Bronze
What do you do if you love someone, and have to let them go?
No...thats not the question I have to ask.
The real question is I wonder what if I spent all my time loving someone who would never love me, so that I never had to love anyone else? The real question after all this, is what if I have loved a man who could never love me back so that I didn't have to let my guard down with anyone else. What I had fallen in love with, was a safe man.
Falling in love with the safe man is a way to protect the emotional side of things. Every time your heart breaks, or you break a heart -its okay, because that heart was not the one to be. You have already met "the one" and you are just biding your time until he is ready for you. If reason is your ally and emotions are too illogical for you to comfortably handle, than the safe man is the way to go. He is the dream, the hope, and the fall back for when you don't find what you are looking for. The safe man is your source of reason.
But when you stop to think about it - what would happen if you safe man finally decided that he was in love with you too? Would it be bliss forever and ever untill death do you part, or will it begin to falter, because now the safety net is gone. Could the safe man actually be the one? As I sit here thinking about all things whimsical and wishful, I begin to wonder what it would sleeping with him be like, and find myself feeling less turned on by the thought than one would assume. Being that intimate with the safe man, it would seem, causes me to panic. At that point in time, he would no longer be safe. He would have the potential to hurt me just as any other man.
My safe man returns home from his adventures less than a week from now. I admitedly, am worried that he indeed may no longer be safe. He may have stewed over what I had to say, and changed his mind. He may not be as cool with it as he said. There are just too many what ifs. And while these what ifs pile up, I am in the process of moving on -- how will he react to the fact that really...he was only ever my safe man, not my soul mate [soul mates don't actually exist, but thats besides the point].
The truth is that I don't want to lose the safe man, but I need to let him go. As the realization of his safe status begins to hit me hard, I stumble across an article about an artist in the western provinces of our country, who makes bronze casting of women's vulvas. With a giggle, I picked up the phone and called a man who is far from safe, knowing that he would appreciate this article as much as I do.
No...thats not the question I have to ask.
The real question is I wonder what if I spent all my time loving someone who would never love me, so that I never had to love anyone else? The real question after all this, is what if I have loved a man who could never love me back so that I didn't have to let my guard down with anyone else. What I had fallen in love with, was a safe man.
Falling in love with the safe man is a way to protect the emotional side of things. Every time your heart breaks, or you break a heart -its okay, because that heart was not the one to be. You have already met "the one" and you are just biding your time until he is ready for you. If reason is your ally and emotions are too illogical for you to comfortably handle, than the safe man is the way to go. He is the dream, the hope, and the fall back for when you don't find what you are looking for. The safe man is your source of reason.
But when you stop to think about it - what would happen if you safe man finally decided that he was in love with you too? Would it be bliss forever and ever untill death do you part, or will it begin to falter, because now the safety net is gone. Could the safe man actually be the one? As I sit here thinking about all things whimsical and wishful, I begin to wonder what it would sleeping with him be like, and find myself feeling less turned on by the thought than one would assume. Being that intimate with the safe man, it would seem, causes me to panic. At that point in time, he would no longer be safe. He would have the potential to hurt me just as any other man.
My safe man returns home from his adventures less than a week from now. I admitedly, am worried that he indeed may no longer be safe. He may have stewed over what I had to say, and changed his mind. He may not be as cool with it as he said. There are just too many what ifs. And while these what ifs pile up, I am in the process of moving on -- how will he react to the fact that really...he was only ever my safe man, not my soul mate [soul mates don't actually exist, but thats besides the point].
The truth is that I don't want to lose the safe man, but I need to let him go. As the realization of his safe status begins to hit me hard, I stumble across an article about an artist in the western provinces of our country, who makes bronze casting of women's vulvas. With a giggle, I picked up the phone and called a man who is far from safe, knowing that he would appreciate this article as much as I do.