Sound Advice (TaeKai; 2,531w)
Pairing: Taemin/Kai; mention of Luhan/Sehun, mention of unrequited past Luhan/Kai
Summary: In which Kai is deemed Socially Awkward, Luhan meddles too much, and Taemin is too perfect for his own good.
A/N: My first contribution to the EXO!fanfic pool!! Yay(??? no actually you should all be terrified once I get started I can't stop)
For Kelly. Because I promised her TaeKai a long long time ago and finALLY finished one and it's awkward 'nd inglorious but I hope you like it~ e u e
Also I'm awful at LJ formatting plS ugh the ugliness I'm sorry
In the end, Kai thinks he can easily blame everything on Luhan.
If he’s in the right frame of mind, Kai can almost always find a way to blame Luhan, the little brat, but this time he really is justified.
It goes like this.
Once upon a time - this is not a fairytale, mind you, not even close; Kai just thinks once upon a time isn’t a bad opener for a story - Kai is very, very socially awkward. Yes, he has an obscene amount of money from a little software company he started with a bunch from friends in college that somehow tore off the launching pad and spiraled into international acclaim, and yes, he’s often been complimented on his good looks, and no, even though he’s a computer science major he’s not that much of a geek - he’s just awkward. Though that may be his denial talking.
The truth of the situation is Kai has very little hobbies. The expansion of their little company means that he no longer has to personally work on programming their next software, and while he has a minor in dance, he doesn’t have any ambition to pursue it professionally. Mostly, after the company took off and he suddenly became one of the executives, he sits through a lot of boring meetings and tries to not be rude. A brief obsession with gardening means he has seven pots of assorted flowers and leafy things he has to upkeep, sitting on the balcony of his high-rise. He also has a fitness studio that includes a pool, a treadmill, and a dance practice room, which means he rarely has to, or finds himself wanting to, interact with the outside world.
Luhan, one of the said partners of above mentioned college software company, drags him out every once in a while to be a third-wheel on one of his bubble tea dates with Sehun, and tries in vain to reintroduce him to the world.
“What about that girl over there?” Luhan points with his straw in the general direction of a curly-haired girl who’s sitting with her back to them, typing ferociously at something on her computer. It looks like she’s programming.
“You can bond over the merits of simple Java coding or something,” Sehun comments through a mouthful of tapioca pearls. He had been a History major, and always rolled his eyes whenever Kai and Luhan’s conversation diverted into anything related to programming. Kai knows Luhan has at least 5 boxes full of sappy love poems Sehun wrote for him, though, so he doesn’t think the younger can talk. Luhan flicks him in the nose, and forcefully pushes Kai out of his seat in the direction of Curly Hair.
Five minutes and one very awkward attempt to ask out a girl that ends in abject failure later, Kai returns to their table and spends the rest of the time glaring Luhan down. Luhan peacefully ignores Kai’s death glare and instead spends his time on messing with Sehun’s hair, which was dyed to an unforgettable shade of jungle green. Kai thinks if you assembled all the liberal arts hippies, their hair colors would be fifty shades of rainbow.
“What about guys, then,” Luhan says, not even bothering to make it sound like a question. “You’re pretty normal with us, but the moment you see a girl you freak out and start speaking in gibberish understandable to none. Maybe the gender is the factor that’s throwing you off.”
“What do you mean ‘what about guys,’” Kai splutters, “I’m not gay.”
Luhan gives him a once over and blows him a kiss.
“We can test that,” he smirked slyly. Kai can practically see the devious plans forming in Luhan’s head.
“No. Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is no,” he says, lobbing his napkin at Luhan’s newly-blonde head. “This is not one of your boy-love mangas, not everyone around you is suddenly going to turn gay.”
The soft yellow of Luhan’s hair glows innocently in the afternoon sunlight, and Kai resolves to not associate with Luhan for the rest of the year - or as long as it takes for him to forget whatever harebrained idea he has concocted, anyway.
~ ~ ~
Kai is awful at keeping his resolutions, which is why two months later he finds himself standing stiffly at Luhan’s annual cocktail party for all the company’s relatively big head-honchos, feeling like he would rather his tie actually choke him. There are other executives and big investors mingling, each with a piece of arm candy molded to his side, little frail things who barely look like they’re old enough to drink, mouths too-red with lipstick, eyes glassy and vacant. Some of them actually do have wedding rings glinting proudly off slender fingers, but that doesn’t make them look any less tragic.
“Smile for the investors,” Luhan tells him, along with a sympathetic clap to the back, “they’re the reason we were able to drop out of college after all.”
Kai complies and turns up the charm, fishing out a long over-used joke that makes the group amused anyway, and, feeling his duty has been done, turns around to tell Luhan he’s going home.
He finds Luhan talking to the most perfect looking human being he has ever seen, and cries a little on the inside because said perfection is a he and not a she and for the first time he maybe doubts his sexuality a little.
“Ah, there he is,” Luhan sees him and waves him over. “Taemin, this is Kai, my partner-in-crime. Kai, this is Taemin. He’s a graduate student with very little money and a lot of skills, and I’ve hired him to undo your awkwardness.”
“I’ve already rejected any of your ideas on this subject Lu,” Kai groans, and grimaces at Taemin apologetically.
“Don’t be so narrow-minded. And he’s older than you, so be more respectful,” Luhan pokes him in the chest, and shoves him closer to Taemin, who smirks a little bit and holds out a hand that Kai shakes limply.
“The answer is still no,” he tells Luhan.
“If you just try it, at least for the rest of tonight, I’ll let you leave the party right now and not nag at you for leaving early for the next month,” Luhan replies, raising an eyebrow.
Kai really wants to leave the party.
~ ~ ~
“I’m sorry about Luhan doing this,” Kai tells Taemin in the elevator down, “He meddles more in my life than my mom, and that’s probably an issue.”
“It’s fine,” Taemin smiles, revealing a neat row of pearly white teeth, “I need the money, and he’s basically paying me triple my monthly rent just to hang out with you, so it’s not like it’s a pain.”
“How do you know Luhan, anyway?” Kai asks, tilting his head at Taemin, eyes tracing the angular features, the smooth slopes and plains that form a face which could easily belong on a billboard or magazine.
“I’ve bumped into him clubbing quite a few times,” Taemin responded.
The elevator lands on the ground floor with a quiet ding before Kai can ask a follow up question to the vague answer, and Taemin walks out first. Kai is struck by the grace in his movement, is suddenly very sure that Taemin is either a dancer or danced a lot in the past, but keeps his hunch to himself.
“Um, how did you get here? I… could drive you home?” Kai offers, sweeping the other with an uncertain glance.
“You can drive me, but not home,” Taemin says, tapping his fingers against his side. “I’m not going to feel like I got paid for nothing. We’re going clubbing.”
“We’re not even dressed for it,” Kai protests weakly, a slight sheen of sweat rising on the back of his neck at the word ‘club.’ The last time he had been in a club was when Luhan dragged him to one. They had both gotten very drunk and very stupid, and the end result had been awkwardness between them for over a month before they’d both agreed to get over themselves; Kai had even gone out on several drab dates with a girl his sister introduced to him, just to prove a point. “Me and clubbing have a bad history,” he sums up lamely, walking towards the stairs that led down to the parking garage.
“Clubbing and I,” Taemin corrects, almost unconsciously, tacking on “and we’ll be fine if we take off our blazers and ties.”
Kai shakes his head.
“Clubbing and I,” he says, “have a very bad history that I really don’t care to repeat. Why don’t we just go out for dinner?”
“I ate at the party.” Taemin sounds amused.
“Yeah, in which portions are approximately the size of my pinky nail,” Kai snorts. “I know a really good samgyupsal place that’s a ten minute drive from here.” He steers Taemin towards his car, an unobtrusive black sedan.
“A lot of black,” Taemin observes.
“I was going through a morbid phase when I bought this car and liked it enough that I didn’t resell it when I got over my post-pubescent crisis,” Kai explains, scratching his neck self-consciously, trying very desperately to not mentally note how gorgeous Taemin looked, his skin an expanse of ivory against the black leather interior of his car.
Clearing his throat, Kai starts up the car and silently cruises out of the parking structure, feeling strangely tense, like there’s something he’s forgetting.
Oh right. Luhan is still a little brat, even if Taemin seems pretty chill.
~~~
“How did it go Taeminnie?”
“He’s gorgeous and he dances and his manners aren’t actually all that bad,” Taemin tells Luhan, sipping his coffee. Luhan’s eyes brighten from across the table.
“He’s also one-hundred percent straight,” Taemin glares. “Thanks a lot for dangling the perfect someone I can’t have right in front of my face Lulu. Really. It’s very helpful.”
Luhan suppresses a giggle.
“Oh I don’t know about that.” he tosses two movie tickets to Taemin. “Take him out for a movie, then get him drunk, and then re-assess how straight you think he is.”
~~~
“Hey Kai-ssi.”
“Yes Taemin-ssi?”
“Nevermind.”
~~~
“Hey Taemin-ssi.”
“Kai-ssi?”
“Luhan just gave me two movie tickets and demanded I go watch a movie with you so… are you free any time this week? I mean, its fine if you’re not, but Luhan’s being unusually annoying about this so, but I mean it’s fine if you’re busy or something, it’s totally fine -“
“It’s fine, Kai, I’m free the day after tomorrow. What do you want to go see?”
~~~
“Are you trying to get me drunk, Taemin-ssi?” Kai makes a grab at another bottle of soju.
“Why, is it working?”
“No, not really.”
~~~
They end up on the couch, legs tangled together, shirts hastily scrabbled off and thrown onto the floor. Taemin growls at Kai’s skinny jeans, which refuses to be pulled down, and Kai laughs breathlessly and helps him. Taemin’s capris are tossed away with far less effort. Taemin pauses in the middle of sucking on Kai’s tongue to swear.
“Fuck, you won’t have any lube will you.”
“Check the drawer,” Kai breathes, and ignores the quest for lube in favor of mouthing at Taemin’s neck, feeling ridiculously accomplished when the other stills, and squirms a bit on top of him.
“Why do you have lube in your drawer when you were convinced you were straight three hours ago?”
Kai shrugs, fingers sneaking into Taemin’s boxers.
“Luhan stashes them here when he thinks I don’t notice,” he explains. Taemin laughs, murmurs, “Well thank god for Luhan,” and then Kai is kissing him again, a hand tightening on Taemin’s cock, and they don’t waste time in talking after that.
~~~
“So how did it go?”
“I hate you Luhan.”
“C’mon, so you got smashed. What happened?”
“…how did you know I got drunk?”
“…”
“You planned this with Taemin didn’t you you little brat.”
~~~
“I took advantage of him and he hates me now,” Taemin sighs into his cup of coffee, and makes the effort to lift his eyes up to Luhan’s stupidly innocent face in order to glare at him for emphasis.
“No he doesn’t, he’s just embarrassed. He’ll call you or text you within the week inviting you over to his house or something so you can ‘talk about what happened’ and then you’ll be fine.” Luhan smiles confidently.
“How do you predict him so well?” Taemin asks suspiciously.
“I have known him for over five years,” Luhan shrugs delicately. Becoming more serious, he glances at Taemin. “And because that’s how he reacted when the same thing happened with me two years ago. We got drunk and I got stupid, and when he asked me over to ‘talk about it’ I made the mistake of making a bunch of excuses and telling him we could just go back to being friends and pretend it never happened.”
Taemin stares.
Luhan smiles sadly.
“I’m with Sehun now, and it’s all good. But hold onto him, Taemin, because I was stupid enough to let him go.”
~~~
Kai thinks back to how he handled a similar situation between him and Luhan two years back and thinks he dealt with that just fine, and that similar tactics may be called for. He texts Taemin.
Wanna meet up at the samgyupsal place? ~
He adds a cute tilde to reduce the awkwardness and then immediately regrets the decision, but the text has already been sent so he can’t do anything about it.
The reply comes infuriatingly slow. And short. And glaringly without a teenage-girly tilde.
Sure. 8pm tonight?
To try to recover some of his dignity, Kai copies Taemin’s curtness.
Sure.
~~~
Taemin is already waiting when Kai arrives thirty minutes early. They both stare at each other awkwardly before Kai sits down and starts grilling the meat.
“If you get to know Luhan well enough, you’ll be able to discern which of his advice you should follow and which you shouldn’t,” Kai says, without looking up at Taemin.
“I thought you were supposed to be the socially awkward one,” Taemin ribs, and digs into his rice. Neither of them make eye contact, even when they reach for the grilling tongs at the same time. Kai lets Taemin take charge of the grilling.
“I’m decent around people I know,” Kai says. A silence rolls in between them, sticky and uncomfortable. Kai finds himself staring at a spot of pepper sauce on Taemin’s upper lip, wondering if it would be stupid and inappropriate and socially awkward to kiss it off.
“…should I have not followed Luhan’s advice on this particular matter?”
“I don’t know,” Kai finally says. “I don’t know.”
~~~
They end up going back to Kai’s apartment, wherein he confirms that Taemin is, in fact, a dancer, and they have an impromptu dance battle to Sexy Back in Kai’s dance studio. He pushes Taemin against the mirror and kisses him, a dozen things he leaves unsaid between his tongue and the roof of Taemin’s mouth, and thinks that maybe Luhan’s advice is sometimes worth following.