Aug 19, 2003 11:10
I got back from vermont at 7ish yesterday and oh man, i wish i was back. I think i cried a lot at the airport, and it was defiently the hardest to leave chris this time. I just didn't want to go, i wanted to just walk away from the airport, back to his car and go to his house and cuddle till the days end. But, as we all know, that isn't possible and it hurts so badly. Im realizing that this is how it is when you date someone long distance, that its a lot of pain while you are gone, but so much love when you are there. And if i do go to UVM or saint mike's ill be there with him every day in only about a year. So if i can hold out, and i know i can, all will be well. Just i love this kid so much. I can't even explain how much this love is. It numbs my body and confuses me, and blows me away. to be held in his arms at night while i sleep is so amazing. the simple thing like holding hands while he drives just makes me soooo happy. i really didn't think i was going to cry this time. I was sooo strong and ok, until we got into the airport parking lot. Then it all just came loose. While waiting for the check in to go to the gate (which i postponed for a really long time) you could tell he was gonna cry. Chris even did a little... but i was all tears. Oh my lord. That pain i felt there, just even proved more so how much more i love this boy. Im getting married to him. How fucking sick is that?? this is the man im marrying... i will be standing at an alter with him, saying vowes and in a big fluffy wedding dress! *lets make the whole wedding fluffy chris, please?* Jeeze, i dont eevn know what to write, cause he makes me so bubbly, and fluffy, and greattttt.... so while i comprehend all my feelings i'll give the run down of what happened...
Thursday: I get to vermont in the early moment and i get a kiss and a hug from my bubula... oh man, so needed... we went out to sneekers for breakfest, and then went back to his house and dropped my stuff off. Then i was introduced to the house mates (i think this how it all went) and then went fish shopping :) :) :) came back, put the fishes in, and waited for a while... snuggledddd etc... and then we all watched cnn cause of the black out... then we went out to a mexican place for dinner, and i enjoyed it greatly, cause i was there with my loveeeee... and we watched finding nemooooo and then other stuff happened, and its all blurred so i cant write it alll...
Friday: we woke up, ate breakfest, and then got ready for montreal basically... we picked up tim and it was errr intresting but i got to see NEMO! (tims clownfish) and then we were on the way to montreal basically... at the border they weren't gonna let us through cause i was a minor and didn't have a note from a parent... it was silly! we get to montreal, check into the hotel room which was BEAUTIFUL, and then we decided to get food and beer before the radiohoead show.... we got food, went back and ate, chilled, drank, etc... then we went to montreal's subway which was cracked out and headed to see radiohead. The show was so fucking amazing, but i was a lil sick to my stomach and had to sit down *chris im sorry you couldn't be that close, and you had to stay with me... i love you and thank you for sticking by me through the night* Chris was so fucking happy i could tell, he was like in dream land and it was so awesome to see my baby so happy. the show ended, we went back the hotel and i wasn't feeling well to go bar hopping so we drank some more, ate some more, and ordered porn lol... me and chris went into the master bedroom (tim slept in the pull out bed in the LIVING ROOM!) and it was very fun. I kept chris up much longer than expected, and i think i was too horny and all... it was great though!
Saturday: we woke up, chilled out, went downstairs to the breakfest and ate (me and chris only) and then went back to the room, and got ready to check out. We then headed down to old montreal and went to this BEAUTIFUL famous church (the norte dame) and i cried at one point was it was so beautiful and i lit a candle and prayed about everything. It was beautiful. We went out to lunch and headed back to the US. We bought so much candy oh my lord it was so crazy and cute. We got back to vermont and dropped tim off. Then, we went back to his house,a nd no one was home at all. It was wonderful. We went out to one of the beautiful UVM buildings and climbed four stories up on the fire esacpe and watched the sunset. I was scared shitless of falling, but hugging and kissing, and talking to chris while watching this extrodinary sunset over the water and mountains was beyond anything i could think of. We stayed up there a good hour or so, and then went down to the house and walked around burlington. We went back chilled, cuddled, and then ordered in and just ate and chilled. Lovely....
Sunday- Woke up early cause we were maybe going to go hiking, but again i screwed it up and was too sick/weak/tired and we then just drove around vermont for a good three hours, and it was soo amazing.... we went to sketchy yard sales haha... *chris, that family was tooo crazy* we went to the fish store again, and went to st. micheals to see the campus (and it was beautiful) , walked around chruch street and i bought som stuff :)and went out to kotos (amazinggggggggg time... so crazy lovely, sick) Then we went down to the waterfront and lots of fun stuff happened :) :) :) BOB MARLEY BABY :)
Monday- woke up, went to breakfest, Church street and i bought my birkenstocks!, then the state park chris use to work at, then bowling (LOL) and it was too pathetic, we sucked so badly. We then went to the airport and i cried and cried and cried and cried. It was so hard to leave......
So... awesome time, atleast to me. I fell so much deeper in love with chris, and it baffles me. i cant wait till i can see him every day. Until then its visits and lots of phone calls. I'll write more later about this issue. I still need to find proper words to express my love for him...