(no subject)
What the fuck is wrong with me i dont know soo taylors first atempt to not smoke wasnt as great as it started i just cant do it i feel i dont know but im sooo stressed out and why you may ask about nothing im just panicy and sad and crying everynow and again im like the old me i just cant get rid of this i cant stop it i want it to go awaya nd i play it off in front of megan because i dont know how she would take to it all and i feel like im the only one at work whos really working just because this new acount manger from our box comp. comes in and shes not too bad of a looker but shes wearing a little stripper skirt and that just like stoped all work and after she left that all everyone was talking about stop work cuz a girl witha skirt is in what the fuck god! and here i am busting my ass trying to keep up and they are just chatting about it for like 6 hours i just cant take that if you really want to see it just go to the classy (titty bar) and fucken see it good god grow the fuck up and they are like 30-40 they would never get that and i guess all they have in life is a chick with a skirt then their life is sooo soo verrry sad worse off then mine i know im going to go in their tomar and they will still be talking aobut it god and lauren wont ever call me back that really makes me sad if their is anyone who i would love to talk to and vent is her but i dont know where she is then their is the bank and money and i just dont know what to do and megan i dont know what to do about her i know she is mine and i am hers but i dont know if she could handle me like this me hell i dont think anyone could handle this me all i want is to smoke and drink soo much just soo i die faster but i dont do ither to make my fill fuck it ill just keep living my wonderfull life that i hate soo much and i dont know why i hate it i have a good job a great place to live and surounded by family who love me and such a great girlfriend who i love and i dont know why i just feel like i have nothing im just on empty i will never do anything with my life im just going to stay in my lowly shipping job and never become anything important i want to be feared by people i want them to try and look busy when i walk by but i know i will never become that person just because I WILL FAIL at everything i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!