Havvy Watches Things: Teen Wolf Pilot
In light of everyone I know gushing over this newfangled who-dad called "TEEN WOLF," I figured that probably I should stop being cranky about stuff and maybe try watching it before continuing to complain that everyone's jumping fandom-ship and swimming on over there. Here's my thoughts and things, thurr be spoilers ahead.
So, going into this, I have absolutely no clue about anything. Here's what I know that I've gleaned from Tumblr: Derek and Stiles are dating. If you disagree with this fact, everyone hates you, therefore it must be true. There's some girl named Lydia who has way better hair than I could ever hope to achieve. Aaaaaaaaand werewolves. Alright. That's all I got! On to the show!
My thoughts written LIVE! *oooh, shiny!*
Nice parallel we've got going on here. Epic crime scene from - I'm assuming a werewolf attack! - and some guy doing his best impersonation of the soulless!Sam workout scene from Supernatural.
Ha, Stiles is kind of adorable. In a very bb kind of way. Although, like, seriously, half a dead person does not sound like a good time. Boys, I suggest you stay ho - oh, nope. We're going to the Beacon Hills Preserve. "No Entry After Dark," well that sounds inviting.
This is the part where they die and we cut to Sam and Dean in some crap-ass diner, right? (Sorry, sorry.)
Congratulations, Scott. Whose name I just learned, though we're like eight minutes into the episode. Now you have to wander the woods alone aimlessly in what appears to be the wrong direction. I hope you meet a werewolf and we get this ball rolling, h'okay?
OMG CRAPPY CGI DEER.
Haha, you had me for a minute there, show. There was almost pee.
Ewww, half a body is about as gross as I thought it would be. Pretty gross. You probably shouldn't wander the woods looking for that kind of stuff.
OMG A CRAPPY CGI WEREWOLF! YESSSSSSSSSS.
Oh, he's been bitten. You're fucked, dude. Prepare for an exciting life of chasing cars, clogging your shower drain with copious amounts of hair and dodging silver bullets to the best of your abilities.
Is this supposed to be the 90's? It looks like the 90's.
Hang on. There are no wolves in California? This is supposed to be California? This requires a moment of research. Bear with me.
... alright, so, as a former film student (and now film-maker) I can tell you that California as represented on screen is, as we all know, usually warm and happy. Because: California. Now, my mom's from Monterey, and I know that northern California can be forest-y and cliff-y and even cold in the winter. But while Teen Wolf is shot digitally on the Arri Alexa, it looks like they're trying to make it look more like 35mm film. Which, for those playing along at home, is what the first couple of seasons of Supernatural were filmed on. To make the show look dark and scary and stuff.
Anyway, dark and scary works, I guess. But my point is, oh hey, I didn't know it was California.
Oh, and my other point: apparently there is ONE wolf in California. So there.
... okay, back to the show. Damn, Lydia has nice hair.
lol, what high school teacher openly talks about bodies found in the woods? (None.)
Damn, this new girl has nice hair, too. I wish I had nice hair.
And now we get the "Teen" part of Teen Wolf. Blah blah, popular people. Blah blah, party this weekend. Blah blah, will I make first string on the school lacrosse team? This is really why I didn't want to watch this. Blah blah, teens.
Why can't this be "Twenty-Something Wolf?"
As a former lacrosse coach, I'm just going to pretend this whole lacrosse sequence never happened. Not that there's anything super wrong with it, except that, enh.
Omg, this guy is totally a werewolf tho, right? Lydia's boyfriend man? I hope so.
Oh good, they're going back for the rest of the body. Instead of like, I dunno, alerting the authorities so that this poor girl can be properly laid to rest and her grieving family given some closure in regards to her death. Orrrrr, they could wander the woods and talk about ploooooOoooOooot thinggggggsssssss. I'm nit-picking, whatever. They're teens and boys and those two things equal dumb.
OH MAH GOOODDDDDD. It's Derek from Sterek! He's a wolf. Omg, I can SEE the love just POURING OUT OF HIS EYEBALLS.
Awww, bb's family burned to death in a fire. :( (or did he EAT THEM?)
So far, about halfway through the episode, I'm seeing an awful lot of what I expected to. There's teenager-type things, someone's turning into a werewolf and he doesn't really understand what's happening to him. There's nothing wrong with it or anything, pretty much on the nose for a teen-oriented series about werewolves. I can see where the fic and stuff comes from. One scene of Stiles and Derek and it sort of makes sense that there's shipping, they're pretty trope-y.
Aww, Scott and Allison? are bonding. Look, a romance. I bet it turns into a triangle further down the line. Probably with Lydia.
In the crappy online version of this that I'm watching, it looks like Scott's got no nipples when he flops onto the bed. Haha. No nipples... but he's got nipples now in this forest scene where I assume he transformed and went after someone. Good thing he's still got his boxers on, though. That's important.
"Oh, you mean STEROIDS!" :|
I definitely feel like they're only playing lacrosse because football is cliche. Which, okay, cool, kudos for that. I guess.
This reminds me of that scene from Twilight. You know, where EVERYONE in the audience knows that Edward's a friggin' vampire and Bella's doing all that research like, "well, he drinks blood and he's pale and stuff, so like, whatever could that beee?" Except here it's werewolves.
"Are you seriously wasting my time with this?" <-- Scott on Stiles' suggestion he's a werewolf.
"Are you seriously wasting my time with this?" <-- Me on the ten minutes spent watching people argue about whether werewolves are real or not. We know they are, the show's Teen Wolf, it's about werewolves. Got it. Move it along.
Blah blah, I'm a mom. Blah blah, you're a teenager. And now a party!
Lydia's watching him dance with Allison. Yes, I smell a love triangle.
Uh oh. Full moon. He's at a party! And transfoooorrrrminggggg. SCOTTOBOT, ROLL OUT. I enjoy their use of jump cuts to highlight the unbalanced way he's currently feeling.
Yeaaaah, look at that half-wolf man leap from buildings in a single bound. He's gonna rescue his WOMAN, y'all!
Yo, Stiles, why wouldn't you just be like, "Hi, is your daughter here?"
Ooh, werewolf hunters. Or werewolves, who are hunters. I guess either way they would be "werewolf hunters." Except I think that's Stiles' dad. (Shows how closely I've been paying attention, right?) Oh, okay, just hunters. Of werewolves.
Right, so Derek was just like, lonely, so he bit Scott and now they're brothers. That's how it works, seems legit.
Welp, Stiles is sweet.
Oh, shit son, his girlfriend's dad is the hunter. Sooooo soooo awk.
Anyway, overall, it's like, not atrocious or anything. So much as I wish it was faster and a little less teen. And there you have it, my real, actual thinky-thoughts as I watched the Teen Wolf pilot.
In other news, I have a shiny new Archive of Our Own account! And well, if you're looking at me here then you're not seeing anything that's not over there. In fact, you're seeing a whole lot more! Like this post!
But anyway, I have one now. They hand out medals for that kind of thing, right?
So, going into this, I have absolutely no clue about anything. Here's what I know that I've gleaned from Tumblr: Derek and Stiles are dating. If you disagree with this fact, everyone hates you, therefore it must be true. There's some girl named Lydia who has way better hair than I could ever hope to achieve. Aaaaaaaaand werewolves. Alright. That's all I got! On to the show!
My thoughts written LIVE! *oooh, shiny!*
Nice parallel we've got going on here. Epic crime scene from - I'm assuming a werewolf attack! - and some guy doing his best impersonation of the soulless!Sam workout scene from Supernatural.
Ha, Stiles is kind of adorable. In a very bb kind of way. Although, like, seriously, half a dead person does not sound like a good time. Boys, I suggest you stay ho - oh, nope. We're going to the Beacon Hills Preserve. "No Entry After Dark," well that sounds inviting.
This is the part where they die and we cut to Sam and Dean in some crap-ass diner, right? (Sorry, sorry.)
Congratulations, Scott. Whose name I just learned, though we're like eight minutes into the episode. Now you have to wander the woods alone aimlessly in what appears to be the wrong direction. I hope you meet a werewolf and we get this ball rolling, h'okay?
OMG CRAPPY CGI DEER.
Haha, you had me for a minute there, show. There was almost pee.
Ewww, half a body is about as gross as I thought it would be. Pretty gross. You probably shouldn't wander the woods looking for that kind of stuff.
OMG A CRAPPY CGI WEREWOLF! YESSSSSSSSSS.
Oh, he's been bitten. You're fucked, dude. Prepare for an exciting life of chasing cars, clogging your shower drain with copious amounts of hair and dodging silver bullets to the best of your abilities.
Is this supposed to be the 90's? It looks like the 90's.
Hang on. There are no wolves in California? This is supposed to be California? This requires a moment of research. Bear with me.
... alright, so, as a former film student (and now film-maker) I can tell you that California as represented on screen is, as we all know, usually warm and happy. Because: California. Now, my mom's from Monterey, and I know that northern California can be forest-y and cliff-y and even cold in the winter. But while Teen Wolf is shot digitally on the Arri Alexa, it looks like they're trying to make it look more like 35mm film. Which, for those playing along at home, is what the first couple of seasons of Supernatural were filmed on. To make the show look dark and scary and stuff.
Anyway, dark and scary works, I guess. But my point is, oh hey, I didn't know it was California.
Oh, and my other point: apparently there is ONE wolf in California. So there.
... okay, back to the show. Damn, Lydia has nice hair.
lol, what high school teacher openly talks about bodies found in the woods? (None.)
Damn, this new girl has nice hair, too. I wish I had nice hair.
And now we get the "Teen" part of Teen Wolf. Blah blah, popular people. Blah blah, party this weekend. Blah blah, will I make first string on the school lacrosse team? This is really why I didn't want to watch this. Blah blah, teens.
Why can't this be "Twenty-Something Wolf?"
As a former lacrosse coach, I'm just going to pretend this whole lacrosse sequence never happened. Not that there's anything super wrong with it, except that, enh.
Omg, this guy is totally a werewolf tho, right? Lydia's boyfriend man? I hope so.
Oh good, they're going back for the rest of the body. Instead of like, I dunno, alerting the authorities so that this poor girl can be properly laid to rest and her grieving family given some closure in regards to her death. Orrrrr, they could wander the woods and talk about ploooooOoooOooot thinggggggsssssss. I'm nit-picking, whatever. They're teens and boys and those two things equal dumb.
OH MAH GOOODDDDDD. It's Derek from Sterek! He's a wolf. Omg, I can SEE the love just POURING OUT OF HIS EYEBALLS.
Awww, bb's family burned to death in a fire. :( (or did he EAT THEM?)
So far, about halfway through the episode, I'm seeing an awful lot of what I expected to. There's teenager-type things, someone's turning into a werewolf and he doesn't really understand what's happening to him. There's nothing wrong with it or anything, pretty much on the nose for a teen-oriented series about werewolves. I can see where the fic and stuff comes from. One scene of Stiles and Derek and it sort of makes sense that there's shipping, they're pretty trope-y.
Aww, Scott and Allison? are bonding. Look, a romance. I bet it turns into a triangle further down the line. Probably with Lydia.
In the crappy online version of this that I'm watching, it looks like Scott's got no nipples when he flops onto the bed. Haha. No nipples... but he's got nipples now in this forest scene where I assume he transformed and went after someone. Good thing he's still got his boxers on, though. That's important.
"Oh, you mean STEROIDS!" :|
I definitely feel like they're only playing lacrosse because football is cliche. Which, okay, cool, kudos for that. I guess.
This reminds me of that scene from Twilight. You know, where EVERYONE in the audience knows that Edward's a friggin' vampire and Bella's doing all that research like, "well, he drinks blood and he's pale and stuff, so like, whatever could that beee?" Except here it's werewolves.
"Are you seriously wasting my time with this?" <-- Scott on Stiles' suggestion he's a werewolf.
"Are you seriously wasting my time with this?" <-- Me on the ten minutes spent watching people argue about whether werewolves are real or not. We know they are, the show's Teen Wolf, it's about werewolves. Got it. Move it along.
Blah blah, I'm a mom. Blah blah, you're a teenager. And now a party!
Lydia's watching him dance with Allison. Yes, I smell a love triangle.
Uh oh. Full moon. He's at a party! And transfoooorrrrminggggg. SCOTTOBOT, ROLL OUT. I enjoy their use of jump cuts to highlight the unbalanced way he's currently feeling.
Yeaaaah, look at that half-wolf man leap from buildings in a single bound. He's gonna rescue his WOMAN, y'all!
Yo, Stiles, why wouldn't you just be like, "Hi, is your daughter here?"
Ooh, werewolf hunters. Or werewolves, who are hunters. I guess either way they would be "werewolf hunters." Except I think that's Stiles' dad. (Shows how closely I've been paying attention, right?) Oh, okay, just hunters. Of werewolves.
Right, so Derek was just like, lonely, so he bit Scott and now they're brothers. That's how it works, seems legit.
Welp, Stiles is sweet.
Oh, shit son, his girlfriend's dad is the hunter. Sooooo soooo awk.
Anyway, overall, it's like, not atrocious or anything. So much as I wish it was faster and a little less teen. And there you have it, my real, actual thinky-thoughts as I watched the Teen Wolf pilot.
In other news, I have a shiny new Archive of Our Own account! And well, if you're looking at me here then you're not seeing anything that's not over there. In fact, you're seeing a whole lot more! Like this post!
But anyway, I have one now. They hand out medals for that kind of thing, right?