Are you Sam or Dean today?
Yesterday, tvm and I were chatting about the boys. (You say, yeah, what’s new? But no, this time it wasn’t porny. Well, mostly not porny. Some not porny.)
And we were talking about how often relationships in our own lives-either between friends or lovers-face the same problem that Sam and Dean have: that one person in the relationship needs more than the other.
And that sometimes in life you are the Dean. You are always chasing after a certain friend or a lover. You want their attention, you want them to need your attention, and you find yourself either clinging all the harder the more they pull away or shutting yourself off from them to avoid the pain of not being their everything (or at least something more). And then sometimes you’re the Sam. You love a certain friend or a partner dearly, but there is more going on in your life than just them, and so you feel smothered or burdened by their neediness and their demands. As halfshellvenus has Sam say in her perfectly beautiful fic, Impasse (which you must go read), “I can’t be the only thing in the world that keeps you happy… It’s too much weight for one person to carry, and I can’t be that for you or anyone else.”
And maybe we relate to the characters (particularly those scenes in Shadow or Salvation and Devil’s Trap where Dean and Sam are wrestling with this dynamic) based on our own experiences with being more needed or more needy. Just a thought.
And we were talking about how often relationships in our own lives-either between friends or lovers-face the same problem that Sam and Dean have: that one person in the relationship needs more than the other.
And that sometimes in life you are the Dean. You are always chasing after a certain friend or a lover. You want their attention, you want them to need your attention, and you find yourself either clinging all the harder the more they pull away or shutting yourself off from them to avoid the pain of not being their everything (or at least something more). And then sometimes you’re the Sam. You love a certain friend or a partner dearly, but there is more going on in your life than just them, and so you feel smothered or burdened by their neediness and their demands. As halfshellvenus has Sam say in her perfectly beautiful fic, Impasse (which you must go read), “I can’t be the only thing in the world that keeps you happy… It’s too much weight for one person to carry, and I can’t be that for you or anyone else.”
And maybe we relate to the characters (particularly those scenes in Shadow or Salvation and Devil’s Trap where Dean and Sam are wrestling with this dynamic) based on our own experiences with being more needed or more needy. Just a thought.