(no subject)
Title: Broken Everything
Author: defy_darkness
Rating: Ah, R-ish, language, sexual content
Pairing: Benji/Tony storyline
Disclaimer; Don't own, don't know, never happened
Note: Thanks to a wicked ass storm that killed out electricity all friggin day, I decided to write, and out this came. Cross posted.
Summary: I never write one but I like this line....
You’re both climaxing, swearing in between pants and thrusts fucking your way to ecstasy. I can hear the clapping of flesh against flesh. I don’t know if that should turn me on or make me cringe in disgust.
Read and let me know what you think please. You guys rock. And on with the show....
The power had been out for hours. The wind blasted past my window creating a high pitched screech. For once I had a reason why I was thinking of you; I had nothing better to do. It’s nearly 1am and you’re still not home. I knew that I could expect you around the same time as all the other nights, shortly after 2am with a new girl on your arm. Every other night it was someone new; you have yet to return with the same woman twice. I wondered what she would like tonight.
I always made it a point to stay up and wait for your safe return home and to see who ‘she’ is. I wondered where you could be the bars still can’t be open if there’s no electricity. The dull candlelight flickers behind me as I stare at the street intently watching for you.
I really should tell people that I’m gay. I can only carry this burden around for so long. I’m scared shitless thinking you won’t understand and you’ll shut me out. The last thing that I’d ever want is to lose you. What would be the meaning of my existence if I didn’t have you? Even only if just as a friend.
I see two figures walking up the street. That must be you and ‘her.’ I squint trying to make out your face. The street is far too dark, but I’m sure that it’s you. Yes. You’ve just entered our lobby; I can expect you any second now.
I move from the seat by the window and lay on the long sofa trying to act like I haven’t been waiting up for you like a crazed housewife waiting to bust her husband after a night at the titty bars. I hear your key slip in the door and Cash wakes suddenly to stare at the door. You fumbled with the lock, cussing and swearing at it as usual, before pushing it wide open and giving me a drunken
“Honey…I’m home!”
I peer over the couch and stare at you.
“Hey.”
I answer quietly. She’s very pretty. Long brown hair, big brown eyes, she looks Native American. She’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt that says “master” across the front of it. She’s not your usual big titted, blond, bimbo that you bring home. But, she is the prettiest of them all; I hate her already.
“Ah!!! Benji, this is Marie, Marie this is Benji.”
“Hi. Nice to meet you.” I say as politely as I can.
“Oh. It’s so nice to meet you. I love your band.” She says excitedly, I know she’s not just saying it to be polite. She holds out her hand as she steps closer to me. I shake it and say thank you.
“How’s the bar tonight?” I asked you, trying not to show my distaste for your daily flavour.
“It was ok. They kept the bar open for a little while after the power went out but kicked us to the curb about an hour ago.” you said as you moved around and sat on the couch at my feet.
“Where’s the bathroom Tony?” Marie asked quietly.
“Down the hall, second door on the left.” you said as you pointed her in the right direction. We both watched her leave and waited to her the bathroom door close before speaking again.
“Damn. She’s hot. Don’t you think?” you asked realizing that I’m not even slightly attracted to women.
“She’s pretty.” Is all I manage to spit out.
“You should see her dance man…I get a hard-on just thinking about it.” you say as you grab your dick over your pants and rub it a few times.
Fuck. Breathe Benji, breathe. I try to regain my composure after seeing that. I realized I was staring at your hard-on and looked up at you quickly to see if you noticed. You didn’t.
“What makes her so different then any of the other girls you bring home?” I asked with smatterings of jealousy in my voice.
You laugh before answering.
“She knows how to spell her name!”
I laugh and shake my head. The bathroom door opens and she emerges from the dark hallway. You get up and guide her to your room. You glance back at me and give me that Lavato devil grin and I know I can expect to go through what I do every time you bring someone home, pain.
I carry the candle to my room and place it on my nightstand. I take off my shirt and jeans and get ready for bed. I go to the bathroom, not caring that it was pitch black, and brush my teeth. My mouth burns from the peppermint toothpaste. As I’m about to go back to my room I noticed that you didn’t even bother to close your door properly, and you’ve managed to find a candle. The glowing slit, shoving candlelight out of it, calls me to it. I’ll hate myself for looking, but even more if I don’t.
I step around all the floorboards which I know squeak and approach your bedroom door. I can hear the heavy breathing and kissing sounds as I get closer. From this distance I can only make out legs. I manage to get to the door without being heard and I hold my breath as I manoeuvre around to see what’s going on. I see a pile of clothes on the floor at the foot of the bed and I see the two of you.
You two are a mass of writhing nakedness sliding all over each other. You’ve got her propped against the headboard and you’re kneeling in between her legs. You kiss her aggressively before sliding your hand down her body, stopping only to massage her breast before sliding it out of my sight, between her legs. I can’t see what you’ve just done but the way she just squirmed and moaned was all the evidence I needed that you just slid your fingers in.
I felt extremely nauseous. There you are, the man I love, sticking your fingers in her, making her moan. I stand there telling myself to look away, but I can’t. The tears cloud my vision, but I fight through them. My jealousy is skyrocketing with every moan, pant and groan you make her squeeze out. This is what my love for you has reduced me to, a pathetic peeping tom crying at the sight of his true love finger fucking a woman.
She pulls you up and kisses you. I can see your tongues glistening from here. I’m going to wretch! She lays you down and crawls between your legs. I can see how hard you are from my vantage point. She slides you in and out of her mouth professionally. DIRTY WHORE! Your chest rises and falls sporadically and fast. You grab the bedspread as you begin to thrust your hips and moan increasingly louder.
I can’t take my eyes off of you. You’re so sexy. You body is slick with sweat, making your beautiful tattoos appear more colourful than they usually are. Your forearms are shaking as you try to keep from climaxing. Your heavy breathing, moaning and groaning are turning me into a horny, horny beast. You are the sexiest thing I have ever seen.
I reach down and pull my boxers away from my body to ease the friction. I hate her so much for being the one to please you like that. I want to be the one you moan for. I want you to say my name in between the “fuck yeah’s” you groan while getting head. I want you so bad Tony.
I go back to my room and shut the door. I can still hear everything though, our walls are paper thin and our beds touch the same wall. I lay down with a huge hard-on in my boxers, trying not to touch myself. I hate myself; I disgust myself when I masturbate to the sound of you fucking someone else.
The familiar sound of your bed springs begins to get louder and the headboard starts to hit the wall we share. Rhythmically picking up, slow at first then fast, slow then fast. You find your groove and there’s a steady beat against my wall for a good 25 minutes, stopping only a few times to change positions I assume. Your grunts and “fuck yeah’s” start to get louder. I hear the moaning getting louder and closer in between. You asshole, you don’t even try to be quiet for my sake.
My cock is throbbing, imagining you moaning in my ear as you pump in and out of me. I still won’t touch myself; I can’t let you win this sick game you never even knew you were playing with me. You’re both climaxing, swearing in between pants and thrusts fucking your way to ecstasy. I can hear the clapping of flesh against flesh. I don’t know if that should turn me on or make me cringe in disgust. A few final thrusts and I hear you let out a long moan leaving me to assume that you just came in her. Fucking lucky bitch.
No sooner than 10 minutes later I can hear her leave. You go into the bathroom, I’m guessing to clean yourself up, and you knock on my door when you come out.
“Yeah?” I say as you open my door, not bothering to roll over and look at you.
“Still awake?” You ask.
“Kinda hard to sleep with the two of you going at it like that.” I tell you with my back still to you, you might see the pain in my eyes if I look at you right now.
“Shit. Sorry.” You say before making your way to my bed and collapsing on it in exhaustion.
I can smell your sweat. It makes my mouth water.
“No worries. I hear it every other night.” I say looking at you half naked body in amazement. You keep your eyes shut and say to me
“You’re the best Benji.” I don’t say anything and let you fall asleep on my bed with a million questions running through my head.
What the fuck does that mean? I can feel a completely puzzled look wipe across my face as I try to figure out what you mean by that.
All I want to do is just tell you how much I love you and how long I’ve loved you. I’m always thinking about the non-existent “us.” Our dates. Our movie nights at home. Our long walks through the streets. Our hand holding in public. Our kisses. Our hugs. Our love making. And just our being.
All I get from you is a ‘you’re the best Benji.’ That’s supposed to undo all the pain you’ve created night after night with girl after girl? I’m sorry, that’s just not good enough. That’s not even fair.
I love you Tony, but you’ve ruined my life. I’ll never be able to love another as much as I love you right now, which utterly confuses me because I’ve never been so angry with you. I love you even through all the broken fantasies; broken promises; broken life; broken friendship; broken dreams; broken everything. You broke my world apart the day I met you. You ruined me. You’re my world’s glue Tony, when are you going to put me back together? Whenever you finally decide to fix me, make sure you piece my heart back together first, because you’ve broken that too. I pinched the candle wick with my finger extinguishing another night of pain and misery brought on by loving you.