SPN Fic: Throw Your Arms Around Me (2/2)
Back to Part 1
*****
“Jensen!”
He heard Jared’s voice reach out for him across the water. Every night for weeks, Jared had struck out in his kayak, carving quadrants out of the lake, searching, calling. No matter how silent the cut of the boat through the water, no matter how smooth the dip of the oar, Jensen could always sense Jared coming nearer. He would ascend, peek up into the air, just to hear the sound of his name, sometimes a shout, sometimes barely a whisper under Jared’s breath. But the calls were never answered.
“Jensen?”
Every night, Jensen sank back down to the soft, silty lake bottom and fled the other way.
*****
He soon discovered those brief encounters weren’t enough, and in due course, as if hauled in by a reel, he found himself in the waters near Jared’s house.
He’d noticed that Jared only came seeking him at night. He’d figured it was because Jared was still at work all through the day, but Jensen found that was not Jared’s only employment. He and a small crew of workmen were building something on the Padaleckis' dock.
Swimming closer, Jensen tried to discern what was going on. Jared was hammering nails into a bare-frame structure taking shape, a skeleton of walls and roof hinting at what was to come. Another two men carried lumber down the lawn, while a third worked a table saw, its sharp whine as it sheared through the wood grating in Jensen’s ear. Was it going to be a storage shed of some sort? A boathouse? Jensen couldn’t tell.
The other men must be Jared’s buddies from his construction job. Jensen thought he recognized them from Jared’s descriptions of his worksites. The memory brought back nights out by the dock the previous summer, Jared regaling him with tales of learning to build a house or store from the ground up, cement foundations and shingled roofs, clever workarounds and near-misses.
Now he was leaning over a worktable studying what must be a blueprint, and Jensen’s throat ached with familiar fondness as he saw Jared flip his hair back out of his eyes with a shake of his head.
Jensen knew it was masochistic to come here, to soak in the sight of Jared when it had been-was-Jensen himself who cut contact. But the daily habit was too ingrained. If Jared was at the lake, Jensen was compelled to be near, even if it meant this kind of craven spying.
Jared turned to look out over the water, workglove-clad hands on his hips, back arching to stretch out a sore spot. He was not-so-subtly scanning the area, so Jensen ducked under before he was caught out.
It was okay. He’d be back tomorrow.
*****
The very last day of that August was different from every other. There would be no goodbyes, although the familiar regret stung deeper than ever. There would be no plans made for the following year. Who knew, perhaps Jensen had finally discouraged Jared with his weeks of silence so much that he would not return to the lake at all. He hadn’t allowed himself to think of it in such stark terms before, but that was the goal, after all, wasn’t it?
Jensen managed to stay away all day that day, but by nighttime his willpower was exhausted and he drifted again into those once-beloved waters. A few more hours, just a few more hours, he repeated to himself as a mantra.
When he finally surfaced, it was hot, the air barely cooler now than when the sun had beat down from the top of its arc. Jared was there, sitting on the edge of the dock, barefoot and bare-chested, leaning against the wall of the finished boathouse. Or maybe it was storage after all, since it had no door large enough to move something as big as a boat inside. But why storage on the dock? If there was one good thing about Jared leaving the next day, it was that Jensen would feel safe getting close enough to inspect the structure and see exactly what it was.
Jensen’s eyes shot back to Jared, climbing slowly to his feet. Scratch that, there were no good things about the next day.
But Jared wasn’t heading up to the house. Instead he faced the lake, his voice carrying over the duet being sung by waves and cicadas, shouting, “Goddamnit, I know you’re out there!” And to Jensen’s surprise, Jared put his arms up and dove in, heading straight out from shore.
Jared swam with a fierce, flying stroke. Jensen trailed him below. He kept waiting for Jared to slow, to flag, to turn back, but Jared pushed on and on, relentless, inexplicable. Eventually, they were so far away from land the light on the Padaleckis’ porch was barely visible, the lake as thick and black as oil all around. And still Jared swam.
Jensen didn’t even realize he was going to reveal himself until he broke to the surface, a safe fifteen yards or so away. “Jared. Jared! Stop. You’re too far out,” he called. “It’s dangerous.”
Jared must have been listening for him, because he pulled up immediately, hands slapping the water furiously as he treaded in place. “Fuck you, Jensen. Where have you been?” he panted swiftly between labored breaths. “I spotted you. I know you were there, that you saw me that first night, on the float with Tom. And-and I didn’t mean for you to have to see anything like that. But later, when I thought you might be avoiding me because maybe you were jealous, that you could be jealous, well, I was glad it happened. Then you stayed away and stayed away, and the more I thought about it, I started to worry you were mad or disappointed or- or something.” His voice broke, the solid spear of anger splintering into anguish, but he forged on. “And weeks went by with no you. You left and I couldn’t find you. Don’t you know,” he went on, “the worst day for me, every year, is packing to come here to the lake? Every time I think, what if this year is the year he’s gone? Hurt- or worse- and no one here to help you, save you. No one here to tell me what happened to you. I imagine standing there in the cove and you never show up, and I never-“ He cut off, agitated, spinning futilely around in a circle before turned back to Jensen. “You can’t just disappear on me. You can’t.”
Jensen let the flood of words wash over him. He had no easy response in the face of Jared’s pain.
“So what was it? What did I do to get months of your silent treatment?”
Either Jensen had to answer or flee again. “It wasn’t-I wasn’t angry,” he started, then stalled.
“Then what?”
“You were right, I was jealous. I have-I have feelings for you, Jared. I thought what I felt was friendship. I mean, it’s always been friendship, but somehow it turned into more.” Jensen knew the truth would damn him, but if Jared insisted on hearing it, he might as well put the worst out in the open. “I want you. Like a human lover would. I want you like that other had you, the night I saw. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
He tensed, prepared for Jared’s disgust and condemnation. Instead Jared abruptly flung his arms out to the sides, his head sinking back, chin up, floating, his eyes squeezed shut. “Oh thank god.”
“What?” Jensen didn’t understand why Jared wasn’t cursing him, wasn’t turning and swimming back to shore.
Just as quickly, Jared righted himself, three strokes sending him, not away, but right to Jensen, within limb’s-reach of where he drifted. Jared was smiling, grinning actually. “How could I hate you? I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I just never figured you’d feel the same. About someone like me.”
Jensen felt caught in the wake of a speedboat, tumbling and disoriented. “That’s not possible.”
“It is,” Jared assured him, moving even closer.
“I-I don’t know what to do.”
“Why don’t you kiss me?”
“What?” Jensen repeated, still reeling.
“Kissing. It’s what humans do to express affection, and desire.” He couldn’t believe Jared was joking at a time like this, but there was the same old teasing, caught in the quirk of Jared’s lip.
“Shut up,” Jensen said defensively. “I know what kissing is! This is ridiculous.” He shifted back, putting a few feet of water between them. “We aren’t-this can’t work.”
Jared followed. “How about I kiss you?”
Jensen glanced at Jared’s mouth and swallowed down a surge of yearning. His response came out low as a whisper. “You don’t even know what I am.”
“I know what you are,” Jared declared. He reached out, slid a hand down Jensen’s flank, past his waist until he encountered one of Jensen’s outer limbs. He pulled at it until it was out of the water, the length of it slowly slipping across his palm until he held the very end.
Jensen let it curl around Jared’s wrist like jewelry, or a manacle.
“This doesn’t freak you out?” Even in a whisper, Jensen couldn’t keep the tremble out of his voice.
“No.” Jared’s voice, by contrast, was rock-solid. “It doesn’t freak me out.”
He pulled, dragging Jensen into his arms, and Jensen felt Jared thrust his feet into the mass of Jensen’s other limbs, twisting them, tangling the two of them together.
Then Jared leaned in, his tongue coming out and tracing around Jensen’s mouth, nudging its way unexpectedly between his lips, warm and slick and foreign. Startled, amazed, Jensen sucked a breath in through his gills and tried to act like he knew what he was doing. He concentrated on copying Jared’s movements, and soon their tongues were sliding against each other, careful and then not so careful at all but sloppy and greedy. And fuck concentration, Jensen just surrendered. He let sensation flow through him as Jared’s hand, still swathed in Jensen’s limb, came up to cup his face. He felt Jared draw his bottom lip into his mouth and suck, hard, and Jensen arched up into it, moving mindlessly as heat cascaded downward, a soft moan issuing from the back of his throat, vibrating where their mouths met.
Jared pulled back first, gasping, “Sorry. Sorry. Was that too much? I got carried away. I mean, was that okay?”
Jensen didn’t understand apologies, he just wanted more, his gut swooping and fluttering like a flock of starlings startled from a treetop. “Definitely okay.” He reached out and touched the tip of his finger to Jared’s lips, swollen from the kiss and plum-dark in the moonlight. “Definitely.”
Jared took the hand in both of his. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too.”
Involuntarily, one of Jensen’s limbs slid a little ways up, ruffling the hair on Jared’s shin, and smoothing across the sensitive back of his knee, the soft skin of his thigh, until he was nudging into the leg opening of Jared’s swimsuit.
Jared quirked an eyebrow at him, and Jensen jerked the limb away, feeling his face heat up. But Jared simply laughed the way he often did, the way Jensen loved most, his head tilted back, his hands clapping together with amusement.
“They have a mind of their own, huh?” he smirked when he was done.
“I guess,” Jensen said ruefully.
“That’s perfectly fine with me,” Jared said, leaning in again. But instead of initiating another kiss, he put his lips to Jensen’s ear, whispering sultry-sweet, “I want you to touch me.”
Jensen froze for a second to process the words, then let go the reins. Limbs flowed around Jared in a mass, sweeping over the sides of his ribcage and the muscles of his belly, wrapping around his hips, making slow half-circles from collarbone to collarbone, touching skin, everywhere. One passed over the soft nub of a nipple and Jared mewled, squirming and bucking closer.
“There?” Jensen asked, unsure.
“There,” Jared growled, and he reached out, rubbing his own thumbs over both of Jensen’s nipples to reciprocate.
Jensen gasped at the tiny bolt of electricity that jagged from his nipples down his spine right to his cock, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Jared tugged him a little closer, both of them panting quick, sharp breaths into the small space of air between them. In the silvered dimness, he could see a flush on Jared’s cheeks, the quick flicker of Jared’s tongue over his bottom lip. He slid a limb up along Jared’s neck to feel the heat radiating off of his skin.
“I like that I can do that to you,” Jared murmured. “Make you feel like that.”
“I’ve never felt anything like it,” Jensen admitted, stupidly embarrassed by his own naïveté.
“Oh god, Jensen. There’s so much more. Let me-” But then he cut off. He snagged the limb around his neck in one hand and brought it to his lips, hesitating an excruciatingly long moment to search Jensen’s face before taking it into the soft heat of his mouth.
Jensen cried out sharply in surprise. Where the kiss had been breathtaking, Jensen’s brain nearly shorted out at the sudden rush of endorphins that crashed through him, an incredible wave that started where his limb met Jared’s mouth and washed across every nerve, drowning him in sensation. The rest of his limbs flew up to cup around Jared’s body, holding him up, cradling him as Jared drew Jensen’s limb deeper into his mouth, his tongue stroking and pulling, each touch winding Jensen tighter and tighter.
Jensen could feel a trace the strange fluid his limb secreted pulse out into Jared’s mouth, and he yanked it back, mortified. “I’m sorry. Oh, fuck, so sorry.”
But the expression on Jared’s face was surprised and… and delighted, not sickened. He recaptured the limb, holding it up and examining it wonderingly. “No, Jensen. It’s fine. It’s more than fine.” Jensen could hardly believe his eyes as Jared stuck his tongue out- almost like a tiny limb of his own - and delicately lapped at the ridges on the underside. “It tastes sweet!” he announced gleefully, licking a long, firm stripe up to the tip and then sucking it deep into his mouth, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure.
Jensen brushed a thumb across Jared’s bottom lip where it was stretched around the limb. He couldn’t stop touching Jared’s mouth. “Is this alright?” Jensen asked.
Jared nodded, still suckling, his hands leaving their grip on the limb in his mouth to fumble with the tie on his swimsuit, tugging it loose and shoving the fabric over his hips. Jensen could feel him kick it free so that he floated naked, still supported in Jensen’s embrace.
It was too dark to see, but the mental image alone was overpowering. Using his hands, Jensen stroked along Jared’s back, feeling the long muscles bunch and move beneath his skin, and slid down to Jared’s perfect ass, kneading his fingers into firm, smooth flesh. At the same time, he cautiously eased the tip one limb into the crack between Jared’s cheeks, and Jared pushed immediately back into the touch with a groan. It was the neediest, most glorious sound Jensen had ever heard, and he wanted to hear Jared make it again, over and over.
But just when Jensen felt he might have control of the situation, Jared released the limb in his mouth and dipped his head to the side. Jensen felt a slight nip to the flesh joining his neck and shoulder, then Jared was worrying and biting at his skin, marking him, leaving a row of throbbing points behind. His limbs stilled as one as his whole being centered on the sting of Jared’s mouth and teeth. But when Jared finally reached a particular tender point under Jensen’s jaw, he gently laved it rather than biting, Jensen shuddered and snapped back, a few limbs resuming their churning below to keep him and Jared afloat while the rest continued their exploration of Jared’s body, even more desperately than before.
When Jared pushed closer, Jensen felt something hard and sleek and hot, so hot, sliding against his belly. He worked a limb in between them and encircled it, stroking its length, learning its heft and curve, while Jared moaned, his head thrown back, droplets whipping from his hair as he pushed up into Jensen’s grip, hips pistoning.
But then he suddenly pulled away. “Oh Jesus, Jensen. More, I want more...”
Jared threw himself back into the bed of Jensen’s supporting limbs, water swirling as he spread his legs apart. Jensen made a hoarse noise, and found his hands smoothing up and down the bared portion of Jared’s inner thighs. He let his thinnest limb curl up and search for the clench of muscle behind Jared’s balls, tentatively circling Jared’s entrance with a touch as light as evening breeze. Jensen held Jared's gaze for a long moment, his voice failing him at the moment of permission. But at Jared’s desperate, “Please, god, please,” he held onto Jared’s waist, pressed with the limb, wriggled and pushed harder, his fluid slicking the way, and-oh-he was inside Jared, probing carefully.
Jensen had never felt anything like this before, had no words to tell Jared what it was like for him. He had no frame of reference to compare to how incredible it felt. This joining of their flesh. Him entering, Jared enveloping him. Supple, tight, and close. So close to Jared, closer than he ever knew he could be.
Jensen was only dimly aware of Jared’s frantic encouragements in the background, his attention fully on what he was doing, gently pushing against the resistance, working the limb slowly deeper and deeper. Jared arched and clenched convulsively around him, squeezing around Jensen with magnificent pressure. Carefully, so carefully, Jensen pushed another in, exploring Jared’s insides doubly with gentle nudges and strokes. A third limb rubbed Jared’s belly, soothing, and another was lashed loosely around Jared’s neck, cupping his chin and making sure his head stayed above water. He could see glints of the sticky liquid from his limb-tip smeared across Jared’s cheek, and Jensen leaned in to cover it with his mouth, to taste it for himself. It was sweet, but sharp, too, like wild blackberries ripened in the June sun. He thought he could feel his muscles loosen as the taste swept over his tongue. It was probably soaking into Jared’s insides too, he could feel Jared become more pliant, more relaxed in his arms.
Gulping in a breath of the humid air almost as thick as the water below, Jensen murmured down at him. "I-I didn't know it would be..."
"I didn’t either," Jared echoed, voice wobbly and high, his hips moving in unconscious rhythm. "Thought about you, wished for you, never imagined you could feel like this."
Jensen’s own cock was stiff and throbbing, dying to take the place of his limbs, craving that heat, that tightness. He pushed it into the groove between Jared’s thigh and belly, rubbing it in time with Jared’s thrusts, his breath coming almost in sobs now.
He felt Jared’s hand reach down, clasp around Jensen’s dick, guide it shakily down to where Jensen’s limbs were pumping in and out of him. “Inside,” he demanded. “Inside me now.”
Jensen could only do as he was told. He added another limb to the support at Jared’s back and slipped his hands beneath each of Jared’s knees, lifting his legs up toward his chest, spreading him impossibly wide, opening him up completely. He pulled both seated limbs out, Jared whimpering at the loss, but Jensen didn’t make him wait. Jared buried his face in Jensen’s shoulder as Jensen buried himself to the hilt inside.
“Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Jared cried uncontrollably into Jensen’s skin. Jensen’s own thoughts were a maelstrom, centered only on the sensations in his groin, the pressure of Jared around him made slick by Jensen’s own essence, the flex of Jared’s muscles as Jensen’s cock plunged up and in. He felt Jared’s fingers grabbing at his back, nails raking across his spine; the pain sent a delicious thrill through him. The time for gentleness was through.
It was Jared who set the furious pace, rocking up to meet Jensen’s powerful thrusts. But at the same time, Jensen couldn’t keep his free limbs still, circling Jared’s balls, pushing against Jared’s rim, at the skin stretched taut where Jensen filled him, coiled around the entire length of Jared’s cock, working it in long, sleek strokes.
He could see Jared's orgasm building, racing through his body like bubbles rushing to the water’s surface, and suddenly Jensen was heedless of his own need, because the only thing he wanted in the entire world was to see this, to cause this. And then it happened, Jared impaling himself down onto Jensen’s cock with quick, jerking movements, his furious thrashing sending water splashing across his face, warm seed splashing out over Jensen’s coiled limb and onto Jared’s own belly.
Within a few seconds Jensen was following, his orgasm bright and sudden like a lightning strike on the lake surface, brutal heat rushing outward from the single point of contact, inexorable, pleasure wracking him like it never had before. Jared’s fingers still gripped his back like brands of fire, holding him steady even as they seemed to burn through his skin. Jensen threw his head back, and let out a cry, and another, and another, his cock pulsing, coating Jared’s insides, his limbs clutching Jared too tight against him.
Afterward, Jensen muzzily became aware that they had started to sink. He barely had enough sense to lift up, flip them around in the water so that Jared lay resting on his chest, the two of them cocooned in his limbs, floating for who knows how long, as the moon quietly set.
*****
He felt Jared shiver, despite the lingering warmth of air and water and the protection of his limbs' embrace, so Jensen decided it was time to get him home. Jared had always been more sensitive to the water temperature than Jensen was, always got cold more easily.
And the thought of cold made Jensen’s stomach suddenly twist. Fall was here. Jared was leaving tomorrow.
He silently gathered Jared up, head still resting on Jensen’s shoulder, and began swimming them across the surface back toward shore. A puff of breath tickled against his neck as Jared chuckled. “Now I know what Lois Lane feels like being carried by Superman.”
Jensen couldn’t help but snort at the image, but his anxiety about Jared’s departure- what this night meant for him, them, going forward- tied his tongue. He could feel Jared’s eyes on him, feel him shift around trying to get a better look at Jensen’s face, but he simply tightened his arms and swam faster.
It didn’t take long for Jensen to reach the dock and its new outbuilding, and he knew time had run out. As Jared put a hand on the dock’s edge, Jensen let go and paddled back, giving him room to escape. But he couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Can we do this again next summer?”
“Next summer?” Jared echoed. “How about later tonight? Or in the morning? Or both?” He grinned wide, but when Jensen didn’t respond, the lightheartedness drained out of his expression. He stared at Jensen silently for a moment, then, “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s September, Jared,” he said simply.
“Ah,” he replied, and shocked Jensen with the return of the smile. Not as bright, more gently amused and fond. “But I have something to show you. Something you’d have known about a long time ago if you hadn’t been such a jackass all summer.”
Jensen frowned, but Jared simply reached out to take his hand. “We’re going inside,” he said, indicating the mysterious structure on the dock with a cock of his head, “but you have to go under to get in.”
With that, Jared gulped in a breath and ducked into the water, dragging Jensen behind him. Submerged, it was pitch-black, but Jared must’ve known right where to go, because they came up in the still, close air inside the building.
“Hold on,” Jared said. “Let me get a light.” Jensen heard a slosh as Jared hopped up out of the water, then the pad of his feet across a wooden floor. “Okay, watch out.”
A little lantern flickered on, filling the space with golden light. For a minute, Jensen couldn’t look at anything but Jared, standing naked before him, water glistening on his skin, the play of shadows emphasizing the cut of the muscles in his chest and hips, the soft curve of his cock in a damp nest of hair. Jared, clearly expecting more attention to be paid to the surroundings, not himself, blushed with uncharacteristic bashfulness and hurried to jump back into the water next to Jensen.
“What is this place?” Jensen asked, finally gazing around. It appeared to be the inside of a tiny, one-room human house, but with a rectangular pool cut into the floor. Although it was spartan, there was a little kitchen area against the wall nearest shore, and a desk with bookshelves. While the opening into the water took up most of the width in the middle, to the back, practically on the lip of the pool, was a futon bed, made up with sheets and blankets.
“It’s a replacement for our old meeting spot at the cove,” Jared said proudly. “I built it because I’m staying.”
Jensen turned back to stare at him. “What do you mean, staying?”
“I got into a doctoral program in marine biology at the state university about half an hour away so that I could live here at the lake from now on. I figure if I build some credentials in the field, eventually I can conduct a public study of the lake and announce for certain that nothing unusual lives here.” He smirked, pleased with his own cleverness. But immediately his expression hardened. “Plus, my parents have forgiven me enough to keep me in the family, but not enough to come back here anymore. I think I must have tainted it for them, or something. Told me they’re done with it. So the property’s mine now. They called it a graduation gift.” When these announcements were met with stunned silence, Jared bit his lip and shrugged. “I didn’t have anywhere else I wanted to be,” he said apologetically.
“Jared,” Jensen breathed. “I can’t believe it.”
“But I can always make other arrangements, if-if you think it’s going to be too weird or-“ but Jensen didn’t let Jared get another word out before lunging forward and burying his hands in Jared’s slicked-back hair, pushing him back against the edge of the dock, floor, whatever, and kissing him with all his might.
Jensen knew what to do this time. His was the mouth that opened first, his was the tongue that sought entrance into Jared, tasting, praising, adoring. And it was even better here, in the light, in the shelter Jared built for them with his own two hands.
With a gasp, Jared pulled back, just an inch, and the grin was back, full force. “So I take that as a yes?”
After Jensen finished kissing him again in confirmation, Jared spent the next twenty minutes babbling excitedly, pointing out to Jensen every detail of the little cottage, including the fact that he’d fetched their old driftwood bench from the cove and mounted it on the side of the pool closest to the bed. “And there’s actually a winch attached to the floor frame so I can crank the whole thing up or down as the water level of the lake rises and falls. Jeff, from the work crew, he thought of that. But I also got a lot of ideas from luxury ice shanties that crazy sport fisherman use up north in the winter. Plus, the most important part is that you have a safe haven in case one of those myth-hunter clowns comes around to look for you again, because you know they will never think to look in here. And, hey, I’m hoping to save up to put a generator in here, so I can heat this area of the water in the winter. At least enough that I can be in here with you without wearing a wetsuit.”
Jared cut himself off abruptly, and Jensen was dense enough that it took him a minute to catch on. What Jared wanted to do that required a lack of wetsuit.
“Do you think you might want to spend the night here? Like old times?” Jared asked, his voice almost conversational, except for the soft edge of nervousness shading the lower regions.
“I would love to,” Jensen said, his voice most absolutely not breaking, leaning in to swipe one more addictive kiss from Jared’s mouth. It felt floating, or maybe like flying. He thought he might feel like this forever more. “Anyway,” he added, “it’s way nicer than that shack I was planning for you.”
Memory dawned across Jared’s face and he laughed, wrapping his arms around Jensen and pulling him closer, practically on top of him where he sat on the pool’s underwater step. “Only the best for my boyfriend,” Jared crooned into his temple.
Jensen felt a few limbs automatically twine themselves around Jared’s legs and waist in response to all that bare skin. He glanced down at them meaningfully and then back up into Jared’s warm gaze. “Boyfriend?”
“Lakemonsterfriend doesn’t have quite the same ring to it,” Jared retorted, and the fact that Jared was willing to tease him about it was enough for Jensen to put his doubts a rest. At least for now.
“I guess I can live with boyfriend,” Jensen allowed. He sent another limb snaking up Jared’s torso to tweak his nipple, just to feel Jared buck underneath him. “Now, why don’t you show me all the things you want your boyfriend to do?”
“It might take awhile,” Jared said, grinding his hips up into Jensen.
“That’s okay," Jensen replied. "We’ve got all the time in the world.”
*****