(no subject)
Well, I didn't get Wolf Trap. I mean, I haven't officially been told that, but I know of 3 people who got email offers today so.. that's that. It was basically my last option for the summer, so I kind of literally sobbed about it.. which is so childish, but I was crushed. I don't know. I guess I should know that I'm young and I have a lot of work to do and I have time until I really need to question my chosen profession. But I'm still completely questioning whether or not I actually have career potential. I feel like someone with career potential wouldn't have gone 0/6 this audition season. There was also a lot of pressure this season because I'm taking next summer off to get married. Now I will go through grad school without doing a single summer program. That's going to look SO fantastic on my resume. And this particular rejection stings even more because I personally know 2 other people who did get offers, and one of them is a recurring figure who always seems to beat me at life. It's like she's on the right track and I'm on some weird detour.
I'm trying to tell myself that I got a Music Academy callback and I was a finalist for Wolf Trap, so I'm headed in the right direction but I have a lot of work to do. Maybe that's true. I don't know. I'm just having trouble silencing that nagging voice in my head that keeps saying I wasted my education and should quit before I waste more of my life on this.
My heart hurts a little but that's how it goes. Next question: what the hell am I going to do this summer??
I'm trying to tell myself that I got a Music Academy callback and I was a finalist for Wolf Trap, so I'm headed in the right direction but I have a lot of work to do. Maybe that's true. I don't know. I'm just having trouble silencing that nagging voice in my head that keeps saying I wasted my education and should quit before I waste more of my life on this.
My heart hurts a little but that's how it goes. Next question: what the hell am I going to do this summer??