Unlucky 13
Friday the 13th is supposed to be a lucky day for me, after all, I was born on a Friday the 13th, but this past one knocked me for a loop. I very nearly came to tears over what turned out to be "misinformation". I try not to cry at work because I don't want to be considered one of those girls who cries at the drop of a hat, so I squashed the instinct even though my body was pretty much doing it anyway.
I hadn't even begun to well up and was told that I needn't get upset. I was shocked that I could be read that well as I was not giving off any signs, yet, that I was going to cry. I thought I was with someone who would ignore my emotions at all cost, so the fact that he could read me that well, it amazed me.
Unfortunately, telling me that there was no reason to get upset only caused the tears to bubble to the surface. The only thing that stopped me from full out sobbing was two things: 1) I clamped my lips together and 2) the knowledge that I would look downright horrific when I ruined my eye make-up.
I couldn't even acknowledge him when he let me leave; I may have whimpered at him. I wanted nothing more than to be invisible for the rest of the day, not that that was actually possible. Apparently, this guy was out to keep me guessing because less than a half an hour later, he was back at my side, his fingers lightly resting on my shoulder. Now, I firmly believe that he goes out of his way to NOT have physical contact with people, especially me, so all I could think was, He's touching me. He said some positive things to me (which completely went against the negative things said previously) and walked away saying that we were going to fix things.
Still, I could not get past the fact that he had his hand on my shoulder. Was this a gesture of comfort? It may be the closest thing I'll ever see. Of course, I also thought that I may have imagined the whole thing, but he did it again before he left for the day. Fingers just barely touching me, telling me not to stress myself out. That's like winding up a top and telling it not to spin.
I hadn't even begun to well up and was told that I needn't get upset. I was shocked that I could be read that well as I was not giving off any signs, yet, that I was going to cry. I thought I was with someone who would ignore my emotions at all cost, so the fact that he could read me that well, it amazed me.
Unfortunately, telling me that there was no reason to get upset only caused the tears to bubble to the surface. The only thing that stopped me from full out sobbing was two things: 1) I clamped my lips together and 2) the knowledge that I would look downright horrific when I ruined my eye make-up.
I couldn't even acknowledge him when he let me leave; I may have whimpered at him. I wanted nothing more than to be invisible for the rest of the day, not that that was actually possible. Apparently, this guy was out to keep me guessing because less than a half an hour later, he was back at my side, his fingers lightly resting on my shoulder. Now, I firmly believe that he goes out of his way to NOT have physical contact with people, especially me, so all I could think was, He's touching me. He said some positive things to me (which completely went against the negative things said previously) and walked away saying that we were going to fix things.
Still, I could not get past the fact that he had his hand on my shoulder. Was this a gesture of comfort? It may be the closest thing I'll ever see. Of course, I also thought that I may have imagined the whole thing, but he did it again before he left for the day. Fingers just barely touching me, telling me not to stress myself out. That's like winding up a top and telling it not to spin.