Hey look at me...I'm winking. ;)
Dear Friend;
Things are getting better.
I probably shouldn't be saying that out loud for fear of what might be said later, however, lately it feels fucking fantastic to not give anything to anyone. I am apathetic to a certain few that refuse to leave me alone. I would say the names, but it kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little, due to how sick it is. I feel sad mostly. My heart sinks. I would have never guessed, but then again...I guess I shut myself off, because I knew something was bound to go wrong. I was wrong about alot of things; thank you for making me see the errors, and for making me the fool. I could say now that I have lived, and died. Excellent. I am proper now. I have been hit, and thank God..I was wondering when my heart was going to break again. It keeps breaking actually, but you know...the more pain, the better things get. The better I feel. The stronger I get. The saner I become. Finished product, my friends are proud, my mother would be alright with it, my girlfriend is happy, and nothing can get to me. You know. It's not that things are getting better, it's just that nothing has gone wrong, and when they do, which all the time it seems, I'm okay with it, and I handle myself the way I need to handle myself as to not make anything bigger than it already is. I hope you understand all of that.
I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm okay, and if I never write again, understand that I am well, and I will believe, and trust the same is for you.
Love always,
Brett
Things are getting better.
I probably shouldn't be saying that out loud for fear of what might be said later, however, lately it feels fucking fantastic to not give anything to anyone. I am apathetic to a certain few that refuse to leave me alone. I would say the names, but it kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little, due to how sick it is. I feel sad mostly. My heart sinks. I would have never guessed, but then again...I guess I shut myself off, because I knew something was bound to go wrong. I was wrong about alot of things; thank you for making me see the errors, and for making me the fool. I could say now that I have lived, and died. Excellent. I am proper now. I have been hit, and thank God..I was wondering when my heart was going to break again. It keeps breaking actually, but you know...the more pain, the better things get. The better I feel. The stronger I get. The saner I become. Finished product, my friends are proud, my mother would be alright with it, my girlfriend is happy, and nothing can get to me. You know. It's not that things are getting better, it's just that nothing has gone wrong, and when they do, which all the time it seems, I'm okay with it, and I handle myself the way I need to handle myself as to not make anything bigger than it already is. I hope you understand all of that.
I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm okay, and if I never write again, understand that I am well, and I will believe, and trust the same is for you.
Love always,
Brett