"im down shouting names at the flickerless screen, going fucking insane"
all i can think about this week is leaving. even if its for only a day, i just want miles of distance between me and this awful place. i have my show ticket and i have my bus ticket. i want to pick up a book before i go too. with any luck though, i might be able to sleep more than a few hours. for the last couple of weeks a few hours has been all ive been getting when i have been able to sleep. its been coming and going for a while, and i thought it was getting a little better, but then everything just takes a 180. i thought about all the silly neurotic things ive been doing to help myself and i laughed. you dont think about it at the time, but when you stand up and look at everything its really funny in a strange way. i actually played out a scenario today on the train. your mind can really catch you off guard when you dont even have the energy to think...
next month im going to be forced to make a decision, and i think im going to the right thing(well, i differnt thing...) i really need to get out more, but life has been pretty uneventful. maybe tomorrow and next week will show me what im missing. i can think of a handful of ways i could benefit, but boredom isnt exactly all that stimulating. there are a few things id like to do this month, but i dont seem them happening.
oh the past. i was never meant for the present.
next month im going to be forced to make a decision, and i think im going to the right thing(well, i differnt thing...) i really need to get out more, but life has been pretty uneventful. maybe tomorrow and next week will show me what im missing. i can think of a handful of ways i could benefit, but boredom isnt exactly all that stimulating. there are a few things id like to do this month, but i dont seem them happening.
oh the past. i was never meant for the present.