-Ain't Nuttin' To It But T' Do It-
Yes, I'm back... and Better than ever, boys/girls/Hermaphrodites. So, bring yer friends, ya friends' friends, they mammas, uncles twice-removed... fuck it, let everybody know, and "lean back.. lean back.. lean back.. 'cause he's back."
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*It’s no secret that we all have our problems when it comes to dealing with and impressing the opposite sex. Sometimes, we need to rely on a few natural qualities to push us along the path of romantic evolution, such as humor, flattery, and our intriguing personalities. So, if you’re a little desperate, or if you simply want to try your luck with a deck of hearts, then give it up for the “pick-ups.”*
1. If you’re one for conversation and dry humor, this may be the best route for you to go, because, even if you don’t get the guy/girl, at least you got a laugh.
Ø Fellas: Did it hurt?
Ø Woman: Did what hurt?
Ø Fellas: When you fell from Heaven… Hallelujah!!
2. I heard a cop use this one once on a friend ‘o’ mine- I chuckled, which was followed by a very disturbing silence.
Ø “Are you a parking ticket ‘cause you got FINE written all over you?!”
3. Apparently, this one had the most success with the women, especially, so next time you’re feeling suave, fellas, give it a test run.
Ø “The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.”
4. It worked… that is all I have to say… I.T. W.O.R.K.E.D.
Ø “Are you from Tennessee ‘cause you’re the only ‘ten I see’?!”
5. It’s kind of ironic. Most people don’t get this one, but they’re always flattered in the process. How does that work?
Ø “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.”
6. CAUTION: Handle with extreme care.
Ø “You are a tall glass of water, and I’m tellin’ you straight up... I’m thirsty.”
7. Chances are that if you didn’t catch his/her eye the first time, you may not want to intrude on their peripheral vision the next time, ok?
Ø “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
8. This can’t possibly work for anyone other than bookworms and geniuses.
Ø “Did you bring your library card with you? ‘Cause I’m checkin’ you out.”
9. Well… I… I don’t know ‘bout this one, man, but, hey, it’s your reputation on the line, not mine.
Ø “Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.”
10. If, and when, you decide to use this and he/she asks you how you know what a Pokemon is, just tell him/her that you have a brother and save yourself the embarrassing glares, please.
Ø “Y’know, You remind me of Pokemon, ‘cause I just wanna piccachu.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*It’s no secret that we all have our problems when it comes to dealing with and impressing the opposite sex. Sometimes, we need to rely on a few natural qualities to push us along the path of romantic evolution, such as humor, flattery, and our intriguing personalities. So, if you’re a little desperate, or if you simply want to try your luck with a deck of hearts, then give it up for the “pick-ups.”*
1. If you’re one for conversation and dry humor, this may be the best route for you to go, because, even if you don’t get the guy/girl, at least you got a laugh.
Ø Fellas: Did it hurt?
Ø Woman: Did what hurt?
Ø Fellas: When you fell from Heaven… Hallelujah!!
2. I heard a cop use this one once on a friend ‘o’ mine- I chuckled, which was followed by a very disturbing silence.
Ø “Are you a parking ticket ‘cause you got FINE written all over you?!”
3. Apparently, this one had the most success with the women, especially, so next time you’re feeling suave, fellas, give it a test run.
Ø “The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.”
4. It worked… that is all I have to say… I.T. W.O.R.K.E.D.
Ø “Are you from Tennessee ‘cause you’re the only ‘ten I see’?!”
5. It’s kind of ironic. Most people don’t get this one, but they’re always flattered in the process. How does that work?
Ø “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.”
6. CAUTION: Handle with extreme care.
Ø “You are a tall glass of water, and I’m tellin’ you straight up... I’m thirsty.”
7. Chances are that if you didn’t catch his/her eye the first time, you may not want to intrude on their peripheral vision the next time, ok?
Ø “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
8. This can’t possibly work for anyone other than bookworms and geniuses.
Ø “Did you bring your library card with you? ‘Cause I’m checkin’ you out.”
9. Well… I… I don’t know ‘bout this one, man, but, hey, it’s your reputation on the line, not mine.
Ø “Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.”
10. If, and when, you decide to use this and he/she asks you how you know what a Pokemon is, just tell him/her that you have a brother and save yourself the embarrassing glares, please.
Ø “Y’know, You remind me of Pokemon, ‘cause I just wanna piccachu.”