Owning up to our mistakes
Although it's all over my flist, I feel like this deserves a signal boost.
Many of you may have heard about the racially-offensive J2 story that was posted yesterday. If not, I suggest you check out some links, because I don't believe it is ever a waste of time to educate yourself about the various appropriate ways to deal with race, privilege, and hurtful stereotype in fic and in our community.
If you want to judge for yourself without reading the whole 80K fic, bossymarmelade has excerpted some of the most problematic lines/elements from the story. amazonziti has collected many links of discussion. july has recently returned from Haiti and uses that for perspective.
I have many thinky thoughts about this, but one I will bring up here.
It is hard to be in the wrong. HARD. Personally, I hate it and it sometimes physically pains me to admit it when it happens (because I am prideful and think highly of myself and my own good judgment and intelligence). But it happens to all of us. So, to me, the key for all of us is to figure out how to admit to our mistakes, especially those that hurt someone else. For example, although the author of this fic has apologized, she has not (so far) taken down the story, not linked that apology to the still-public fic (done! 6/15), argued for forgiveness because her mistakes were unintentional ("In fact, I never thought about it in terms of race at all, really."), and hidden(done! 6/15) frozen comments criticizing her and/or discussing the racist content of the story. Those actions make it hard for me to take her apology in good faith.
So here's the lesson I'm hoping we'll all internalize from this, and it goes beyond racefail: when you've (I've) done something wrong or hurtful, own up. Apologize. Don't try to excuse yourself (myself) or talk about your (my) intentions or make caveats. Just BE SORRY and say it out loud. And then stop doing the thing that's wrong or hurtful. And try as best you (I) can to figure out ways not to do it again.
It sounds easy, but it's not. IT'S HARD BEING WRONG. I know, because I'm wrong ALL THE TIME. We all are. That doesn't excuse the responsibility to make things right.
Many of you may have heard about the racially-offensive J2 story that was posted yesterday. If not, I suggest you check out some links, because I don't believe it is ever a waste of time to educate yourself about the various appropriate ways to deal with race, privilege, and hurtful stereotype in fic and in our community.
I have many thinky thoughts about this, but one I will bring up here.
It is hard to be in the wrong. HARD. Personally, I hate it and it sometimes physically pains me to admit it when it happens (because I am prideful and think highly of myself and my own good judgment and intelligence). But it happens to all of us. So, to me, the key for all of us is to figure out how to admit to our mistakes, especially those that hurt someone else. For example, although the author of this fic has apologized, she has not (so far) taken down the story, not linked that apology to the still-public fic (done! 6/15), argued for forgiveness because her mistakes were unintentional ("In fact, I never thought about it in terms of race at all, really."), and hidden(done! 6/15) frozen comments criticizing her and/or discussing the racist content of the story. Those actions make it hard for me to take her apology in good faith.
So here's the lesson I'm hoping we'll all internalize from this, and it goes beyond racefail: when you've (I've) done something wrong or hurtful, own up. Apologize. Don't try to excuse yourself (myself) or talk about your (my) intentions or make caveats. Just BE SORRY and say it out loud. And then stop doing the thing that's wrong or hurtful. And try as best you (I) can to figure out ways not to do it again.
It sounds easy, but it's not. IT'S HARD BEING WRONG. I know, because I'm wrong ALL THE TIME. We all are. That doesn't excuse the responsibility to make things right.