change
wow. a lot has changed since then. the one thing that has remained the same is trouble finding someone to love me and to be genuine. i ditched adam 4 years ago and started to date a guy named sean. he was perfect except he wouldnt admit, or he really just didnt love me. he recently left for the peace corps and i miss him like hell. everyday is a struggle for me. i dont even want to get out of bed.
i tried to cover up this pain by meeting new men, but it has been a failed attempt so fa. one of them i decided not to date and he let the air out of my tires and threw a drink on my car. the other one (who's name is also shawn) spent the night with me and i never heard from him again. i guess maybe i should have put out, but i am a lady, not a one night stand.
i imagaine i am writing in this stupid thing again just to try to relieve some stress and depression. the last time i was this depressed i was dating adam...maybe i shouldnt date anymore....
its a hard fight though. i want someone to love and i desperatly want to be loved. i dont know if i will ever find the latter.