(no subject)
So,
I had the weirdest night ever last night...and the funny thing is, a couple days ago, last night would've been SO much fun. Don't get me wrong, it was kinda fun, but I was in such an awkward position that I couldn't relax. Good thing I firmly believe in "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". It's funny 'cause everyone keeps making the assumption that I'm angry or mad or revengeful, I'm not...I'm just kinda hurt that I lost a friend over this. The worst part is now I'm wondering if I really ever had that friend. And I don't know which is worse...to lose a friend you thought was close, or to realize a close friend isn't really one at all. I guess it's the same thing. Either way, I know it's partly my fault...I trust way to quickly and easily. Well, what matters is she's happy. I'd rather be the one that ends up hurt than for me to know I've hurt someone (isn't that the story of my life?). All I know is, I hope this break is good, it's been a long time since I've been happy, and I kinda forgot what it feels like. OH GOSH! And last night I found out that a very controversial girl that went to my high school used to go to Wesleyan...it makes me look at my time here TOTALLY differently...what's worse is I found out that now she's a transvestite...OMG...makes me wonder what I'm doing here...if she had even a chance of fitting in here, and now I love it, what is that saying about me? Oh well, I guess I'm done throwing ideas around...ttyl! Merry Christmas everyone!
~Jas
I had the weirdest night ever last night...and the funny thing is, a couple days ago, last night would've been SO much fun. Don't get me wrong, it was kinda fun, but I was in such an awkward position that I couldn't relax. Good thing I firmly believe in "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". It's funny 'cause everyone keeps making the assumption that I'm angry or mad or revengeful, I'm not...I'm just kinda hurt that I lost a friend over this. The worst part is now I'm wondering if I really ever had that friend. And I don't know which is worse...to lose a friend you thought was close, or to realize a close friend isn't really one at all. I guess it's the same thing. Either way, I know it's partly my fault...I trust way to quickly and easily. Well, what matters is she's happy. I'd rather be the one that ends up hurt than for me to know I've hurt someone (isn't that the story of my life?). All I know is, I hope this break is good, it's been a long time since I've been happy, and I kinda forgot what it feels like. OH GOSH! And last night I found out that a very controversial girl that went to my high school used to go to Wesleyan...it makes me look at my time here TOTALLY differently...what's worse is I found out that now she's a transvestite...OMG...makes me wonder what I'm doing here...if she had even a chance of fitting in here, and now I love it, what is that saying about me? Oh well, I guess I'm done throwing ideas around...ttyl! Merry Christmas everyone!
~Jas