...birthday
Well, it's my birthday. I'll be 25 years old at 22:30 tonight. I was happy leading up to today, making a big deal out of it, that is until I woke up around 6 or so. The house was empty, save for Brandy but I just wanted to let her sleep. Unfortunately, I started thinking and that's never a good thing.
25 years old. Still havn't amounted to much. Working a dead end job, no schooling in sight. All I have are my hobbies and they lose their luster once in awhile. I tend to think alot about stories that I have, that I know would make fun games, mostly my RPG and Sandbox style game that I have thought of. Still, why am I so depressed at the moment.
Maybe it's cause honestly I feel alone. There is hardly anyone to spend my birthday with. I know there is Brandy and she means everything to me it's just that maybe I just wanted to be like when I was younger.
Birthdays were a big deal, you always tried to invite all your friends and just have a fun time. Of the closed friends I had in highschool and around that time frame, one moved away, 2 don't keep in touch, I outgrew one, and the last betrayed me. And my family?....
My sister can't show up or if she does will pop in and leave to enjoy her days off of work. Brother is in Chicogo having his own life, My mother is taking some time to herself in Wisconsin to take her mind off of her troubles. My father is a 3 year old.
I don't really have the cash to treat myself to something nice. There is nothing to really enjoy the day like I used to. So here I sit, in my own making, kinda just wishing I had someone to talk too. Just sitting remembering, old friends, my old dog, sugar (god I miss her) old birthdays. I havn't felt this alone since my 15th birthday. Where only my mother saw me and wished me happy birthday. Same situation except it's my girlfriend instead of my mother.
The day is still kinda young and I know alot could happen, but it hasn't started out right so far. I honestly don't see it getting any better.
25 years old. Still havn't amounted to much. Working a dead end job, no schooling in sight. All I have are my hobbies and they lose their luster once in awhile. I tend to think alot about stories that I have, that I know would make fun games, mostly my RPG and Sandbox style game that I have thought of. Still, why am I so depressed at the moment.
Maybe it's cause honestly I feel alone. There is hardly anyone to spend my birthday with. I know there is Brandy and she means everything to me it's just that maybe I just wanted to be like when I was younger.
Birthdays were a big deal, you always tried to invite all your friends and just have a fun time. Of the closed friends I had in highschool and around that time frame, one moved away, 2 don't keep in touch, I outgrew one, and the last betrayed me. And my family?....
My sister can't show up or if she does will pop in and leave to enjoy her days off of work. Brother is in Chicogo having his own life, My mother is taking some time to herself in Wisconsin to take her mind off of her troubles. My father is a 3 year old.
I don't really have the cash to treat myself to something nice. There is nothing to really enjoy the day like I used to. So here I sit, in my own making, kinda just wishing I had someone to talk too. Just sitting remembering, old friends, my old dog, sugar (god I miss her) old birthdays. I havn't felt this alone since my 15th birthday. Where only my mother saw me and wished me happy birthday. Same situation except it's my girlfriend instead of my mother.
The day is still kinda young and I know alot could happen, but it hasn't started out right so far. I honestly don't see it getting any better.