Title: You Are The Star That Shines
Character(s)/Pairing(s): James/Logan
Rating: M
Chapter Word Count: ~4,500
Disclaimer: I don’t own BTR or Jason Mraz
Warnings/Notes: Slight spoilers for BTMove. Largely based on Jason Mraz’s “Galaxy”. Title and cut-tag come from the song. Awesomely beta'd by
shisou_eimin. She deserves her own star. Any mistakes found are my own.
Summary: For a moment, James felt elated. He was sure that whatever had separated him and Logan could be overridden by the magic of the skies.
Palmwoods Park was not working for James.
Back home in Minnesota, sitting beneath the sky calmed him down. It forced him to remember that there were bigger things out there. That all his problems were manageable in the grand scheme of things.
Right now all it was doing was stirring up memories of him and Logan, while making James feel even lonelier, if that was possible.
It shouldn’t have been, as Carlos’ cardboard mansion was within eyesight.
Earlier, James stopped by, wanting to talk to Carlos about James and Logan’s relationship. Instead, Carlos asked about Helmet. James admitted that he had temporarily misplaced Carlos’ headwear friend. When Carlos learned of this, he slammed the door (as much as anyone could slam cardboard) in James’ face after shoving him out.
So much for Carlos’ help.
James raised his face to the heavens, thankful that despite the ever-present smog, he knew the stars were up there, would always be up there. Right now, they were his only friends. The only things he could count on.
A faint flash of light caught James’ eye.
James squinted, thinking that debris in the air captured his attention. Until it happened again, and again, and again.
James closed his eyes. The ache in his chest spread as he recalled the last time he’d seen something like this. The night he and Logan got together.
----
“James! Hurry up, I don’t want to miss it!”
James wasn’t sure why Logan was so excited to see a bunch of rocks fall from the sky and when he stated as much to Logan, James got an earful about why meteors weren’t actually rocks and some other stuff. He stopped listening after learning about meteorite composition. Logan continued on with his diatribe, not noticing James tuning him out and randomly nodding to keep up the pretense of listening.
It was only when Logan was standing in front of James, saying, “Great! I’ll swing by around 6 tonight and we’ll walk down to Nelson’s Farm. The field there is open enough that star gazing and meteor watching should be amazing” that James realized he’d been tricked. The grin that bloomed over Logan’s face was enough to shut down any protests James thought about launching.
Logan, true to his word, arrived at 6pm on the dot, blanket and basket in tow. For comfort, he explained when James raised an eyebrow. James just shook his head and claimed that he forgot something upstairs; he'd be back in a minute. James knew Logan got cold very easily so he searched his room for a warmer blanket to make sure Logan didn’t catch his death, especially since it was late November.
James heard Logan shout again, so he grabbed the comforter from his bed and yelled back, “I’m coming! Keep your pants on!” A mental picture developed in James’ mind after he uttered those words, heat rising to his cheeks because of it.
“Why do you look all flushed? Are you getting sick?” Of course that would be what Logan noticed first when James got back to him.
James ducked Logan’s questions and hand as Logan tried to feel up James’ forehead. “I’m fine. Now I thought you wanted to see some rocks fall from the sky?”
Just as he hoped, Logan abandoned his current line of questioning in favor of explaining to James, once again, that meteors were not actual rocks. James let Logan go on while he ushered them out the door and down to the end of the block to Nelson’s Farm.
Logan stopped babbling once he became aware of their surroundings. He strolled out into the middle of the field, head tilted towards the sky. “Right here is perfect.”
James grabbed Logan’s blanket, spreading it on the ground. Logan sat down and started pawing through the picnic basket. He pulled out a thermos, offering it to James. James shook his head, watching Logan place it back in the basket and lie down so he was no longer straining his neck to see the sky above him.
James continued to stay standing and looking down at Logan. Logan's eyes roamed the sky above and James was mesmerized by the look of wonderment on Logan's face. He didn’t even blink when Logan suddenly rolled onto his side and peered up at James.
“Dude. The sky is upwards. You’re looking at the ground. Wrong direction. No meteors there. But you will find rocks.” Logan’s eyes danced as he teased James. “Please lie down. I don’t want to hear about how sore your neck is tomorrow.”
James pulled himself from his stupor and joined Logan on the small blanket. Once down, he carefully spread his comforter over the two of them before lying back. They were close enough that James could feel Logan’s body heat. Logan could probably feel his body heat too. Logan should stay warm that way.
Folding his arms behind his head, James gazed at the endless marvel of the clear night sky. “When is the shower supposed to start?”
“Well, James, our part of the hemisphere should be seeing it around 8.”
“So why are we here so early?”
“James, it’s not that early. My watch says it’s just past 7 now.”
“What do we do in the mean time?”
“I’m going to teach you about the stars and the constellations.” Logan sat up as he explained to James how the constellations changed with each season due to the Earth’s rotation around the sun and in its own orbit. “I’m working on learning more, but I can readily identify Orion the hunter, Ursa major and minor, and Cassiopeia.”
James quickly glanced at Logan’s watch. It was nearly time, but he was fascinated by the words coming from Logan. Or maybe it was the movement of Logan’s lips.
James sat up too, asking Logan how he, James, could identify these same constellations.
Logan’s eyes lit up at the thought of James taking an interest in something other than himself, hockey or girls. “You see, James, Orion is easily found by the row of three stars that make up his belt. Ursa major and minor look like handled pots; 4 stars to make a boxy pot and a fifth to make the handle. As for Cassiopeia, you can find her because the stars make a letter “M” which would be-“
James’ lips pressing against Logan’s own cut off anymore of his explanation. It was soft and unhurried, their first kiss.
James pulled away, watching as Logan dragged in a deep breath. “-her throne,” he finished. “What was that?”
James leaned back in towards Logan. “Surely a genius like you must recognize a kiss when given one,” he joked. “Would you like another one?”
Logan nodded dazedly.
“Then you shall have one.” James slid his lips back over Logan’s, loving the way Logan responded now.
After a few minutes, the leaning got to be tiresome for both parties. James pulled Logan into his lap and during the separation of lips, noticed that the meteor shower had been going on around them. “Logan, look!”
Logan barely cast a sidelong glance at the not-rocks falling from the sky.
James was confused. “I thought you wanted to see this? You were so excited for it.”
Logan just settled himself into James’ lap, making sure he was comfortable. “Ehh. Another shower will come through eventually. Right now, I’ve got something else I’m excited about.”
With those words, Logan wrapped his arms around James’ neck and proceeded to make sure that James forgot about everything else that wasn’t him.
----
James opened his eyes again and noticed something peculiar.
The lights in the sky seemed to be heading in the same direction, towards the Palmwoods. That was unusual. James remembered Logan stating that meteors appear to come from the same point since they travel parallel to each other, but he never said anything about them landing in the same place.
Curiosity peaked; James climbed on the scooter and started following the meteors. He kept his focus skyward, only glancing in front of him when he deemed it necessary.
The gentle lapping of water brought James’ gaze back to his earth-based surroundings. He quietly gasped when he saw Logan sitting out in front of a poolside cabana with a lawn and mailbox, taking in the show the heavens were providing tonight.
The sound of the scooter’s motor gave James’ presence away. James watched as Logan’s head swung his way. For a moment, James felt elated. He was sure that whatever had separated him and Logan could be overridden by the magic of the skies. Hadn’t the meteor shower led him here?
James couldn’t believe the look in Logan’s eyes. Rather than the happy or even nostalgic expression James expected, Logan’s gaze held sadness. There was no light in his eyes, like he was in need of a brand new shining light since his last one had died. No light, no warmth.
James started to roll closer, to comfort his boyfriend, when he observed Logan’s eyes harden as they swept over the scooter and James’ attire. Once that was done, Logan abruptly stood and disappeared into his cabana.
James braked as Logan firmly drew the curtains closed. Apparently, Logan must have found something more exciting than the meteor shower just now, inside his new home.
----
Once James made his way back to his new home, he crawled into bed. The emotions swirling through James made him more exhausted than he ever thought possible and he didn’t bother to do his nighttime beauty routine. He’d look like a mess tomorrow, but James couldn’t bring himself to care. At least now, his outside appearance would match the inside’s commotion.
----
Sleep was a fickle creature.
James felt bone tired but every time he tried to get comfortable, he failed miserably. The mattress was too firm for James’ taste. It was also too big. The bed must have been a California King; James was used to a double. He and Logan slept very soundly in that double.
Logan.
He was the main reason James couldn’t get any shut-eye. James was used to Logan’s body being pressed against his as they slept. James’ arms would hold Logan all night and it felt wrong to be holding nothing.
James grabbed the spare pillow and held it tightly in his arms. It was no Logan, but it would have to do. He squeezed his eyes shut and started to think about better times with Logan.
It took a few minutes, but sleep finally claimed James for herself.
----
James crept into Logan’s cabana.
Logan’s voice rang out in the darkness. “What took you so long?”
James thought he was being sneaky. Damn it. “What do you mean, what took me so long? You know how long it takes for me to be public appropriate. And it’s a little hard to be public appropriate without my lucky comb. Which you licked.”
A wicked grin spread across Logan’s face, James could hear it in his voice. “I licked your comb on purpose. I knew what it would do to you.”
James blushed. His Logan was being a tease. “I’ll show you what else you can lick then.” James started shucking his clothes. He didn’t see where they were falling and didn’t care if he saw them ever again.
Once they were completely divested, he slowly made his way over to Logan’s makeshift bed. A hand out in front of him, to ensure he didn’t collide with anything, made contact with flesh. A quick skim left and right resulted in James feeling the same smooth flesh under his hand.
Logan was naked.
“Hey. It’s not fair that you’re touching me when I’m not touching you.”
James backed up slightly at Logan’s complaint. “Hold on a minute. I’ll be right back.”
James carefully turned and shuffled over to the cabana’s entrance. Once there, he tied back the curtains, letting the moonlight filter in. James whirled around to survey his surroundings in the newfound light.
Beautiful, he thought when he saw Logan as nature had intended.
Arousal was pulsing through James like a kick drum beat, so he made short work of the trek back to his love. James ran his finger along the length of Logan’s body as he murmured, “Now where were we? Oh yes, something about me not touching you when you’re not touching me? Touch me. Touch me, Logan. Please.”
Logan reached out and took James’ erection in his hand. James didn’t bother holding back his moan. It felt so damn good to be touched again, especially since Logan knew just how James liked to be stroked.
Logan did this for a few minutes before he began slowing down.
James whimpered. “Why are you teasing me again?”
Logan sat up, pulling James by his dick to stand between Logan’s legs. “I believe that you mentioned having something else I could lick.”
James groaned at the very thought of Logan giving him head. The boy really was a genius, and blowjobs were no exception.
A firm grasp remained around James’ cock as he watched Logan lower his head. James could feel Logan’s breath on his sensitive skin-
The sound of lite jazz pulled James from his slumber. Groggy, he rolled over to Logan to inquire about the source of the sound when he found the space next to him empty. It hit James like a ton of bricks when he remembered that he and Logan weren’t speaking or living together anymore.
But why do I feel like he’s been touching me? James wondered. His cock twitched in agreement and it was only then, that James realized it was his own hand wrapped around the organ.
Since it was hard and his hand was still on it, James jacked off while thinking of the Logan in his dream and how James would give anything to make it a reality.
----
James dozed after his orgasm.
He awoke for the second time with a thought niggling him from the back of his brain. Every time he tried to recall it, it danced further away, frustrating James to no end.
Deciding to stop torturing himself, James got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.
A look in the mirror proved to be a mistake.
James figured there was no better start to fixing things between him and Logan than by fixing himself. He showered, got redressed and properly styled his hair with his back-up lucky comb.
Once that was done, James sat down in front of the television. A few hours of mind-numbing tv should help flush out whatever it was in his mind that kept eluding him.
When James hit the on button on the remote, the first program to pop up was AM LA. James started to hit the channel up button on reflex since he did not have many good memories about that show (other than slapping a pharaoh) but stopped when he heard the words “found meteorite”.
The reporter on scene was not far from the Palmwoods, James noticed. In her hand, she held what looked like a burnt tennis ball. That’s wrong, James thought.
James knew from all of Logan’s lectures about stars, meteors and space that most meteors aren’t bigger than a grain of sand to start off with and they certainly don’t make it past Earth’s atmosphere.
James could see Logan in his mind telling him all this information as he sat at his kitchen table chopping vegetables for his mom. Logan paused in his cutting, looking up at James. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t hope to own one someday. Any piece of the sky for that matter.”
Any piece of the sky.
That’s what his brain had been trying to tell him! The way to get Logan back was to present him with a, a….
James was stumped. What could he buy Logan that came from the sky?
James switched the television off again, picking up his laptop. After some searching, James found a website selling the moon. The moon! Having Logan own the moon would mean that whenever he saw it, he’d think of James. It sounded like an awesome idea. James would just need more money first.
James grabbed his cell phone, dialing his mom. “Mom, I need a million dollars.”
Much to Brooke Diamond’s credit, she did not immediately turn James down. “What for, James?”
“Logan and I got into this fight and I know I could make him love me again if I bought him the moon. The moon, Mom! Who wouldn’t want that?”
James heard his mother sigh on the other end of the line. “James, sweetie, I’m very sure Logan still loves you. It’s not like you cheated on him. You didn’t cheat on him, did you?!”
James felt a trickle of fear run down his spine. “No, Mom. I’m not Dad.”
“Good. For a moment there, I thought you had forgotten what I taught you. Either way, you should talk to Logan. I’m sure you can work things out.”
James thought about that for a moment. “So no moon, Mom?”
“No moon, James. I will send you two hundred dollars. That should be plenty for you to get something Logan likes.”
Nearing the end of the conversation, James said, “Thanks, Mom. But I think owning the moon would have been cool too.”
Her laughter at that statement made him smile. “I’ll talk to you again soon, James. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
----
James continued to search the internet for gift ideas.
If the moon was out, that means that the sun and the planets had to be out too. Pluto had been downgraded and was no longer considered to be a planet, so maybe he could get a discount? James shook his head to clear his thoughts. There was no way he could buy Pluto for two hundred dollars.
With the larger celestial bodies down for the count, James started thinking about stars. Thinking about stars made James think about his and Logan’s first kiss and Logan’s excitement as he explained constellations to James.
Thankfully, there were several websites pertaining to star purchasing and star naming.
Wouldn’t that be something? James mused. Buy Logan a star. What would I possibly name it? I better make sure I can afford this before I think too hard; I hate getting unnecessary wrinkle lines.
His fingers flew over the keyboard and James quickly clicked on the link to stop the thoughts his brain was churning out. The ultimate package offered everything James was looking for and was within his budget.
James filled out all the pertinent information. When he came to the name section, James could think of only one so befitting. His star already had a name.
Moving on, James asked for the package to be Fed-Exed same day to guarantee that he would be presenting it to Logan tomorrow, the latest.
With that project done, James thought it would be a good time to go lay out by the pool, get some non-owned sun and keep an eye on Logan. He stood, striding to the door when an envelope on the floor became glaringly obvious. James picked it up, slid it open and read about the new Bio Hazard Battle Blasters’ 5 challenge.
James glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was almost time for the challenge now. James decided he would go, if only to see if the prize was more awesome than the star he purchased for Logan. If it was, he’d fight to win it.
Fight to win Logan back.
----
As James approached 2J’s door, he could hear fighting and loud words coming his way. He stood stock-still waiting for Logan to round the corner and see him.
Logan turned the corner but was engrossed in his argument with Carlos; Logan failed to see his boyfriend until he bumped into James. Logan didn’t pause in his fight to apologize to James.
This angered James because usually Logan uttered, “I’m sorry” at the drop of a hat. What had gotten into him?
James grabbed the door’s knob, twisted it in his hand and pushed the door open. As this was happening, he shoved the two fighting fools from the hallway into their former apartment.
Kendall shouted some words. Nobody cared.
Katie screeched and everything ground to a halt.
Kendall said some more words but James’ entire focus was on Logan. He had missed his boyfriend and now with him standing so close, James wanted nothing more than to carry him back to their bed and have his way with Logan and Logan's talented mouth.
James managed to answer some questions directed at him by looking at the two he was standing beside. They still had his back even if they were fighting. That’s what true friends do.
How Kendall managed to figure out that Battle Blasters was the cause of every fight within the last week, remained a mystery to James because he stopped listening again. Logan was too damn distracting.
Mama Knight took the evil game and shooed them all outside amid protests from Kendall that they were “no longer 8 years old”.
James reached for Logan’s hand as he walked by, relief flooding him when Logan’s fingers interlocked with his. James tugged Logan into a hug. “I’ve missed you,” he breathed into Logan’s hair.
“I missed you too. It was hell sleeping alone.”
James chuckled. “You don’t need to tell me. I know. I hugged a pillow pretending it was you.”
Logan tilted his head to look James in the eyes. “I’m sorry you had to do that. You won’t be doing it again, if I have any say. I’m also sorry I bumped into you earlier and didn’t apologize.”
James just smiled. That was the Logan he remembered and loved. His Logan.
----
James bounded for the door when he heard the doorbell. He grabbed the package eagerly, inspecting Logan’s gift. Everything looked to be in order.
James smiled at the framed certificate bearing the star’s new name. He couldn’t wait to see Logan’s face when James gave it to him. It would wait until later; when he could make sure they were alone.
James took the package and stuffed it under their bed, this way it’d be reachable when he wanted it.
----
The wait nearly drove James crazy.
He set the alarm clock for 2 am, hoping that he’d wake up before Logan did and started asking questions. Between being grateful Logan was back beside James where he belonged and the excitement of what of he was about to do, James didn’t sleep a wink that night.
When 2 am came around, James slapped the alarm quietly and shook Logan awake. “Wake up, love. I’ve got something to show you.”
Logan grumbled, “Put your dick away, James. We’ll play later. You know, when I’m awake.”
James laughed. “I have a different something to show you. Now hurry up because the weatherman stated it would only be clear for a short time.”
That statement woke Logan a little more. “What are you up to?”
James climbed out of bed and grabbed the box beneath it. “You’ll have to come with me to find out.”
With his eyes on the box in James’ hand, Logan followed.
At the apartment door, Logan started questioning James again. “Where are we going? I don’t even have shoes on. I need a licensed driver with me when I drive. Please tell me we’re not taking the BTR mobile.”
James put his free hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Calm down. All will be revealed soon.” James tried wiggling his eyebrows like Kendall after that proclamation, but failed spectacularly.
This did not comfort Logan the slightest bit. “No cars?”
James moved his hand from Logan’s shoulder to Logan’s hand. “No cars, promise. Now could you please open the door since both my hands are taken?”
----
The journey to the pool was short.
A quick glance at the sky confirmed that, for once, the weatherman seemed to get the forecast correct.
James sat down on one of the lounge chairs organized around the pool while Logan sat on the chair across from him. “Being away from you was one of the hardest things I ever had to endure. I was so lonely. I went to the park hoping that the sky would make me feel better. It has, you know; ever since that first night. Sitting beneath the stars makes me feel closer to you. Because you are my star, Logan. Always have been, always will be. That’s why I bought you this.”
James handed Logan the box, watching him like a hawk as Logan opened it. Logan pulled out the contents and shuffled through the smaller stuff, ignoring the big framed certificate.
James fought the urge to facepalm. Of course Logan would look at the details first.
Logan peered up at James. “You bought me a star?” Logan exploded with joy. “You bought me a star!” he shouted, not caring if his yelling woke any of the Palmwoods residents.
James did not expect this reaction from Logan. What would it be like when Logan read the name?
James’ worry was short-lived. Logan had picked up the certificate, gobbling up the words like they’d be taken away if he didn’t. James watched as Logan’s eyes stopped in the middle and widened. Logan slowly lowered the frame. “Are you serious?” he asked James, softly.
James nodded. “I meant it when I said you are my star. Here’s the proof.”
Logan raised the frame again. “You named the star Hortense.”
James grinned at the awe in Logan’s voice. “You bet I did.”
Logan put the gift to the side and tackled James. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Logan climbed off his boyfriend and proceeded to locate his star in the sky. “I think I would be roughly over there,” Logan said as he pointed and looked over the coordinates again.
“I would like you roughly over here.” James gestured to his lap.
Logan ignored his boyfriend's overture, turning to pack up his gift once more. “I’ve got a better idea. Come with me.”
Logan took the box and walked over to his cabana. “I have this cabana for the next two years. I say we make good use of it.” Box laid aside, Logan started removing his sleepwear.
James stood, afraid to breathe too loudly, lest Logan should stop stripping.
Oops, too late. Logan was now naked in the moonlight.
James rushed over, wanting to touch, to taste, to love. He reached for the curtains, but Logan’s voice from behind him stilled James' hands.
“Leave them open. I wanna be able to see you.”
James moaned. “I had a dream like this once.”
Logan was touching himself when James spun around and looked over. “Oh, yeah? Well, why don’t you come over here and tell me about it so we can reenact it.”
“It started with me sneaking in here. You were already naked, not that I knew that at the time, and when I found you….”
James' dream, and beyond, became reality that night. All the while, Hortense shone down on them.