Snow Petals - Chapter Thirteen -
[Multi-Chapter] Snow Petals
Pairings: MaruDa, RyoDa, Akame, TaNaka (one-sided), Jin/Ueda/Ryo friendship, Junno/Maru/Koki friendship, Jin/Kame/Koki/Pi friendship…
Rating: 14-A?
Warning: violence, abuse, swearing, stalking, alcohol abuse, some mentions of drugs (it was just a tranquilizer!), character death, some gore… who knows what else’ll come up.
Summary: There he was, running again, hoping again, escaping again… can he make it this time? If he can’t, he’ll really kill him this time. But what if the help of a compassionate stranger gives him and his friends the desperately needed strength to overcome him? What if all it takes is a helping hand and the help of a newcomer to heal the scars left from the fight?
(Bad summary but just read it and you’ll understand muaha)
Disclaimer: I don’t own these guys! Well, so far I own Shoji and Hideo and whichever other OC’s pop up but otherwise, nope! Well, Ryo’s like an OC… but that doesn’t matter.
| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chap. 2 - 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
| Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapt. 10 |
| Chapt. 11 | Chapt. 12 |
Chapter 13
“Tatchan, has the doctor given any news?”
Tatsuya looks up from his book, shakes his head. “Just that he should keep from moving around too much for a few more days.”
Koki frowns. “It’s been a week… seems like so much longer, doesn’t it?”
Tatsuya nods.
Koki’s eyes narrow and he walks over, lifts Tatsuya’s chin. “You look really pale… have you been eating? When did you last sleep?”
“I just ate lunch… and I fell asleep just after I left last night. I promise.”
Koki pulls him into a hug. “I guess it’s nothing you can control then. I just wish I wasn’t so useless, stuck here watching you two suffer,” he backs away. “Just know that I’m here to help, however I can, ‘kay? I don’t know what I’d do without you two.”
Tatsuya nods slowly, frowning. “Koki… remember, at the bar, when I asked you… how you see Yuichi? As a person?”
Koki blinks. “Yeah?”
“What… is he to you?”
Koki frowns. “I… I guess the best way to put it is he’s my best friend. He’s not like a brother, that’s more like how I see you, but… I don’t know,” his eyes don’t leave Tatsuya’s even when he says the last, lying words. I love him, Tatchan, but you deserve him more.
Tatsuya scrunches his lips in that funny way he does when he’s thinking and frowns. “Are you sure?” he asks.
Koki smiles and pats his shoulder. “I’m sure,” he lies. “Now, I have to go to work, I just stopped in before my shift, but you take care of Yucchi. We’re counting on you.”
Tatsuya tries to smile reassuringly. It cracks, but Koki accepts it and leaves. The door clicks shut quietly and Tatsuya turns back to the bed.
“Shouldn’t you say something, when he comes to visit? He’s really worried about you,” he says hollowly.
Yuichi groans. He stretches his arms above his head, winces and pulls back his arms over his stomach. “I should, I guess… well, I know, but… it’s hard, you know? Seeing him, I get this weird… I don’t know how to explain it.” How do I explain this lack of… of emotion, I guess, that used to be there? Why doesn’t it make my heart beat faster, when he says I’m precious to him?
Tatsuya furrows his brows, seeing Yuichi’s confusion. He knows the man’s worried about something, and he’s always spacing out. He and Tatsuya will simply sit silently for hours, lost in their own individual thoughts. But it bothers Tatsuya. Yuichi didn’t used to do that. So why is he like that now?
“So, I hear you’re getting discharged today,” Koki says with a forced casual tone. Tatsuya’s gone home- to Yuichi’s- to get ready for work and Koki didn’t want his friend to be alone.
“Ah,” Yuichi makes a sound of agreement. “The bone is still a little tender if I stretch it, but I think I’m ready to go back to work soon.”
Koki nods. “That’s good… um… how’s Tatchan been?”
Why always Tatsuya? “He seems to be getting better too. He’s been acting a little funny though…” Yuichi frowns. “He still has nightmares, but that isn’t it. It’s something about… the way he talks, maybe? Or… how he acts around me, I guess? Has anything happened?”
Hearing the other’s words, Koki can guess what’s “different” about Tatsuya and the thought makes his heart pang. “Nothing’s happened that I know of. Maybe he’s feeling embarrassed over something? I dunno.” So you’re finally slipping away, huh?
Yuichi looks down at his hands, clasped on his lap. “He’s always blushing awkwardly at random moments and he’s all fidgety when he isn’t spacing out like he usually does.”
“Is… that so?”
Yuichi nods, almost to himself and stands, wincing a little. “Well, I’d better get my stuff together, right? I don’t want to be a nuisance,” he says, gathering his things.
“You’re never a nuisance,” Koki mumbles.
“Hmm?”
“Nothing. Here, let me help you.”
“Welcome back, Yucchi!” Jin and Kame exclaim as he enters the apartment, though the lower voice sounds… off-key? Yuichi shakes his head. Tatsuya’s weird behaviour must just be making me paranoid. “Woah, you look pale,” Kame continues. “You should sit down. We’ll do the rest,” the younger guides him to a chair.
Yuichi smiles tiredly at him. “Thanks,” he says breathlessly.
Kame smiles at him reassuringly and takes his bags. Koki comes in after he’s gone and kicks off his shoes, gets Yuichi a glass of water. “Here, I’m sure you’re thirsty.”
“I feel like such a pain,” Yuichi laughs shakily. “Thanks,” he says as he accepts the glass.
“That’s ‘cause you’re in pain,” Jin says tonelessly as he sits down next to the elder, “and this is all we can do to help.”
“Jin…” Kame sounds concerned and he frowns at his lover.
Jin shakes his head, waves a hand as if to brush off the subject.
Yuichi notices the dark circles under his eyes, the gauntness in his cheeks that was never there before. His skin looks a little sickly and despite his better judgement- he already knows the answer and he’d have ot be completely stupid not to- Yuichi asks, “Jin… are you okay?”
The room goes silent, Koki sets down his glass from where he was about to take a sip. Jin takes a silent breath. “Who knows,” he whispers.
Kame’s eyebrows twitch into a frown and his lips push out in a slight pout of concern. He pulls up a chair next to Jin and leans against his shoulder. Jin wraps an arm around the other’s shoulders and Kame can feel him shivering again. Ryo… you sure know how to make an exit, he thinks for the thousandth time. But can’t you let them go already? Please? His heart twists and burns when he sees Jin like this. He knows Jin blames himself for Ryo’s death and nothing he says seems to make any difference.
“I’m sorry,” Yuichi whispers, breaking the silence. “I’m… feeling a little tired. I’ll go sleep now,” he stands shakily and heads to his room.
“Tatchan’ll be back in a little while… don’t you want to wait for him?” Koki calls.
“… Tell him I’m sorry and I’ll see him in the morning?”
Koki sighs softly. “Alright. Good night.”
“Goodnight… sorry. Thanks, guys, for seeing me here.”
“He’s… already asleep?” Tatsuya asks softly, when he gets home to find Kame and Koki cooking and Jin in the living room watching the TV. Or, he’s supposedly watching the TV. He’s actually staring off into space in the direction of the TV.
“Sorry, we tried to get him to stay up but…” Kame says with an apologetic frown.
“That’s okay,” Tatsuya says softly. “He’s probably worn out…I’ll just go check up on him,” he goes over to the bedroom, peeks in. Yuichi’s breath seems even enough, so he goes in, closing the door softly behind him. He walks up silently as a shadow, stands and observes Yuichi’s troubled sleeping expression. “Don’t you ever sleep with a smile?” he whispers softly. “If you won’t while you’re awake, can’t you at least allow me one now?”
Yuichi turns and mumbles something in his sleep. Tatsuya tilts his head to one side and sighs softly. “Can’t you at least help me figure this out? It’s your fault I’m confused, and yet it’s thanks to you I’m even alive,” he kneels on the floor and crosses his arms on the edge of the bed. “Can’t you at least help me through this? Or is this the price for your saving me?”
Yuichi murmurs something in his sleep again and Tatsuya strains his ears to make it out, but it’s no use. Yuichi suddenly turns in his sleep again to face Tatsuya and he finds his face only inches from the elder’s. His breath catches and he backs away fast, his face heating up. He scrambles to his feet and leaves, wondering how his heart can ache so badly and beat so hard at the same time.
Yuichi’s brows crumple together and he frowns, his eyes blink open and he sits up. He stretches carefully. “Was… no,” no one was here, right? It was just a dream.
“Jin, come for dinner?” Kame asks softly from over the counter.
Jin nods, stands and sits in his spot at the table.
Kame frowns at him in concern. “Jin…”
Koki frowns too. “He hasn’t gotten any better since…?”
Kame shakes his head. “Worse, almost. He’s like a zombie,” his voice wavers dangerously and he turns away.
Jin watches his boyfriend from the table and his chest constricts painfully. I’m sorry Kazu…
Tatsuya comes out of the bedroom and sits down next to Jin.
“Tatchan, you okay?” Jin asks, but his voice is dead.
Tatsuya looks at him. “I’m fine,” he says in almost the same tone. “But Jin… Kame’s worried about you, we’re all worried about you.”
Jin blinks. “I’m- I’ll be fine,” he says.
An awkward pause follows. Yuichi comes out of his room, a little shaky and pale but otherwise fine. “Do I smell food?” He yawns. “I guess I’m too hungry to sleep,” he tries to grin sheepishly.
“Yepp, dinner will be ready in just a few,” Koki says, trying to sound cheery. It falls a little flat in the dead atmosphere.
Yuichi nods and sits down at the table across from Tatsuya and the other averts his gaze, watches Koki and Kame finish up the nabe. He frowns when Tatsuya refuses to look at him even after the pair from the kitchen move the great big pot onto the table and he feels put-out. What’d I do? Can’t he just tell me? I’ve barely been conscious for a week. Am I a nuisance? Does he feel guilty?
“Itadakimasu,” they all murmur sedately.
Jin and Tatsuya talk to each other in hushed tones and Kame and Koki try to talk with Yuichi, but Kame glances over to his boyfriend and often loses track of what they’re talking about, so he’s mostly listening by the end.
“Do… you guys want to stay here the night? I’m pretty sure I have beers in the fridge,” Yuichi says, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little.
Jin immediately lights up. “Beer?” he runs to the fridge, fishes out a six-pack and brings it back to the table triumphantly. He cracks open one for Tatsuya and one for himself, hands Kame one almost as an afterthought.
Yuichi sees Kame’s frown deepen as Jin chugs the beer, cheerful as before Ryo’s… before. “Kame, what’s wrong?”
Kame pulls his gaze reluctantly from the pair drinking. “He’s… different. He’s only happy now because he knows if he just keeps drinking, he’ll forget for a little while. He doesn’t have nightmares when he’s drunk. He just… well, you’ve seen him drunk. And I think Tatsuya’s the same.”
Yuichi frowns too, noting how the copper-haired man is already on his second beer, like Jin. He takes the drinks away and sets water-bottles in front of them and Jin glares.
“What’d you take them away for?”
Yuichi smiles half-heartedly. “I’m just jealous I guess; I’m not allowed to drink yet.”
“Yucchi, please?” Tatsuya whines. He’s grinning at him but Yuichi knows it’s just alcohol and fatigue talking. He can see how forced it is, still.
“No more or I’ll have to drink and that’ll be bad!” Yuichi tries to tease. “Now, who wants to watch a movie?”
Jin complains about it being boring and Tatsuya pouts but Koki and Kame readily accept. Kame leads his boyfriend to the floor in front of the couch and Koki steals the chair, forcing Tatsuya to sit next to Yuichi on the couch. Yuichi puts in some random movie- Lord of the Rings?-and everyone sits and tries to read the subtitles without falling asleep. Jin’s snoozing away against Kame’s shoulder in no time and Tatsuya fights to stay awake, eventually falling against Yuichi’s shoulder. His hair tickles Yuichi’s cheek but the elder’s worried that if he moves, Tatsuya will fall to a far more awkward position so he leaves him be. He doesn’t really want to admit it to himself, but he likes Tatsuya’s soft warmth at his side and the soft whisper of the man’s breath as he sleeps.
When the ending credits roll some time after 10:00 they decide it’s time to prepare for bed. Yuichi reminds himself that even if he doesn’t have work the next day, the others do and no one seems to sleep well these days, besides. Yuichi shifts and prods Tatsuya’s shoulder gently, rousing him from his sleep.
“Mmm? What is it?” Tatsuya mumbles, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “I’m sleepy…”
Yuichi smiles softly, his previous awkwardness forgotten. “Of course you are; it’s still night-time but you shouldn’t sleep on the couch.”
Tatsuya, still half-asleep, shifts and hugs Yuichi’s waist like it’s a pillow. “I don’t want to move, I’m warm here…” he mumbles like a little kid.
Yuichi blushes at the other’s position and coughs a little, shifts so Tatsuya doesn’t squeeze his bad side. “Tatsuya, come on.”
“I don’t wanna…”
Koki smirks at the pair from across the room to hide his envy. “Having some difficulties, Yucchi?”
Kame glances back and wants to laugh but he’s in a similar situation, only Jin’s not too shy to crawl over his lap and grind down a little. Kame closes his eyes tight and tries not to groan. He then kicks Jin off of him. “Go set up the futon! It’s over there!” he yells at him with a hint of a smile. Irritating as Bakanishi can be, he still finds him cute and it’s a grateful change from these days’ zombie-nishi.
“Kame, when was the last time you went to work?” Koki suddenly pipes up.
The question takes the younger a little off-guard. “What? Oh, work? I worked an early shift the other day, but I’ve been trying to keep close to Jin. It’s also been a little difficult… facing my workplace, fi you know what I mean…” he trails off. “But Jin’s manager’s frozen his projects for the time being too, saying he doesn’t want him back until he looks like a living being,” Kame tries to say the last lightly, but he chokes a little.
“I’m sorry, Kazu,” Jin reappears and his voice is soft but still toneless. “I’m sorry I’m causing trouble… I’m sorry I ruined-”
“Don’t!” Kame cries, his voice almost pleading. “Please stop apologizing… it just makes it worse when you do,” his head drops down to his lap where his hands are clenched, white-knuckled, before looking back up again. “I don’t mind looking after you and I don’t mind missing work to spend time with you but please just stop apologizing! Why won’t you see I’m here for you not because I have to be but because I love you?” he stares at the other with teary eyes, breathing a quickly, shallowly. When Jin doesn’t move, he bites his lip and hangs his head again.
Yuichi, having given up on waking Tatsuya again for the time being, shifts awkwardly and Koki’s expression is apologetic for triggering the outburst.
There’s a moment of tense silence before Kame feels strong arms wrap around his shoulders as Jin pulls him in against his chest. Kame can feel a slight dampness against his neck where Jin’s settled his own and he hugs the other tightly. “Please stop apologizing and just come back to me, Jin,” he murmurs against Jin’s chest. “Just get better so everything can go back to normal.”
“Jin?” Tatsuya’s sleepy voice stirs the other and he looks up.
“Tatchan…” Jin’s chest constricts at the other’s innocently confused expression that’s turning to concern.
“Jin, what’s wrong?” Tatsuya rubs his eyes, still not quite awake, and Yuichi helps him sit up.
Jin closes his eyes for a moment and leans his head against Kame’s. He threads his fingers through the younger’s soft hair and smiles shakily. He meets Tatsuya with a wary, shaky smile. “N-nothing’s wrong, Tatchan. I’m okay,” he feels Kame stiffen in suspicion but he kisses the younger’s hair gently and holds him close. “I-I’m okay… everything’s fine now,” he murmurs.
“Tatsuya, let’s get to bed, okay? You’ve got the opening shift tomorrow,” Yuichi whispers to the younger, who still looks confused, but he’s starting to gain awareness now.
Tatsuya gives his friends a last look before turning to Yuichi. “Okay, guess we’d better…” he murmurs. He stands, sways a little before regaining his balance. He shakes his head to clear it of sleep and gives Yuichi a passing reassuring grin. “Oops, guess I shouldn’t stand too quick after waking up, huh?”
Yuichi frowns at him, but shrugs. Then he’s struck by a thought. “Umm… I don’t have enough room here for four of us to sleep in the living room…”
“I shotgun the couch!” Koki immediately responds, with a strange grin on his face, Yuichi decides. “You two can share the bed; I don’t wanna be victim to Tatchan’s nightmare flails. I saw the bruise on your jaw from that one time,” he says and Tatsuya blushes.
“I’m really sorry about that…” the man in question mutters.
Yuichi pats his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it; I wasn’t being careful is all. It’s not your fault.”
“I feel bad taking the bed all the time though… maybe Yuichi and Koki could share the bed this time,” Tatsuya insists.
Kame shakes his head, lifting it from Jin’s shoulder and turns to face the standing pair. “You two are the injured parties; you get the bed.”
“Come on, there’s no convincing them,” Yuichi says softly, though he’s feeling as embarrassed as Tatsuya looks. Of course I’ll be stuck right next to the guy who’s managed to occupy my mind constantly for the last few days… he grumbles inwardly. Of course I’ll be stuck sleeping next to the guy who makes my heart beat faster and who sucks the oxygen from the room like a fire and- damn. How am I gonna sleep? Aloud, he says, “You can change first; I’ll wait till you’re done.”
“…thanks,” Tatsuya murmurs.
When the other’s gone, Yuichi gets himself a glass of water and his eyes wander to watch Koki set himself up on the couch. Koki takes off his shirt- “I hate sleeping in a shirt. I feel like someone’s trying to strangle me,” he’s insisted on the countless occasions Yuichi tried to get him to keep one on- but the sight doesn’t bring a flush to Yuichi’s cheeks anymore, and he doesn’t get the urge to trail his fingers over the well-defined abs anymore and his heart doesn’t beat faster like it used to.
He finishes his water just as Tatsuya comes back out in a loose t-shirt and sweats. “Your turn,” he yawns and gets himself a drink as they switch.
“Nee, Tatchan,” Koki calls from the couch after Yuichi’s closed the door.
“Hmm?”
“Watch out, tonight?”
Tatsuya frowns in confusion. “What?”
“Yucchi likes to hug in his sleep. I don’t think he knows it, but I’ve woken up numerous times with his arms around my waist. I thought I was just special, but apparently Junno has too.”
Tatsuya blushes briefly and tries to hide it behind is glass. The thought that maybe that wouldn’t be too bad, crosses his mind but he shoos it away. “Umm… thanks for the…warning?”
“And the opportunity,” Koki mutters, loud enough for Jin and Kame next to him to hear, but not Tatsuya.
“Hmm?”
“Nothing,” the other sing-songs and Yuichi comes out of his room yawning.
“Well, I’m turning in. Goodnight everyone,” he says.
“Me too,” Tatsuya says. “Goodnight.”
“Enjoy your sleep,” Koki says and Yuichi blinks at his friend’s and former crush’s grin.
On To | Chapter 14 |