What? How? When? HUH?
OK, almost a month ago, I met this guy and we've been hanging out A LOT (like, every 2 or 3 days) and a few days ago we were hanging out in my apartment playing wii bowling and I was drinking way too much vodka and we ended up making out. Yeah, OK, not anything unusual. Normally when alcohol gets involved, people do these things, but then he tells me he wants to date me.
As stupid as this probably was to say I was like, "what does that MEAN?"
Because as I'm sure most of you know, I haven't really ever "dated" someone. By this, I mean that I've never been in a relationship where when you meet people you say, "Hey, this is my boyfriend so and so..." I got sort of freaked out. Mostly because being in a relationship means that A) I will get hurt or B) I will have to hurt someone else.
But somewhere in the past few days after all this occurred, I finally convinced myself that I am only hurting myself by not even trying to be in a real relationship. Am I right? I don't know, but at some point last night when we were hanging out, I guess I agreed to try this whole relationship thing.
It's so weird. Like, I can't accept it in my head. I can't accept that if someone asks me if I'm single, I'll say "no"? I've never said no. I've always said yes. I have always been "single" and I am so freaking scared of being in a relationship it's not even funny. I mean, I like this guy a lot. He's funny. He's sweet (which is weird because most guys I sort of am with tend to be assholes). He's tall (like 6'4! I know!). He's creative. He seems grown up (he's 29 so I guess that might have something to do with it?) and not all about getting drunk or high all the time. He likes the outdoors. He likes me (I'm not sure why. I'm such a mental case). He seems to totally respect women. I don't know. Maybe he seems too perfect. Maybe that's why I'm freaking out. Like maybe he's really a serial killer. I guess he probably would have tried to kill me by now. He's had plenty of chances.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
This is all just weird to me.
On another note, I still don't have a decent job. Damn you economy! Damn you! *shakes fist*
As stupid as this probably was to say I was like, "what does that MEAN?"
Because as I'm sure most of you know, I haven't really ever "dated" someone. By this, I mean that I've never been in a relationship where when you meet people you say, "Hey, this is my boyfriend so and so..." I got sort of freaked out. Mostly because being in a relationship means that A) I will get hurt or B) I will have to hurt someone else.
But somewhere in the past few days after all this occurred, I finally convinced myself that I am only hurting myself by not even trying to be in a real relationship. Am I right? I don't know, but at some point last night when we were hanging out, I guess I agreed to try this whole relationship thing.
It's so weird. Like, I can't accept it in my head. I can't accept that if someone asks me if I'm single, I'll say "no"? I've never said no. I've always said yes. I have always been "single" and I am so freaking scared of being in a relationship it's not even funny. I mean, I like this guy a lot. He's funny. He's sweet (which is weird because most guys I sort of am with tend to be assholes). He's tall (like 6'4! I know!). He's creative. He seems grown up (he's 29 so I guess that might have something to do with it?) and not all about getting drunk or high all the time. He likes the outdoors. He likes me (I'm not sure why. I'm such a mental case). He seems to totally respect women. I don't know. Maybe he seems too perfect. Maybe that's why I'm freaking out. Like maybe he's really a serial killer. I guess he probably would have tried to kill me by now. He's had plenty of chances.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
This is all just weird to me.
On another note, I still don't have a decent job. Damn you economy! Damn you! *shakes fist*