesis was now grinning fully, certain she could predict how Moros would respond to that opinion. She sobered slightly to say,

"I can only tell you what my choices have been, what I think is best. It may not be the same with you... but it may well be."

[moros_dot_com]

"I am aware of that. But if that is what he wants for me. Then perhaps he should stop bringing it up. It could be detrimental to his health"

Doom smirked and thought of the time that he'd made Death cry. It was one of those golden moments; the then child Death, muddied and bleeding, running away as fast as he could, bawling his eyes out and screaming for their mother as loud as he could. Oh it was cruel, but at least it had taught his brother a good deal about his temperament.

Moros made a single nod at what Lachesis said.

"Yes, sister. I will consider what you have told me and whether I am better to follow your advice or not"