I'm Loving Angels Instead (RPF Big Bang: Part III)

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i'm loving angels instead

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Part Three: Holier Than Thou

My life would suck without you. ~ Kelly Clarkson

April 2010

This had gone on long enough, and Shane was tired. So very tired.

There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think about Scottie, about what he’d done to him. He felt more bitter about that than anything. Even when he went down with his own injury during their playoff series with the Wings, he couldn’t feel as bad about it. If anything, he deserved the punishment. And maybe it literally was his punishment, placed on him from God himself. It was more likely than he would’ve liked to admit.

Life was like playing dominoes, where pushing down just one, the occurrence of a single event, would set off a chain reaction of falling pieces. Nobody realized that more than Shane Doan. And it seemed obvious to him that it was the night Matthew Lombardi went to Devils’, the same night Shane had kissed Ed, that led to the downward spiral he was currently on. A falling rollercoaster that didn’t appear to have any ending in sight.

He never would have guessed that this ride would lead to a first playoff round exit.

But life moved on, whether he wanted it to or not. Guys got over the loss in their own way, in their own time. There was nothing Shane could do for them anymore, besides offering a fake promise of ‘we’ll get it next year.’ It sounded false to his own ears. Hell, there might not even be a next year; not in Phoenix, anyway.

The pain didn’t really hit him until the time came for them to clean out their lockers. Suddenly it was like a punch to the gut, a realization that this was it. Their season was over. Finished. In fact, Shane’s season had already been over for several days, he just hadn’t known it yet.

Throughout it all, during those final days, Shane and Ed hardly talked. No matter how close they were, doing interview after repetitive interview practically side by side, it felt like Ed was a million miles away. Shane tried to break the ice, even going so far as to put his hand on Ed’s shoulder, asking if he was okay. Ed just shook him off, not saying a word.

He knew Ed was mad at him, but he hadn’t realized Ed was that angry.

Truthfully, he had counted on Ed to still be by his side, no matter what bullshit had gone down between them. That’s how it had always been. Ed acted tough, pretended like he was independent and didn’t need anyone else, but he always ended up following Shane around like a puppy.

Not anymore.

He had a feeling about why Ed was so incensed. Losing Scottie and not having him for the playoffs was bad enough; then Shane had to go and get himself injured in addition. Ed was forced to bear the leadership role for the team, a position he wasn’t overly comfortable with.

But mostly, Ed was probably just pissed at Shane. For everything. Not that Shane could blame him; he was equally angry with himself. He had failed, and he’d potentially ruined another man’s career in the process. What was he thinking?

He collapsed that day in the locker room. After all the reporters had left, and all the other guys had long ago packed up all of their things, he just fell on the bench. Put his head in hands, and silently sobbed.

After a few minutes of silent crying, he heard a voice. “Shane?” a tentative voice asked.

It was Pyatt. Taylor Pyatt. The last guy he expected to be standing there in front of him, watching as the tears came down his face, making him look like a blotchy, bumbling idiot.

“You gonna be okay?” Taylor asked, when Shane took too long to answer. Shane shook his head, wiping at his tear-stained face.

“I’ll be alright,” he finally answered. “How come you’re still here?” Shane asked, trying to keep any hint of irritation out of his tone. And he wasn’t annoyed, really. Having another teammate interrupt him provided a good distraction from dealing with his emotions.

Taylor gave a one-armed shrug, his equipment bag hanging on his opposite shoulder. “I forgot something. Something important.” Without saying another word, Taylor walked over to his old locker, grabbing a framed picture that had been left on the top shelf. He held it in two hands, wiping a thumb across the picture behind the glass. After a few seconds, he tilted it in Shane’s direction. It was a photo of Taylor with his late fiancée.

“I wanted to keep it up here, until the very last moment,” Taylor explained, though he didn’t need to. Shane understood completely.

“I know how much she meant to you,” Shane said. He didn’t think he was particularly good at this comforting others thing, but he would try his best.

“Yeah,” Taylor agreed, blinking a few times before placing the picture frame in the bag he carried on his shoulder. “I just like to know that I can keep her close, even if she’s gone. As long as I remember her…”

“Then she’ll never truly be gone,” Shane finished. “And I promise you, her soul always lives on.” Shane knew Taylor would think he was just spouting off some cliché bullshit, but he really meant it.

“I know,” Taylor said. He seemed to be okay, at least for now. Shane decided he would keep a more observing eye on him, to make sure that Taylor would be able to mourn and move on in peace. All it took was time, though the wounds would never truly heal.

“I hope you’re still around here next season,” Shane went on, inadvertently changing the subject. “So if you ever need anything, even just to talk, you can always come to me.”

“Thank you. It really means a lot,” he said, always a man of few words. Taylor turned around to leave Shane truly alone, but before he got out the door he stopped, turning his head back until he was looking right at his captain. “Have a good summer, Shane.”

And then he was gone.

+ - + - +

May 2010

Once the hockey season was well and truly over, Ed observed the other guys very carefully as they went on their trip to Las Vegas.

He didn’t go with them, no, he didn‘t dare do that. But he kept close tabs on their activities, through various informants around the city. And through stalking various Facebook accounts, mostly Paul Bisonnette’s. Ed wasn’t much of a computer wiz, but he learned as he went along, knowing how important it was.

What happened in Vegas usually stayed in Vegas, but it was up to Ed to make sure that it didn’t this time.

He had been so upset with Shane, he would do anything to get back at him. It was his idea to send Pyatt along with the others on Bissonnette’s sinful trip. Daniel Winnik. Sami Lepisto. Wojtek Wolski. And now Taylor.

He regretted it immediately afterwards. Even though it had been a year, Ed still remembered what Shane had said that night, about this not being a competition. And even though Shane decided to be a damn hypocrite and made it into a game by injuring Upshall (as revenge for Lombardi, he assumed), Ed had actually taken Shane’s words to heart.

If they each kept taking out their teammates like this, soon enough they wouldn’t have a team left to just play fucking hockey.

But once he had mentioned the trip to Taylor, he couldn’t take it back. Bissonnette was all over the idea, convincing Taylor that he should go. Ed was fucked. If Shane found out that Ed had anything to do with Pyatt’s downfall, he would kill him.

Luckily for Ed, he would be leaving for Florida soon, once his kids finished school. Kirstin was practically already packed, excitedly mentioning almost every day their return to their second home. She wanted to see her side of the family again, Ed got that. He wasn’t quite as thrilled, if only because Florida weather did not sound too appealing. Of course, it wouldn’t be that much better being in Arizona for the summer.

And on the upside, he’d be virtually on the other side of the planet from Shane Doan.

He needed some time on his own. Time to atone to God, before he approached Shane again. The next time he saw Shane, he promised to be a new man.

+ - + - +

Keith had been an angel for nine months (the same period of time it took to carry a baby, he thought amusedly), and truthfully he didn’t feel like much had changed.

He was still bombarded with making his final plans for the wedding. Still dealing with the early playoff exit. Still worried about the status of the team getting an owner and staying in Phoenix. Still.

One day that month, completely out of the blue, he got a call from the last person he expected. Matthew Lombardi.

Matt wouldn’t say much on the phone, just that he wanted to talk to somebody on the team, and couldn’t talk to Ed since he had already skipped town. Keith questioned why he didn’t want to talk to Scottie, making sure to emphasize that he didn’t have a problem talking to Matt. It was simply a little out of the ordinary, as they weren’t exactly the closest of friends.

“No, I need to talk to a neutral party about this,” Matt explained.

“All right then, let’s talk. I’m freaking Switzerland.”

They met at Keith’s place, which was really Derek Morris’ place, but whatever. Without preamble, Matt brought up the subject he wanted to discuss. Re-signing with the team.

“I think you should do it, for sure,” Keith was saying. “We’re going to be a damn good team this year.”

“Yeah, I know. But with all the uncertainty…”

“Dude, fuck that. Besides, we already signed your boyfriend for another year,” Keith let slip. “Why would you want to go anywhere else?”

Matt frowned, his face scrunching up in a way that Keith had never seen on him before. He was always smiling. Always happy. Keith was thrown off by his change in demeanor. Matt looked away, picking at the cuffs of his sleeves before speaking again.

“That’s the problem, he’ll still be here. And he’s not my boyfriend.”

Keith raised a questioning eyebrow at that. He was curious, and he always had to satiate his curiosity. “Whatever happened between you two? You know… that one night. At Devils’.”

“Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. We rented a private room, with one of those female dancers.”

“Did you…” Keith began cautiously, pausing mid-sentence. “Have sex with them?”

“I didn’t. Not intercourse. We fooled around, and Scottie had sex with that girl, but I left before it got that far.”

“Wow. So you really couldn’t close the deal?”

Matt looked back up, directly into his eyes, this time looking pissed as hell. The emotion passed quickly though, Matt’s expression becoming as blank as ever. Resolved.

“I knew it was wrong. I just couldn’t go through with it. I love Scottie, I do. But I love my wife and family more. I could never live with myself if I did something like that behind my wife‘s back.”

Keith remained as quiet as he’d ever been, amazed that Lombo would confide so much in him. His respect for the other man grew tenfold, just in those past few minutes. Temptation was everywhere for men like them. Not that it gave them an excuse, but it just made it even more impressive when one of them could resist.

“Well. That changes things,” Keith finally said.

“You better not breathe a word of that to anyone,” Matt said. Even though it wasn’t exactly a threat, Keith knew he meant it.

“Cross my heart,” Keith said, making the universal gesture for a promise. “I would just like you to know, I think you have saved your own soul.”

“What are you talking about?”

Keith shook his head, not wanting to elaborate. The whole thing was supposed to be a secret, after all.

“You’re a good man, is all. And for whatever it’s worth, I think you should stay in Phoenix. You’ve resisted Uppy before; you can definitely continue to do so.”

Matt was silent for a minute, looking pensive. Keith could think of no better word to describe it. “I’ll think about it,” he said. Matt stood up to leave, and Keith let him go, watching as he left through the front door.

Keith hoped he’d being seeing him again.

He wouldn’t be, he found out eventually.

+ - + - +

June 2010

“I heard about your deal,” Shane said as a way of greeting.

“Which one? The one with the Coyotes, or the deal with God?” Adrian asked with a grin.

Shane was meeting Adrian Aucoin for lunch, a spur of the moment type of thing. They sat outside on the patio of a little-known Mexican restaurant, enjoying what little comfort the misters offered them. Most sane people would be eating inside, but Shane wanted to make sure their conversation was entirely private and that they were not bothered by onlookers.

“I meant signing with the team,” Shane confirmed.

“Oh yeah, that. I apologize in advance that you have to see my ugly mug for two more years."

“Somehow, I think I’ll survive,” Shane said, a glint of mirth in his eyes. The banter between them was easy and fun. It felt like a release, and Shane gave a literal sigh of relief.

“I heard through the grapevine that you’ve been promoted to Archangel. Is that your deal with God?”

“That’s exactly it. Can you believe it? Me - an angel. And a principal angel at that! Not sure what I did to deserve it, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Shane grinned, Adrian‘s excitement making him feel giddy. “You signed with the team, when you didn’t have to, for less money than you could make elsewhere. That makes you more than deserving, in my eyes.”

Adrian scoffed at him, waving his hand in the air as if to dismiss that whole idea. “Please,” he said sarcastically. “That doesn’t make me a hero. I’m still being paid millions to play a game. Hardly makes me worthy of praise.”

“It means a lot to me,” Shane said quietly, almost embarrassed. “I’m glad you’re staying.”

The edges of Adrian’s mouth quirked up, making the lines around his eyes crinkle. He wasn’t old by any normal standards, but by hockey terms he was practically ancient. The sport took a lot out of them, but they loved it all the same.

“Hopefully I can contribute even more to the team this season, being an Archangel and all. I plan to take advantage of my powers while I still can.”

Shane looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean by ‘while you still can’?”

“You know this is only a temporary setup, the whole being an angel thing.” he said, and Shane shook his head, because he didn’t know.

“I was never informed of that,” Shane said. Adrian gave him a weird look, like he didn’t believe that could be possible.

“Well sure. Nothing good lasts forever,” Adrian continued. “Actually, on the flip side, nothing bad lasts forever either. So I guess it balances out, if you want to look at it that way.” He started to giggle good-naturedly, but stopped when he saw the puzzled and possibly irritated look on Shane’s face.

“This is really bothering you, isn’t it?” Adrian asked.

“Yes!” Shane snapped, something he hardly ever did. “How I’m supposed to help my teammates if I don’t have the power to do so?”

Adrian looked at him questioningly, as if Shane was speaking a foreign language that he’d never heard before in his life. “You’ve never need some mystical mojo to help people, Shane. Look at all the good you did for others before you were ever a god. Even as a mere mortal, you were a damn powerful person. And you will continue to be.”

Shane smiled, the first real genuine smile he’d felt in a very long time. “How did you get to be so wise?”

“Having five children,” Adrian responded with ease. “It comes with the territory.”

“I guess I have to pop out at least one more kid then, eh?”

“You sure do,” Adrian agreed, giving him a pat on the back. It was such a comfortable feeling, being able to talk to someone like this. Joke around. He had that with Keith, but Adrian was more on his level, being closer in age if nothing else. Adrian knew where he was coming from, always seemed to know the exact thing to say in any situation.

Basically, he was the exact opposite of Ed. And just what Shane needed right now.

“Is it true that Jovo is working with the devil?” Adrian suddenly asked. Well, shit. Looks like he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about Ed that easily.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, but yes.”

“Damn. That’s gotta be tough. One demigod and one demon on the same team? And aren’t you guys, like, best friends?”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it,” Shane emphasized, then immediately felt bad. He knew Adrian was just trying to help out and make conversation. He didn’t mean to snap, but thinking about Ed seemed to make him do just that. Apparently it was still a tender subject for him.

“All right,” Adrian said. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t even worry about it. I’m just dealing with some… issues. It’s no big deal.”

“I understand.”

They spent the rest of their meal in almost awkward small talk, until they got back to the subject of hockey and both felt more comfortable. When they parted ways, Shane knew it would be the last time he’d see him for several months. That thought suddenly filled him with unease, so before Adrian could leave Shane reached for him, wrapping him in a bear hug.

He pulled away, an uneasy smile on his face. “Thank you,” Shane said.

“For what?”

“For everything. Becoming an Archangel, staying on the team, keeping the other guys in line. For being a friend.”

“Being friends with you is the easy part,” Adrian said, chuckling as he did so.

“Promise me something.” Shane didn’t want to leave before getting this off his chest.

“What’s that?”

“Just, stay away from Ed when the season starts. The last thing I need is you falling to his evil ways like so many of the others.” Shane realized that he himself had fallen to Ed’s temptations before, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it out loud.

“May be difficult to stay away completely if we’re defensive partners, but I can promise you I won’t be tempted by him.”

Shane let out a breath, once again relieved. “Thanks again. See you next season, big guy.”

+ - + - +

August 2010

After spending a couple months in Florida with his family, Ed was bored out of his mind.

Kirstin could tell he was getting annoyed, and finally after a week of him moping around the house, she snapped at him in the kitchen.

“You miss him, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ed denied. She glared at him.

“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” And then she was going off, detailing all of the weird behavior from Ed that she’d observed over the past few months. According to Kirstin, she knew more about Ed’s “stupid feelings” than even he knew.

“Look. You should go back home,” Kirstin said.

“What do you mean? I am home.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, looking completely disgusted. “No, you idiot. Go back to Phoenix. Tell Shane how you feel. Do whatever you want with him. Just… get it out of your freaking system.”

Ed couldn‘t believe what he was hearing. He knew his wife was accepting, but never dreamed that her understanding could reach so far. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Trust me. You’ll be of a lot more use to me out there than you are here. I’ll stay with the kids another week, until we have to go back to Arizona and get them ready to start school.”

In that moment, Ed felt like the luckiest man in the world. He went up to Kirstin, hugging her and giving her a kiss on the cheek before saying, “I love you.”

“I know. And I love you too. Now go.”

“Okay.” He started to leave the room, but before he got out of the kitchen the sound of Kirstin’s voice stopped him.

“One more thing. I know all about your work for the devil. Don’t think you could keep something that big from me.” She was pointing at him, meaning she definitely meant business. Ed shook his head, flabbergasted. “And you better be done with that shit,” Kirstin finished.

“I am done with it. Completely.”

“Prove it.”

“I’m going to go to church in Phoenix and confess my sins. I will be forfeiting all of my power.” She nodded her approval, virtually giving Ed her blessing to leave.

He went to the master bedroom to begin packing, then went to book the earliest flight he could find back to Phoenix.

+ - + - +

Phoenix, Arizona

Ed’s hand shook as he picked up the phone, trying to calm himself down as he started to press the buttons for the number that he knew by heart. He couldn’t help feeling neurotic; this was his one last chance to make things right and he didn’t want to screw it up. He wanted everything to be perfect.

Shane answered with a hasty “hello,” sounding as if he couldn’t be bothered right now, but Ed was prepared to be persistent.

“I need to see you.”

“Can it wait?”

“No. It can’t.”

“Aren’t you still in Florida?”

Ed shook his head, before remembering that Shane could not actually see the gesture. “Nope. I came back yesterday. Just me. Kirstin is still there with the kids.”

“Well, I’m a little busy right now. But I can meet up with you in about an hour?”

“Sure. As long as it’s today.”

“Do you want to come over to the house?”

“No. Come to my place.”

“Fine. I’ll see you in a little while.” Shane didn’t sound overly thrilled. In fact, his tone implied that this was more of a chore than anything. Ed couldn’t blame him; they hadn’t exactly left each other on the best of terms.

When Ed heard the knock on the door, he felt his stomach instantly turn into knots. He went to let Shane in, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air between them.

“So, you wanted to see me?” Shane asked, finally breaking the ice.

Ed nodded, but didn’t speak. He led Shane to the great room of the house, motioning towards the couch, but neither of them sat down.

“What’s up?” Shane prodded, so nonchalant it almost hurt. Ed didn’t want them to return to the simple friendship they had for so long. Didn’t want the status quo. He wanted their relationship to move forward, in whatever way possible.

“Wanted to tell you, Kirstin knows. About everything.”

Shane looked back at him uneasily. “Knows about what, exactly?”

“Us. My thing with the devil. Your deal with God. All of it.”

“What, you told her?” Shane yelled, causing Ed to take a few steps back, almost tripping over the table as he did so.

“No. Well, not exactly. She inferred a lot of things. Then I just filled in some of the blanks.” As he gained confidence, Ed started to walk forward, closing the distance between them until he’d returned to his prior position.

“Why would you do that? You know we’re not supposed to tell others about our power. Especially someone as close to you as your wife. It’s supposed to be a secret, you know.”

“Fuck secrecy. I’m tired of keeping secrets.”

“Ed-”

“Just shut up. Please?” With both hands, he cupped the sides of Shane’s face, not letting him go. And then he pressed his lips to Shane’s, forcibly bringing him into a bruising kiss. He didn’t know how Shane would react, but frankly, he didn’t care. He needed this. Had needed it for so long.

Even if Shane beat the hell out of him afterwards, at least he would have this one kiss burned into his memory.

But to his surprise, Shane wasn’t pulling away. He wasn’t slapping Ed across the face. He was very much kissing him back, gripping the hair at the base of his neck before pulling him in closer. Shane continued to push forward, making sure to avoid the living room table, until Ed’s back was pressed up against the wall.

Standing there, caught between a rock and a hard place (quite literally), Ed made out with him like a horny teenager. All of his pent-up feelings from the past year came pouring out, intensifying the sensation of the kiss. Shane’s lips were slightly chapped, and his tongue tasted of bubble gum, but Ed didn’t care one bit.

He moaned into the other man’s mouth, which Shane must have liked because he pressed into him even harder. Ed’s hands were everywhere, touching any skin he could reach before fumbling for the bottom of Shane’s shirt, lifting it over his head. He reached for his own shirt then, practically ripping off the material. Then it was skin on skin, direct contact, bodies pressed together.

They made it to the couch at least, as they couldn’t get much farther without keeping their hands off each other. Shane was on top of Ed, leaning over him, breathing into his ear. It was all happening so fast, but Ed didn’t want it to ever end. And if this was just a dream, then he never wanted to wake up.

Shane was using his hands to explore Ed’s body, pausing at various points to caress his skin. When he reached Ed’s belt buckle he stopped, giving him a pondering look.

“P-please,” Ed said, stumbling over the word, unable to speak clearly. He mentally slapped himself for sounding like a fourteen year old girl.

Shane shrugged, seeming not to notice, and continued working on the buckle until it was undone. As Ed lifted himself up, Shane pulled Ed’s jeans down just enough so that he could reach for his hardness through his boxers. He stroked him until Ed was crying out in pleasure, grabbing onto Shane’s wrist to slow him down. “Please,” he repeated.

“Tell me what you want,” Shane insisted, sounding flustered.

“Together. Want you - want to feel you on me,” he managed to say.

“Hmm. Like this?” Shane asked. Then he was undressing himself until his own erection was exposed, and crawled back on top of Ed so that they were pressed together.

Ed nodded enthusiastically. “Just like that.” Shane continued to rub them together, his breathing becoming more shallow as the feeling of pleasure between them increased. There were many things Ed was curious to try, but unfortunately he knew there was no way he could last long enough to find out. Shane was beautiful. Just the sight of him, all flushed and exposed, hair falling in his eyes and lips parted, left Ed painfully aroused.

“Kiss me,” he said, and Shane obliged. It wasn’t dirty; it was sweet and slow and magnificent. A hint of tongues pressing together. He could feel their cocks pressed together between them as they kissed, and he felt utterly content.

When Shane reached for him again, stroking both of them together this time, Ed couldn’t hold back anymore. It was like he was in high school again, over-stimulated and unable to delay his orgasm.

Shane must have been feeling the same way, because he came soon afterwards, semen dripping down his fingers and onto Ed’s pubic bone. Soon enough, Shane collapsed on top of him, laying there for a few moments until his breathing evened out.

“That was -”

“Yeah,” Ed finished for him. “So good.”

“I was going to say messy,” Shane said, laughing.

“Oh well, yeah. That too,” Ed agreed, and he couldn’t keep the smile from his face.

“Once I have time to recover, do you think maybe we could try that again? Possibly slower this time.”

“Fuck yes,” Ed said, not caring to censor his vulgarity.

But for once, Shane didn’t seem to mind. He actually grinned.

+ - + - +

At some point, much later on in the evening, they somehow made it to Ed’s bed. Mentally and physically exhausted, Shane just wanted to lay there. Possibly forever.

He looked over at Ed, whose eyes were near closed, but Shane could still see his pupils fully dilated in the darkness of the room.

Shane was just as tired, and yet he wasn‘t quite ready to go to sleep. They still hadn‘t really talked yet, and something was bugging him. He needed to get everything out in the open, get it off his chest. Shane finally broke the silence. “What prompted this? Tonight, I mean.”

Ed looked over at him, propping himself up on an elbow. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few months.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Shane said, interrupting him. Ed lightly hit him on the shoulder.

“Jerk.”

Shane laughed. “I’m sorry, continue.”

“As I said, I’ve been thinking about things for a while. The way I acted last year… it was selfish and stupid. I couldn’t see a way out of my situation. But I should have just been humble about it, and asked for help.”

“No kidding.”

Ed ignored him, continuing on. “I was so angry when you had Scottie injured. But -” Ed swallowed before finishing. “- I realized I had to forgive you. It wasn’t smart what you did, but I sort of understood why you did it. And either way, everybody makes mistakes.”

Shane sighed. “You’re a wiser person than I am.”

“I don’t know about that, but I do think I’ve grown as a result of having a taste of power."

“So what does any of that have to do with you kissing me?”

“Well…” Ed started to say, then stopped as if he didn’t know how to answer. “It didn’t have anything to do with it, really. I just wanted to kiss you. Been wanting you for longer than I’d like to admit.”

“Oh really?” Shane asked, as he could feel his ego expanding, against his better intentions.

“Yeah,” he agreed, not acknowledging Shane’s smirk. “Just didn’t know how to justify everything. Then I went to church yesterday -”

“You went to church?” Shane asked, interrupting him again. He was stunned. Ed never liked going to church before the whole Devil debacle, much less during.

“I needed to talk to God, and I felt like that was the only way He’d listen to me.”

“And did you speak to Him?”

“Mmm. I talked, but it’s not like I heard Him answer. I can only hope that someone was listening, but I’m pretty sure He was.”

“How do you know?”

“I gave up my power.”

“You what?” Shane asked, even more surprised by this new revelation.

“I said I didn’t want it anymore. Didn’t want to be a demon. I asked God for help, and He must have listened because I could feel the power leaving.”

“Really?”

Ed nodded in confirmation. It sounded hokey, the whole thing, but who was Shane to say that he was lying? The entire scenario was “out there” to begin with, and yet Shane was still strong in his faith.

A comfortable silence filled the air between them for several minutes before Shane spoke again. He knew Ed was almost asleep, and so the scenario gave Shane the courage to say what he might not say if Ed was fully cognizant.

“I’m glad I have you.”

“Oh?” Ed enquired, his eyes closed, barely conscious. Reduced to one word answers.

“Without you everything would be… boring.”

“Huh.”

Shane continued on, “It’s like that song my daughter likes to listen to all day long. My Life Would Suck Without You.”

Ed didn’t respond, as a light snore began to fill the room. Shane wasn’t sure if Ed had actually heard what he’d said before he fell asleep, but it didn’t matter.

He could tell him in the morning.