(no subject)
Character: Terazuma Hajime
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Age: Physically in his late 20s
Job: Unwanted Body Changes Advisor
Canon: In Yami no Matsuei, the afterlife isn't as peaceful as one might think, especially for those still working the good old nine to five. They are Shinigami, those who investigate the supernatural and keep order in the afterlife. While every case seems to badtouch the deep-rooted and traumatic issues of our main protagonists, there are a few Shinigami blessed with a simpler afterlife. As long as you consider having to deal with shape-shifting into a rampaging, hundred foot monster at the touch of a woman simple, that is. Cue Terazuma Hajime.
Terazuma's got his own problems to deal with though, mainly in the form of his partnered shikigami, a creature living inside his body that he's able to transform into. He has some control over when and where he transforms, but the shikigami is always looking for a moment of weakness to take over. With Terazuma's natural gynophobia, those moments tend to appear often.
In a word, Terazuma is grumpy. Old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn grumpy, even. Though he's got a strong sense of duty and honor, his straightforward attitude gets him pegged as the bad guy more often than the good. He's also an awkward mess when it comes to expressing his feelings and likely the worst detective you'll ever meet, but that won't stop him from giving any case he comes across, big or small, all of his effort and then some.
Sample Post:
The gorilla in the volcano with the zombie arm!
... 'Ch, that's not it either? This case is turning out to be a lot tougher than I was told, but considering that the clue I was given was written in crayon on a post-it note, I shouldn't have been expecting much. This clue's turning out to be useless too; you'd think it couldn't get much simpler than a note saying "it was me" but the jerk had the nerve to forget his name too. This must be the work of a criminal mastermind. I'm not letting this half-assed post-it throw me off the trail though; I'll interrogate every last suspect if I have to!
Oh right, the report. I've managed to find myself some cover work to keep the locals from suspecting anything. The people running the nearby camp said they had a position open, something about teaching these kids how to keep themselves in their own skins. Said the lady in charge was tired of having to memorize their faces when they kept changing them every week. I'm wondering how they can seriously think that there'd be someone out there who'd be able to lecture about topics like "Being Furry Isn't All That Great, Here's Why", but they said I'd work for the position. I got the job though, so I'll let the personal insult slide for now.
Yeah yeah, laugh all you want up there, you feather dusters. Whoever decided to leave the local law enforcement in the claws of a bunch of toucans was as fruity as the one in the commercials. If you lot can't even take apart a couple of post-it notes so I can get my damn room assignment and get out of here, then there's no.. way... hey. I get it. It was you three bird brains who left me this useless clue to try and throw me off the trail. You're the real murderers, aren't you? Here in the forest with these post-it notes! That's it, isn't it?! Confess! Don't think you'll distract me with some bullshit about tentacles coming to get meeeaaAAAARGH HANDS OFF!! Damn, they got away.
Alright buddy, I thought I made this clear from day one! You know my thoughts on interoffice relationships and I don't want any private swimming lessons from the likes of you. Try finding some other sucker to con a date from, because like hell am I gonna bite. And keep your own fat tentacles to yourself from now on before I snap those ugly things off and- ... are you crying? Jeez, who gets sensitive over a stupid thing like how their tentacles look. Will you stop crying already!? If it gets you to stop crying already, I'll do whatever you want!
... That's what you want? Really? No, I'll do it, just don't start crying again.
No, your tentacles don't make you look fat.
App goes here. (91.5% wut)