fanfic: Cycle

[deinonychus_1]

This is the final chapter of my Connor/Becker 'Need' series. It's not the ending that I know a lot of you wanted, but it was the only way that I could see this realistically going (despite

Comments

[sadera992]

ah. ugh. how powerfully bad that is. i see why its called cycle now. its painful but awfully likely. its so horrible that connor cant even see it.

i'm glad at least that it didnt end in suicide like i kinda expected it to. brilliant stuff, well done.

i shall be mulling this over for weeks now.

[deinonychus_1]

thanks. It was quite hard to write something this depressing, which is why it's taken me so long to get on with it. I was dithering over the title, actually, trying to decide if 'cycle' would either be too obvious or too obtuse, so I'm glad you got it.

[sadera992]

i think its a perfect title.

and well done completing this emotional haul!

[fredbassett]

Oh ouch, that really was a painful ended, but I'm glad you took it in this direction. It's realistic and perfect for this series.

The abused becomes the abuser. But I'm still left with the feeling that at least together they have a better chance of working something out.

[deinonychus_1]

I remember everyone's reactions when Telperion posted the not very happy ending for her Victorian AU series, so I was dithering for ages over this fic. I kow a lot of people have been commenting that they wanted Becker to stop Cutter from hurting Connor, but that was never on the cards to be honest.

The abused becomes the abuser

Yep, that phrase kept going round in my head all the time I've been writing this series. And despite Becker's good intentions there's really not a lot he can do at this stage.

[sunsets_dinos]

I. Love. You. *pounces* *kisses* *cuddles* Um... sorry... *picks you up, dusts you down* *clears throat

[deinonychus_1]

wow, that was some reaction! I'm very glad you liked it, and it was a nice distraction from studying for you.

I'm of course an epic angst whore.

Me too! Becker needed to have a reason why he let Connor get away with what he was doing, and the fact that no one wants him around in the work context was the obvious reason. I could really see Becker getting frustrated by constantly being sidelined, so being with Connor offers him the oportunity to actually do something useful (as well as the fact that for some reason he's actually attracted to Connor as well).

LOL, re the ending. I was totally trying to lull you into a false sense of fluffiness before that bit at the end *evil grin*

[sunsets_dinos]

I agree, I think there was such a possibility with him being a sort of replacement for both Ryan and Stephen. I mean, hello, but no one reacted to that they just seem to ignore whatever he says. His cute bickering with Connor is nice (reminds me tiny bit of the hospital scene between Connor and Stephen), and I think he enjoyed the whole Connor's army thing because it felt like being part of the team. I love speculating how the ghosts of Ryan and Stephen might affect the poor boy.

And once again Yay for the angst. Don't you ever worry about writing angst, I can squeee so loud that you won't notice any potential complaints. :)

[bigtitch]

That's a fab and darkly real end to this.
*shivers*

[deinonychus_1]

dark, nasty and scarily inevitable. Glad you liked.

[telperion_15]

*meeps*

Not very happy, but a very realistic feeling ending. Sometimes you just have to write what is right for the story, even if it desn't end in flowers and fluffy bunnies.

The moment where you suddenly realise that Connor has been doing the same to Bekcer as Cutter was doing to him is very powerful because I honestly hadn't quite realised that, being swept up in the story, so it really packs a punch... *meeps more*

[deinonychus_1]

The moment where you suddenly realise that Connor has been doing the same to Bekcer as Cutter was doing to him is very powerful because I honestly hadn't quite realised that, being swept up in the story, so it really packs a punch...

I'm so glad you said that, because that was the bit that I was really unsure about, whether it was telegraphing too early, or whether it needed to be more blatant at the end. Poor Becker. Poor Connor as well, for that matter.

I think it would have felt wrong to give this series a happy fluffy ending, even though my normal inclination is for a positive ending in some way, even if not completely happy.

[telperion_15]

I think it would have felt wrong to give this series a happy fluffy ending, even though my normal inclination is for a positive ending in some way, even if not completely happy.

I think you already pointed out somewhere above the relevant recent example from my catalogue! Sometimes you just gotta do what the bunnies demand you gotta do... No matter how much it may hurt... There's still a small part of me that wants to make LoTM All Better... *g*