Cry, Cry, Cry Your Eyes Out

[deft912]

She's not going to leave her family. What you don't know is that her family abuses her. Her father has hit her more than once. If it wasn't for the help that was placed in front of her, the beatings may still be happening today. Five months she says. Five months she'll stay at her parent's house to smooth over a failed relationship. Her mother doesn't talk to her, her father treats her with fake respect. And she gives out a deadline, five months. I guess one couldn't really ask her to make a choice between a real life and what she has now. It's her life. It's her family. No one understands that she wants to try. No one. The ones closest to her only want her closer. They want to shelter her and try and bring her happiness. Who doesn't understand who? She would rather risk losing those who are closest to her by pushing them away than make a real decision. Those closest have to suffer and five months she says. When asked if she'll really leave in five months, she says maybe. Maybe in five months the ones closest won't be there anymore. They have lives too. They have wishes for happiness too. Five months is a long time to be miserable. Maybe they should just be there for her. Every step. Support her in her decision to make the world wait five months. To appease her family. Not to long ago there was a girl who was hit by a drunk driver. We lose things so easily. People cried when the light went out of her. Parts of them died with her. They all did their best to move on. Just not long ago she had plans for five months. Maybe five months never comes. Maybe five months gets lost somewhere. She'll make them wait five months. Promises of tomorrow are so easily broken. That it's hard to trust is understandable. Yet, putting trust in her should be easy, right? Just five months. Someday. Someday, it will all go away. Happiness will be a garauntee. Someone once wrote in a song that someday never comes. She said if we can't handle it to leave. And in five months she would risk losing everyone, including her family. In five months it is hard to imagine what you can miss out on. How hard it all must be. Five months is a lot of math. That's somewhere around 150 days. That's 3600 hours. Lonliness has a way of counting minutes and seconds as well. 21600 minutes and 12960000 seconds. Time is cruel. 150 days of crying. Happiness has no garauntee Ericka. What can be looked forward to is for me to cry, cry, cry, my eyes out. Cry, cry, your eyes out Jason.

I hate every moment that passes and treat every second with growing envy,
I hate myself for this. I make nothing better. I find no answers. I HATE...everything.
Oh fuck it.