the adult life
Now that I've officially started my job hunt, I feel as though I've jeopordized my future by staying in Florida. I've limited myself to what Orlando has to offer not only in choices of jobs, but in the way of life.
Part of the problems is that I have so many grand schemes in my head that all want to play out at once. I could settle down in Oregon where the country is beautiful. I could join the Air Force and ensure myself a stable future. I could contact the Embassy and find out how to soak up some non-American culture while working abroad. I could find a college in a nothern town and suffer though a few years of frosty winters while I earn another degree. Hell, I could throw it all to the wind and join the Peace Corps just to have an no so easy way to learn a new language. Or I could stay in Orlando where everything I know and love resides.
When I talk to my out of state friends, I feel that ping of jealousy and the little voice saying "that could be you." I know I have excellent reasons for sticking around, I just have to keep reminding myself of what they are. It's only for 2 years I tell everyone. But I'm afraid that I'll grow comfortable with the reliable lifestyle that Orlando has to offer and two years will turn into my future.
I know I'm only thinking of the negative, which comes very easy to me. Part of the problem is that I'm stuck in limbo at the moment. Degree in hand but relying on my parents for a roof over my head (and $20 handouts just to hang out with my friends). Hopefully once all the anxiety that comes with starting my adult life dies down, I'll be able to breathe a little easier about my decision. I just have to think of it as a car lease- in 2 years I can decide if I am happy with what I have or if it's time to trade up.
Part of the problems is that I have so many grand schemes in my head that all want to play out at once. I could settle down in Oregon where the country is beautiful. I could join the Air Force and ensure myself a stable future. I could contact the Embassy and find out how to soak up some non-American culture while working abroad. I could find a college in a nothern town and suffer though a few years of frosty winters while I earn another degree. Hell, I could throw it all to the wind and join the Peace Corps just to have an no so easy way to learn a new language. Or I could stay in Orlando where everything I know and love resides.
When I talk to my out of state friends, I feel that ping of jealousy and the little voice saying "that could be you." I know I have excellent reasons for sticking around, I just have to keep reminding myself of what they are. It's only for 2 years I tell everyone. But I'm afraid that I'll grow comfortable with the reliable lifestyle that Orlando has to offer and two years will turn into my future.
I know I'm only thinking of the negative, which comes very easy to me. Part of the problem is that I'm stuck in limbo at the moment. Degree in hand but relying on my parents for a roof over my head (and $20 handouts just to hang out with my friends). Hopefully once all the anxiety that comes with starting my adult life dies down, I'll be able to breathe a little easier about my decision. I just have to think of it as a car lease- in 2 years I can decide if I am happy with what I have or if it's time to trade up.