(no subject)
I miss smiling to the point that my cheeks ache. It's time to stop dwelling on the bad and focus on what is good, because there are good things happening. I just have to believe they won't disappear on me. Optimism is key.
The wants on the list Grace inspired me to put together still apply. Lately I have not felt my best but that is slowly changing. I think my mood goes south when don't keep myself occupied or at least find myself in the presence of good company. Working and classes kept my mind off things before, and now I am finding it is easy to think too much on how I want or wanted things to be and be trapped in a negative mindset. Disappointment has pushed me into becoming a closed-off emotionless robot that doesn't care about anything anymore, and I would rather be going through many, many emotions rather than having none.
If anyone wants to assist me in reaching these goals, then they can come along or be left behind. I have recipies I want to bake, and would like people to enjoy them with. I will contact my old friends to see each other soon. I want to snag food samples from the Del Mar Fair. I want to go to more shows. I wish to see the Getty Museum and walk around its garden. I want to see more indie movies at the Landmark Theatres, as well as the summer action flicks. I want to go up Scripps Boulevard with Jon and look down on the lights as evening approaches. I want to join the masses at the Comic-Con with my partner-in-crime. I want to lay in the grass and have a picnic. I want to add more photos to my albums. I want to discover if I can still ride a bicycle. I want to go to Balboa Park on free Tuesdays and visit places I haven't been in years. I want good volunteer experiences at the Museum of Man and New Children's Museum. I want to be in high spirits and feel inspired. I want to feel the desire to make things again, whether it be making mix-cds for loved ones or writing letters. I want to to finish the gift for my boyfriend I have struggling with. I want to avoid as many family gatherings as possible.