(no subject)
Do you think its selfish of me that I don't care about anyone around me anymore at all? Ive completely given up. I just need to try & focus on me. I'm tired of everyone hurting me, emotionally with shit, & I am tired of everything messing up. I figured out I have no friends who do actually care. They just think nothing of it or say sorry or bitch at me because of the way I'm acting. I don't need to act this way, but its much easier than being how I use to be. I'm seriously thinking that I should drop them all for a while & keep to myself. Even though they're the only ones that actually have shit in common with me, so I couldn't do that. I feel so helpless & weak. I know it'll probably pass, but it hasn't yet. & I hate the fact I know I have to wake up for .230182 days & try to make it through school. That kills me. Also the fact being in Florida, kills me even more. I would do anything to get out of here. Anything.
Pft,I can't even feel myself when I cry anymore. It just happens & I think of other things that are wrong & cry more. Even when I don't need too. It doesn't feel like I have my mom anymore either. Which makes me cry. We use to be close. Even if that sounds dumb. Its true. It seems like everything is messing up & I need it my way or I flip out. I just get so irrated by little things. I can't even tell people how I feel these days, without bawling. I cannot stand it any longer. Its gotten to the point of where it drives me insane....
So I guess for now, I'm just going to have to to hang in there, & hope for the best.
People tell me all the time, 'You have to find something to look forward too'. So ive decided I would pick someone I like & make them the reason I look forward into coming to school. & I have. I won't tell anyone. Because why? Because I'm AFRAID of what they'd think. & plus, i HATE people having shit on me.
On other terms wtf else is new? I'm not getting my lip done anytime soon. & Its my fault. At least thats what I was told...Even though I honestly know it wasn't.. I guess you have to blame someone, so why not me?
STFU. I'm not in a pissy mood. I'm just fucking tired of all of this so bad that it like kills me. & my feelings toward this will probably end up changing, but now they're stuck. So if you have a problem I wouldn't tell me it at the moment.
The end ..
+++++OH, & IF YOU HAVEN'T COMMENTED ON THE POST BEFORE THIS, I SUGGEST YOU DO. PLZ, if you want that is.
Pft,I can't even feel myself when I cry anymore. It just happens & I think of other things that are wrong & cry more. Even when I don't need too. It doesn't feel like I have my mom anymore either. Which makes me cry. We use to be close. Even if that sounds dumb. Its true. It seems like everything is messing up & I need it my way or I flip out. I just get so irrated by little things. I can't even tell people how I feel these days, without bawling. I cannot stand it any longer. Its gotten to the point of where it drives me insane....
So I guess for now, I'm just going to have to to hang in there, & hope for the best.
People tell me all the time, 'You have to find something to look forward too'. So ive decided I would pick someone I like & make them the reason I look forward into coming to school. & I have. I won't tell anyone. Because why? Because I'm AFRAID of what they'd think. & plus, i HATE people having shit on me.
STFU. I'm not in a pissy mood. I'm just fucking tired of all of this so bad that it like kills me. & my feelings toward this will probably end up changing, but now they're stuck. So if you have a problem I wouldn't tell me it at the moment.
The end ..
+++++OH, & IF YOU HAVEN'T COMMENTED ON THE POST BEFORE THIS, I SUGGEST YOU DO. PLZ, if you want that is.