(no subject)
"America is exactly like your friend in college who got all bombed on Jagermeister and Coors Lite at your New Year's party, poured beer on your cat, started feeling up your girlfriend, broke your guitar and ended up shitting in your bathtub and passing out with his dick in his hand, and then woke up the next morning saying "You know what? Sixty-two percent of me disapproves of my actions last night." And you were like "That's nice, but could you please clean the shit out of my bathtub, wash my cat, apologize to my girlfriend, fix my guitar and put your fucking dick away?" And he was like "Naw yo, I'm too hung over, I gotta roll out, peace."