[for read0write] COMME get des DICK
Title: COMME get des DICK
For: read0write
Pairing: Luhan/Kris (Baekhyun/Lay, Xiumin/Suho, Tao/Sehun)
Rating: NC-17
Length: 10,043 words
Warnings: Mentions of daddy kink and unrecommended work etiquette.
Summary: Lu Han finds his boss ridiculously hot in suit and tie. His new year resolution is to sit on Kris’s lap and make out for like, eight hours straight or something.
Author's Note: Dear recipient, I didn’t do your prompt justice but I hope you like it all the same! ;~; The rough translation for ‘comme get des dick’ is ‘like get the dick’. Also, I don’t know why Minseok has been assigned the role of ‘coffee-drinker’ from start till finish (he probably peed a lot...). An alternative for the summary is: “I’m sorry I tried”. Those who have helped me with this, thank you! <3
Lu Han was having some problems at his new workplace. Or rather, it was just one big problem: his boss, Kris Wu, who was 6 foot 1 and looked so good in a Calvin Klein extreme slim fit that he should be illegal.
Though it wasn’t stated anywhere that it was against standard protocols for one to lust over their boss on the first day of work, Lu Han was sure that announcing his ‘lust at first sight’ to his new colleagues went along the lines of socially unacceptable.
“His name is Wu Yifan? More like Wu Yi Fine.”
Nobody laughed and Yixing, his high school classmate, decided then that being reunited with Lu Han, who still held traces of the popular kid who was always sweaty and stinky from soccer practices, was far from being something worth celebrating.
Kris was also pretty talented. He was fluent in three languages and a dialect, worked as a semi-professional model back in college, and - “Oh right, he was also basketball captain,” Yixing said, and Lu Han knew he was screwed. He wondered In what language will he have an orgasm? aloud and Minseok, who had been so unfortunate to take a sip of his drink then, almost died choking. While the others tended to Minseok, whose face was turning a very unhealthy shade of purple, Lu Han took the time to pray to every god he could name that the answer wouldn’t be Cantonese.
Well, there was only one way to find out.
***
That marked the start of Lu Han’s blatant ogling of Kris’ ass and the series of dreams that had him taking cold showers at seven in the morning.
“Can you be anymore obvious?” Yixing whispered from where he was pressed against the elevator door.
Elevator crowds were the worst and naturally, Lu Han wasn’t in a good mood.
“Can he be anymore oblivious?” he shot back.
The whole Finding His Boss Very Attractive thing wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Lu Han didn’t know how he could possibly find his way into Kris’ pants and blame it all on “sorry I was just trying to find the light switch” or something more ridiculous.
Befriending Kris wasn’t the hard part. (Lu Han discovered that Kris, despite his lack of facial expressions, was actually a big softie. “He collects alpaca plushies,” Lu Han told Yixing, “An alpaca plush collector shouldn’t be so fucking hot.”) Trying to decipher the signals he had been getting from Kris, though, was an entirely different matter.
***
“You want to what?”
Yixing couldn’t say he was surprised when Lu Han told him about his new year’s resolution. However, that didn’t stop him from acting it right down to the jaw-dropping, eye-popping scenario, and he even pretended to fall off his chair when Lu Han came running, having bulldozed over everything else standing in his path, right after Yixing whispered Kris’ name to Baekhyun.
Whenever Kris’ name was mentioned, one could always count on Lu Han to appear out of nowhere.
“He’s like a dog with a bone,” Minseok said.
“You mean a dog with a boner,” Baekhyun corrected.
Later, it was suggested that they get Minseok a new health insurance plan for his birthday. Everyone agreed that it would be for the best.
***
“Is he busy?”
Lu Han stopped trying to make up some excuse for Zitao to disclose Kris’ schedules. All it took was the limited edition Tokyo Mew Mew: Ichigo Mew Box. Lu Han had been made to swear not to tell anyone that Zitao actually burst into manly, unhysterical tears when Lu Han gave it to him.
“I don’t know. Is he?” Zitao didn’t even look up from his phone. “You probably know his schedule better than I do.”
Lu Han shook his head. “Is this how you should be talking to your elders? You should be treating me with utmost respect.”
“You lost that right when you told me your fantasy-of-the-day was to cum all over Kris’ face.”
Peering over Zitao’s shoulder, Lu Han saw that he was texting his boyfriend (who was still in high school), a boy called Sehun. Having lost a dare to Baekhyun, Zitao promised to introduce Sehun to his coworkers, but he had been stalling. Lu Han didn’t blame him. His co-workers were a bad lot. He reached out to tap on Zitao’s screen. Zitao remained unfazed when a smiling poop emoticon was sent to Sehun. Lu Han convinced himself that his act of maturity was winning him points instead of making him more of a joke in the younger man’s book.
Zitao’s just plain vanilla, he comforted himself. There was nothing wrong with wanting to slap Kris’ face with his dick and using that mental image to get off.
“What,” he muttered, “he’s hot.” Then, correcting himself, “I mean, he's pretty.”
“Yifan ge is not pretty.” Zitao looked up at him in disdain. “And you’re probably the only one who thinks that anyone can be prettier than you.” He went back to texting, but not before casually adding a question Lu Han suspected he had been dying to ask, “Just how many times have you been mistaken for a girl?”
“That has never happened before,” Lu Han answered all too quickly.
“I’ll never buy that bill.”
To Sehun, Zitao texted: Lu Han is a big fat liar, and Lu Han wondered if he could throw Zitao out of the window without anyone finding out. “Not that I’d buy any bill, but yeah.”
“You little shit,” Lu Han hissed. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Wow. Look who’s talking.”
Defenceless against the Zitao’s every bark and bite, Lu Han said, “Come on, just tell me if he’s inside.”
“He is,” Zitao sighed. “Now go.” For the fourth time that week, he gave Kris a silent apology for throwing him to the wolves. Wolf. Just Lu Han.
“Gonna call your loverboy when you’re supposed to be working?” Lu Han shook his head disapprovingly.
“At least I’m getting laid.”
***
“Knock knock,” Lu Han called out when he pulled the door open.
Kris looked up. “Lu Han? What are you doing here?” He knew better than to question why Zitao hadn’t buzzed him about Lu Han coming up to find him.
"There's something wrong with the accounts."
A frown. Kris had the habit of fidgeting with his tie, even when there was nothing worrying him, like he couldn't wait to take it off. Lu Han's mouth went dry as he imagined Kris with his hands tied by the skull-patterned tie - it would be burned afterwards.
"Lu Han?"
"Y - Yeah?"
Lu Han licked his lips to wet it. Kris' frown deepened. He didn't like repeating himself, or so Lu Han was told. "What’s wrong with the accounts?"
"Oh, yeah." He didn't know what he meant to achieve when he stepped up to stand next to Kris, but the effect was there. Kris tensed visibly when Lu Han reached out to point at the transaction records of the past two months. Their hands touched briefly. "There is some exaggeration of figures. Inaccuracies. I checked with Minseok and he said he'll look into it as soon as he can."
Kris leaned back, looking a little uncomfortable, confused. "So why are you telling me this?"
“Because you’re the boss?” Lu Han shrugged. "Just thought you should know."
"You could've just dropped an email, you know? Or something. You didn't have to - "
"Come on," Lu Han placed a hand on Kris' shoulder. Amusement shone in his eyes when Kris' mouth snapped shut. "It's no big deal. You're a floor away. Real quick, no hassle. Plus, technology is evil. It hates me."
"Too twenty-first century for you, huh?"
For the first time since Lu Han stepped into the room, Kris grinned. He looked really silly with that gummy smile of his. Lu Han's world would go all lopsided whenever Kris did that. It made him feel funny inside, like back in college when he would expect his roommate to give him the usual hard-boiled egg and ended up getting a sunny side up instead. It wasn't a bad funny. He just didn't think he should like it so much.
"Shut up," he said. Kris' smile grew wider, sillier. "And listen, you’re treating me to lunch."
"For what? For teasing you about your age?"
"For being an asshole." Kris laughed and let Lu Han pull him out of the office, albeit looking rather unsure. "But hey, at least you're a rich asshole. So I suppose that makes you a good friend."
***
“Did you hear?”
Lu Han looked up from his work, “Hear what?” He stifled a yawn and stretched, happy to be distracted from an endless list of numbers that was starting to give him a headache.
From where he sat on Baekhyun’s table, Yixing cleared his throat. “Minseok took Junmyeon home last night.” Beside him, Baekhyun looked torn between laughing and throwing up and Lu Han shared the dilemma.
“As in, they,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “they are together together?”
Yixing nodded.
“That’s unfair!” Lu Han didn’t want to be the only one who was sexy, free and single like that ridiculous Super Junior song. He didn’t realize he was shouting until Minseok, who was at the pantry getting coffee, poked his head around the door to ask what was unfair. “Nothing!” Lu Han answered, then turned back to Yixing and Baekhyun, who were struggling to keep a straight face. He went back to whispering, “What on earth does he see in Junmyeon?”
“Never pegged you to be the office gossip type, Lu Han ge,” Baekhyun teased, rolling the word ‘ge’ on his tongue playfully. “And come on, there’s nothing wrong with Junmyeon. He’s got a great smile.”
Lu Han scoffed, “If you’re a fan of man-eating titans who like to run around stark naked, then sure, he’s got a great smile. I think he’s very pretentious. Fake. Unpleasant and - ”
“And I think you’re just bitter because he was Kris’ ex.”
There were times when Lu Han was glad that there was someone in this world who knew him the way Yixing did. This was not one of those times. He almost raised his voice before remembering what happened two minutes ago and the golden rule that one should never shout when engaging in office gossip. “I’m not bitter,” he bit out. The awful taste in his mouth said otherwise and from the looks he received from both Yixing and Baekhyun, they knew it too.
“Say what you will, Lu Han, you are still the Bitterest Bachelor Of The Year.” Baekhyun, upon saying this, turned to grin at Yixing. If Yixing was going to mouth the words I love you, baby at Baekhyun again, Lu Han was actually going to throw up.
“I never should’ve matchmade you two,” he said, eyes narrowed angrily.
“Matchmade who?” Minseok’s voice drifted in with the smell of coffee and with that, the previous conversation between the three was over.
“Nobody,” Lu Han sniffed. He really didn’t want to talk to Minseok today.
“Okay,” Minseok said, frowning in confusion. There was something weird about the atmosphere and his gut feeling told him he had interrupted yet another episode of Lu Han Being Butthurt Because He Wasn’t Getting Laid. Except people shouldn’t be getting butthurt when they weren’t even getting any in the first place, right? Ever the wise one, Minseok chose to keep these thoughts to himself. “I’ll just, sit here...and drink my coffee.”
An hour passed and Baekhyun was the first to break the agonising silence in the room. "Alright, stop walking back and forth. It's getting really annoying." He made sure to grab an unused plastic folder in case Lu Han went berserk again and threw something at him. The last time that happened, he went home with gum in his hair. The necessary haircut which followed was very unpleasant and nobody was allowed to speak of it ever again.
Minseok, on his way to replenish his cup, nodded his agreement. He also agreed (with his earlier thought) that a trip down to the department which Junmyeon headed was necessary. Everyone on the tenth floor was getting too testy and he needed some fresh air or else the tension was going to kill all his brain cells and he needed them to earn his keep, thank you very much.
Once Minseok was gone, Lu Han stopped pacing. He was, however, glaring at the door, as if it was its fault that Minseok had somehow started dating Kim Junmyeon, Kris’ ex-boyfriend, and that the head of their department was just going off to frolic around with his boyfriend and leave them, his most devoted subordinates, there to rot.
“You look kinda scary. Like you’re plotting someone’s death.” Lu Han gathered Yixing probably wouldn’t want to dirty his hands in helping Lu Han hide the body if that was really the case.
Scowling, Lu Han sat himself down on Yixing, ignoring the hands on his back, trying to push him away. Baekhyun, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind that Lu Han had planted his ass on his man. "I'm just trying to think of a plan," he explained.
Yixing stilled. Then, incredulously, "You can think?"
"One more word and I'll crush your balls, Zhang Yixing, and you know I mean it."
Next second, he was off Yixing's lap and on the floor. Unbothered, he sat up cross-legged. He squinted at the place Yixing was trying to cover with his hands.
"Stop squinting at Yixing's manhood, will you?" Baekhyun sounded amused. "Just tell us what you're planning so we can all pretend to be busy when you come calling for assistance."
Lu Han never doubted that he could always count on them.
***
“You should try some of the pick-up lines - ”
“That Junmyeon used on you? Thanks, but no thanks.”
Minseok frowned, much offended that Lu Han had shot him down mid-sentence, “They were pretty effective.”
“They are pick-up lines,” Lu Han deadpanned, “How can they possibly be effective? Pick-up lines are never effective.”
“I think you’re confusing pick-up lines with ‘I am in lust with Kris’,” Yixing cut in, “because I’m quite sure that is the most effective if you want to chase people away.”
Lu Han shot back, “And look who’s still around.”
Yixing shrugged. “Not by choice.”
Well, he was handcuffed to Lu Han’s chair. “Don’t ask,” Lu Han hissed when Minseok stared long and hard at the handcuff and was just about to open his mouth to speak.
Earlier on, Baekhyun had stormed out of the office, muttering darkly under his breath about something along the lines of ‘printing room’, ‘stupid Chinese boyfriend’ and ‘stupid Chinese boyfriend’s new best friend’. Lu Han should be feeling guilty since he was the reason Baekhyun was venting his anger on the printing machines next door, but he was truly desperate for ideas and if Baekhyun’s wrath would give him some, he would gladly incur all of it. Minseok winced when a particularly loud bang came from the next room. He might have to call for someone to fix the printers tomorrow.
“Here you go!”
Lu Han ended up getting a handful of internet printouts, ranging from ‘10 surefire ways to get your man!’ and ‘Mama knows best!’ to ‘Want to go at it like bunnies in heat? Here’s the secret!’.
“Wipe that smile of your face, you stupid deer of dawn,” Baekhyun snapped. “Now give me the key to the handcuffs. Give me the handcuffs too, I think I’ll have uses for it.”
Yixing looked like he was going to faint.
***
You either have to tell or show him/her what you want. Confess and confront.
Lu Han didn’t plan on laying out the truth in the washroom, of all places. It just happened. He walked in and there Kris was, zipping up his pants and washing his hands after giving Lu Han a smile. The place was public, unsanitary, and there was the sharp smell of detergent, and If there was any surprise in all this, it was only that Lu Han didn’t give a damn anymore.
“Hey,” Kris said as a way of greeting. “Can you tell Baekhyun to stop sending silly chain mails to everyone? I should probably sack him for sending that scary gif of the headless girl, but he’s pretty good at what he does and I don’t want Yixing getting mad at me for firing his boyfriend.” He laughed, as if he had just said something funny, but Lu Han didn’t even smile.
It was the friendliness that grated on him. There was a whiff of something more, but just a whiff.
Anyone could walk in on them anytime, but it was the last concern on his mind. The first: wanting to strip Kris of his fancy-brand clothing.
"Lu Han, wha - "
It was as if, by speaking, Kris had made up Lu Han’s mind for him.
Lu Han didn't think. He just went with it. He grabbed hold of Kris' collars and dragged him close, so close he could count Kris' lashes and measure the angle of the slope of his nose.
A close-lipped kiss, most discreet transfer of temperature, a thesis. The next kiss was proven theory.
Lu Han caught Kris' mouth, trying to remember the shape and taste of his lips. He then bit and tugged on Kris' bottom lip, relishing in the gasp that gave him the chance for a stronger taste. Champagne - stars in fancy bottles, saliva (saliva just tasted like saliva, however it was glorified for the sake of romance), and hesitation. The last was a little bitter. He wanted it gone by the third kiss, and the fourth, the fifth and everything else to follow.
He couldn't help comparing Kris to the soccer captain he had kissed back in his first year of college. Kris wasn't a good kisser - inexperienced (and something inside Lu Han stirred), but he fell pliant easily, and Lu Han liked watching the fight leave his limbs in a quiet surrender. The soccer captain had wanted every bit of his ego and authority intact, having pegged Lu Han as just another 'pretty face'. Lu Han couldn't remember if he had actually broken that guy's nose or not. He only remembered being unofficially banned from the team. By then, he had lost his desires to play for the Red Devils, so he didn't exactly care. Plus, he had bigger priorities: doing well for midterms and finding boys who won't be delusional enough to think of Lu Han as a doll they could play with then throw away like he was worth nothing. He wouldn't let anyone treat him that way and as years went by, he made sure of that for his friends too.
Kris' kissing skills paled in comparison, but it was okay, because Lu Han actually liked it this way.
“Lu Han, we shouldn’t - ”
“Shut up.”
It was messy, filthy, and it messed with Lu Han's brain as much as it did with his body, if his half-hard cock was an indication to go by.
In between one kiss and the next, Kris caught his breath but couldn’t speak. Lu Han was doing something with his hand, somewhere between his thighs, and his ribs were strangling his lungs. It was impossible to make sense of anything. His body was alit with the promise of Lu Han’s hands everywhere on him, but there was also a thought nagging at him.
It was getting harder to think, everything muffled by the lust coursing in their veins, but when Lu Han’s hand was reaching into Kris’ pants, he was shoved away.
Hurt flashed in his eyes and he looked at Kris’ questioningly, but the taller man refused to meet his eyes. The air was thick with the residuals of their last kiss and Kris’ rejection.
***
[9:56 AM]
Yixing: You not coming today? Are you sick?
Lu Han placed his phone aside without replying. He was wearing the oversized t-shirt he sometimes slept in and he was still nursing a headache from drinking too much the night before. His room was as dark as night; he had drawn the curtains because the sunlight only made him see white spots and that was also the reason he hadn’t turned the lights on.
Brooding in the silence, he slowly traced a finger up the shimmery grayness of a fading memory, letting it rest in the accordion pinch of self-doubt and teenage heart breaks. He knew where his insecurities rested, so it was easy digging them out to inspect them. Alarm bells started ringing when he realized, quite abruptly, that Kris tended to bring out the best and worst of his memories - his worries, his regrets and dreams he thought he had already given up on.
There he sat, hugging his pillow, and it wasn’t until his stomach started growling that he stirred awake once more. He ignored the demands of his body, and by the time it was time for dinner, he was nearly sick with hunger. His day of drinking had deepened his already sour mood.
And so the pain brought back his anger.
It was all Kris’ fault for being tall, handsome and nice to boot. It was Kris who sent Lu Han spinning out of axis, making him think things he shouldn’t, do things he shouldn’t, and want things he never had.
A sudden depression filled him and it helped him to unheated leftovers from the day before. He wasn’t so worried about falling ill. It gave him a proper reason to skip work for a few more days. Wolfing down his meal in a futile attempt to replace the sadness with something else, he was stuffed with so many things at once and starved of thing things he truly desired. He threw his fork down and it made a huge clang against the plate, reminded that he shouldn’t be thinking about a certain someone and the emotions said certain someone had so effortlessly invoked in him.
Before night claimed him as hers once more, Lu Han was finally feeling a buzz from all the alcohol, painkillers, and the realization that he was very close to discovering something important about himself.
It wasn’t funny, but still, he laughed for a good while before gradually sobering up and falling asleep.
***
“He’s expecting you.”
For once, Zitao wasn’t texting anyone and ignoring Lu Han’s presence. He was staring at Lu Han when Lu Han stopped in front of his desk. On normal days, Lu Han would have assumed that Zitao wanted something from him which explained why he wasn’t treating Lu Han like he was invisible. Except it wasn’t a normal day and he knew that Zitao wasn’t acknowledging the existence of a guy named Lu Han who looked ten years younger than his actual age simply because he wanted to earn a free meal out of it (or better yet, some limited edition cosplayer shit that was being auctioned on ebay). Zitao was acting this way because Kris probably hadn’t been living life as a happy little bumblebee. Lu Han couldn’t, for the love of all things DBSK-related, comprehend why Kris was moping around when he had been the one who had left Lu Han standing in the middle of the washroom, feeling like an utter fool.
“What happened between you two?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lu Han snapped. He was surprised by the tone of his voice, but it was too late. He was in no mood to apologize for that.
Luckily, Zitao didn’t take offense. He knew Lu Han a little too well to bear grudge over something so fickle. “Okay,” he said simply, “Do you want me to tell him you’re here or…”
“There’s no need for that.”
He knew that the rumors would begin once he stepped into Kris’ office. There were going to be a ton of wild guesses about what had gone on between Kris and him. Baekhyun was probably going to place his bet on Kris and Lu Han getting physical (not that kind) in the office, and that Lu Han was probably nursing a few broken bones under all that bravado. He wouldn’t be completely wrong.
Before Lu Han left the waiting room, Zitao gave him a look that said he hadn’t heard the end of this.
***
Nothing in Kris’s office was out of place. His desk was cluttered and his curtains were drawn and the view outside was breathtaking as ever. The clock on the wall was ticking and the whole space still smelled of coffee and printer ink. The door still creaked when Lu Han closed it behind him.
The atmosphere, however, had changed. Kris looked up when Lu Han came in. He looked neither surprised nor happy about it.
“Here you go.” Lu Han decided against throwing the file at Kris and instead placed it on top of Kris’ shut laptop. “If there’s anything that needs to be fixed, Minseok hyung said you should email him directly.” In other words, Lu Han was going to wash his hands off all business that would require him to make a trip down to Kris’ office. It was a drastic contrast with how things were before.
“Thank you.” Kris’ morose expression didn’t change. He was acting like Lu Han had killed his beloved cat except one, Lu Han didn’t kill anyone’s cat and two, Kris hadn’t even got a cat in the first place.
“Yeah. No problem. I’m paid to do this, anyway,” Lu Han deadpanned. He wanted to get out of here but Kris had yet to give him the okay-go.
Kris was quiet for a while, brewing in his thoughts. His coffee was going cold and Lu Han was getting restless, but he didn’t pay any mind to either. His fingers were tapping against the table and it was a really annoying habit. Actually, everything about Kris was annoying to Lu Han right now. Even the way his brows were furrowed, the way he breathed, and the way he looked to meet Lu Han’s eyes -
“Are you okay?”
His question came from nowhere. It made Lu Han want to laugh because he didn’t understand the purpose of it. Was he asking if Lu Han was okay when he had been the reason behind all the anger, all the pain? That was cruel of him.
It was Lu Han’s turn to hesitate, to brew. He reminded himself again not to be a sentimental slob. Holding Kris’ gaze, he said, “No, sir. I’m not okay.” and gained a little satisfaction when Kris’ stoic expression faltered.
It shouldn’t have felt like a battle won, but at this point in time, Lu Han couldn’t care less.
***
For the whole evening, Lu Han could feel Kris’ eyes following him around the room. He tried not to spent too much time at one spot, and so he busied himself with talking to the people he knew and being introduced to the ones he didn’t. Whenever he turned around in an attempt to catch Kris in the act, Kris would go back to the people he was speaking to and act as if he hadn’t been staring.
Lu Han couldn’t help it; he soured visibly each time that happened.
“What’s wrong?” Yixing, in the guise of grabbing himself a drink, joins him by the side. He looked concerned. Lu Han didn’t want anyone looking concerned because of him.
“Nothing.”
“Liar,” Yixing tried to take Lu Han’s drink from him but Lu Han won’t let him. “You’re brooding.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” Yixing took a moment to disentangle himself from the conversation he was drawn into before coming back. He gave Lu Han a long, searching look, turned around to scan the room, then looked back at Lu Han again. “Ah,” he clapped his hands together in realization, “It’s Kris, isn’t it?”
“No!” Regretting his outburst, Lu Han took a big swallow of drink and tried to drown his feelings with his next swallow. “Who is Kris,” he muttered darkly, glaring at his shoes as if they had somehow let him down, “I don’t know a Kris.” For effect, he added, “Whoever this Kris guy you’re talking about is, I don’t know him.”
Even to him, he sounded so obvious it was pathetic.
Then, somehow, as if he shared some weird telepathic connection with Yixing (knowing them, he probably did), Baekhyun walked towards them with a reluctant Kris in tow. Lu Han’s heart sank when he saw that Kris had a smile ready for Yixing and nothing, not even a nod of acknowledgement, for him. Baekhyun pulled Yixing away, not forgetting to give Lu Han a thumbs up, whatever that was supposed to mean.
It has been days - weeks, maybe, Lu Han had simply stopped keeping track - since they last spoke. Lu Han hated that Kris looked mighty fine as ever, hair slicked back and wearing a simple red rose with his suit. There was a sudden, overwhelming urge to grab the rose and crush it under his feet, and that was his cue to take deep breaths because getting violent with a mere fashion accessory wasn’t going to win him favors with Santa this Christmas. That thought did not just lead him to think about Kris in nothing but a ribbon around his neck, best gift he could ever get, no, of course not.
“Hi.”
Kris spoke first. It wasn’t that good a thing because that meant Lu Han had to come up with a reply. A better option, he thought, was to drop down and play dead. It was either that or to throw his drink at Kris’ face and ruin that million dollar suit.
“Hi.” In his head it sounded a lot more like alkhdaswellfUCKYOUTOOalkshd.
Constipation wasn’t a good look on Kris (nor is it ever a good look for anyone else, Lu Han included). “Yeah. How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been great,” Lu Han replied, hoping Kris won’t see his clenched fists. The conversation had barely started and already, for some reason, it was getting frustrating. Kris was frustrating. Everything about Kris and how much Lu Han wanted him was frustrating.
“Good. I’m glad.” Politeness was a clever weapon and with it, Kris seemed to have placed them miles apart and Lu Han hated that.
Dropping the act of civility, he took a step back. If distance was what Kris wants, then it was going to be what he gets. “Are you?”
A flash of anger passed through Kris’ features; then he was grabbing and dragging Lu Han out of the room.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“What do you want?” He took a labored breath, footsteps messy as they rounded the corner and ended up at the staircase spiraling down to where the entrance was. “Let go,” he said again.
“No.”
There was something else in Kris’ gaze. Lu Han felt anxiety slipping through his defense line and it was what made him wrench his hand from Kris’ grip. With a tinge of despair, he realized he had missed this - being face to face with Kris and being ravaged by this urge to make Kris his and to make himself Kris’.
Kris didn’t say anything. He was too wound up. Keeping his eyes on Lu Han, he ran a hand through his hair in silent frustration. Every slight change in the emotions he was feeling was reflected clearly on his face. Lu Han watched him closely. It felt as if he was watching his own emotions on playback, a silent film going on between them.
Footsteps broke their concentration.
“Lu Han,” Kris began, shaken out of his stupor, but Lu Han didn’t know if he wanted to listen to what he had to say.
He was afraid.
“Don’t.” It came out a whisper. The air kept leaving his body and his stomach seemed to have collapsed upon itself. He teared up, but he willed his eyes dry and said nothing else. He would rather walk on hot coals than cry like a baby, in front of Kris no less.
“I need to apologize, alright?” Kris said this quickly, scared that Lu Han would not give him just one chance. “I messed up,” he admitted, “but now I know. I owe you an apology. What happened...you know...that day, I’m sorry.”
Lu Han stared at him with eyes that had lost every trace of emotion. Kris’ expression was pained. He needed to say it all, however, so all he did was reach out for Lu Han’s hand. “I don’t want that. I don’t want something so,” he frantically searched for the words, “I don’t want something so fleeting. That’s not me. That’s not what I want.” He didn’t know why he was apologizing, but he did. “I’m sorry,” he said again. When he stopped talking, his breaths came out loudly, as if speaking so long had been an exertion.
There was an invisible bruise forming somewhere and while nothing was actually broken, Lu Han found that he couldn’t breathe through it. He felt bruised, bruised a faint purple, and where he was a little bitter, it throbbed painfully. He didn’t want to think too much about what Kris said, but it was hard not to. It was said so bluntly, like a thin blade slicing across, forcing him to taste copper and rejection, something he didn’t want to identify Kris with. When did things go so wrong?
He felt tense and exhausted. He needed a drink. Or two. Or an ocean of it to drown himself in. His vision was going fast, and his tongue was heavy. Gone like the wind, leaving Kris standing there to think through his words. “Fuck,” he said this with realization, eyes widening in horror when he understood how Lu Han had interpreted. He owed a much bigger apology now. He had meant to correct his previous mistake only to do something worse. The worst. He didn’t want it to be too late for him to turn everything around.
***
Rain fell intermittently, then darkness. By the time headlights appeared by his side, Lu Han was soaked and cold. He didn’t have to look to know who it was.
“Get in.”
Lu Han kept walking. The wind grew stronger and he couldn’t stop the cold from burrowing deep, finding refuge in his marrows.
Kris made a sound of frustration. “Han, you’ll catch a cold. Get in.” A pause. “Please?”
Lu Han stuttered in his next step. He didn't know if it was an effect of the Kris’ tone or if it was the nickname, ‘Han’ - only his parents called him that when he was young and with time, the affection it held had faded away. He shook his head to free himself of the memories latching on.
He stopped walking, having made up his mind. Behind the half-unrolled car window, Kris smiled. Lu Han got in slowly, chewing on the inside of his mouth.
Now, riding shotgun next to Kris, he was taking care to remember everything in the confined space. The scent of the air freshener, the songs playing on the radio, and the way Kris would glance to him every now and then, as if he was comforted by Lu Han’s presence in the car. It would be hard to let go of this fleeting moment of reassurance.
At the next red light, Kris reached out to mute the radio and Lu Han, caught in a daze, was startled by his sudden movement. Kris also adjusted the air conditioner so that it wasn’t blowing straight at Lu Han. A small spark flickered to life, growing into a flame spreading from within.
The lights of Beijing passed by and he turned his gaze on them, trying not to watch the reflection of Kris on the window. They passed the national museum. “Where are we going?”
“My place.”
Lu Han stared, and Kris, noticing his gaze, didn’t make to explain. He squeezed his lips together and cleared his throat, then turned his attention back on the road.
This is Kris’ place, Lu Han thought.
He was so fucked.
(More like Kris was so fucked, but that’s later.)
***
The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was quiet. Lu Han was torn between making up an excuse to leave and wanting to stay. By the time the elevator door glided open with a ‘ding!’, it was too late for him to opt for the first option.
He found that Kris’ apartment was just like its owner. An awkward little kitchen flanked by a spacious balcony, a guest room shoved slotted next to the study, and long, purposeless hallways. It had a style that, warm as it was, didn’t give much away. It had a remarkable resemblance with Kris, who stood next to him as he surveyed the space.
The apartment was unnecessarily big for someone living by himself, but it wasn’t designed to be extravagant, which Lu Han liked. Instead, Kris had left his touch everywhere - the neon yellow wine cooler by the television set, the explosion of colors on the wall by the dining table with a single chair, and the few photo frames resting next to the basketball-shaped coffee table.
Another thing Lu Han noticed was that the apartment seemed otherwise untouched. Nothing meant for visitors or family members dropping by. As if he could read his mind, Kris said, “I don’t really like having anyone over.”
He said it matter-of-factly, and with a sinking feeling, Lu Han realized that he was probably just a part of ‘anyone’. When he turned to face Kris, he shoved that thought aside. He didn’t want to overcomplicate things. They were complicated enough.
“So, what now?”
“I wanted to talk.” Kris had never felt so unsure in his own house.
Remembering what Kris had said back at the hotel only made Lu Han want to leave, so he shook his head, saying, “You’ve said enough.”
“Look,” Kris hurried. “You misunderstood, you see?”
“No. I don’t see.”
Kris looked anxious. “Give me another chance to explain, please?”
Lu Han said nothing, and Kris took it as a ‘yes’.
“You probably thought that was another rejection, and I’m sorry for making you think that. When I said that I didn’t want something so fleeting, I meant that...I want more. I want so much more.”
More?
“You’re driving me crazy, you know? You’re always sending mixed signals and I never know whether or not you’re serious about the things you say. The touches? The looks? I didn’t know if you wanted what I wanted. I was afraid. I didn’t want it to be an once-off thing, Lu Han, because I don’t believe in that. When I let someone in, they’re in for good. I don’t want them to leave.” The more he spoke, the more unsure he looked, and Lu Han was tempted to reach out and soothe the brows that were knitted into a frown. He wanted to kiss Kris’ insecurity - and his own - away.
“Do you see it now?”
He did.
Kris was so tall, Lu Han thought, how unfair. He had his blazer off, but he was still wearing his tie and it was crooked. Lu Han stepped forth, took Kris’ tie in his hands, and Kris was expecting him to adjust it, or to take it off, but Lu Han didn’t do either. Instead, he used it to drag Kris towards him, like it was a leash, and it shouldn’t be a turn on except it was.
“You’re thinking too loudly.” He laughed when Kris muttered an apology and accepted it by drawing the other in for a kiss. It started slow, unhurried, and Lu Han stifled another laugh when Kris licked his lips tentatively. He reached out to pull Kris down for more. The kiss suddenly turned desperate when Kris slipped his hands under Lu Han’s shirt and spreaded his palms over Lu han’s back. The tremble in his hands - a vulnerability - had Lu Han sucking in a deep breath. Kris felt really warm and like moth to flame, Lu Han arched into him.
“Bedroom?” Kris pulled away long enough to ask.
“Yes.”
***
For a moment, Lu Han just kneeled there on the bed, drinking in the sight of Kris in all his naked glory. Kris held his gaze and Lu Han found that he couldn’t look away, that he wouldn’t look away. There was beauty in the way Kris relaxed into the sheets, relinquishing himself for the taking. Lu Han was so taken with the urge to fuck Kris; to fuck him so hard that he wouldn’t be able get out of bed the next day. He had to remind himself to breathe.
Kris was still, as though held in a trance, but his gaze never left Lu Han. Lu Han’s stare brought a heat and it stained his chest, which only made Lu Han stare at him some more.
Unable to help himself, Luhan blurted, “Fuck, you’re really pretty.”
Kris laughed, a little out of breath. “Me? Pretty?”
Lu Han nodded, eyes hooded by desire. “Not to say you are pretty like a girl,” he explained. He ran his hands up the length of Kris’ legs, basking in the way they twitched at his gentle touch. “I just think you’re pretty. In a masculine way. And I should buy you a dress. You’re cute, too. And really hot.”
Kris was many things on his list.
“Just know that it’s a good thing,” he murmured as he lowered his body, lips reaching Kris’ stomach. He kissed the sensitive skin, watching intently as it contracted in reaction to his fleeting touches. He trailed his lips higher and higher until he could nibble on Kris’ neck; kissing it, open-mouthed and hungry. Their erections brushed when Lu Han let his complete weight rest on Kris and the man groaned, eyes squeezing shut. He grabbed the back of Lu han’s head and pulled at his hair.
The pain of Kris’ tugging, along with the kiss that was rough round the edges as they bit and sucked, made Lu Han moan into Kris’ mouth. It was a good minute or so before they pulled apart, chests heaving and lips swollen.
“Next time,” Lu Han said, licking his lips, “you can be the one to call me pretty. I won’t like it, I think, but it’s you, so it’s okay. Then I can call you daddy. Or master, whichever you prefer.”
Kris’ eyes were wide, but he didn’t seem adverse to the idea, so Lu Han went on, smiling reassuringly. He was being rather generous.
“Maybe you can spank me for being naughty, or I can be the one to please you after a tiring day at work. We can switch things up, see? It’s interesting. Are you okay with that?”
A pause. Then, Kris nodded.
Grinning, Lu Han kissed him on the nose. “For now, however, I’m in charge.” He pondered aloud, suddenly remembering the material resting in the back pocket of his pants. “Will you mind if I tie your hands together?”
Kris froze, but then he shook his head, cheeks visibly red. He broke eye contact, turning away and Lu Han’s heart thudded. Faintly, Luhan could hear the occasional chatter of people out on the streets and a bike speeding past. He brought his attention back to Kris, only to see that his cock had hardened enough to curve ever so slightly, a little drop of precum at the tip.
Lu Han decided that he would get to that soon, but for now, he had other matters to attend to. He reached into his back pocket for his tie, the one he had taken off after leaving the event in a hurry, and Kris gulped visibly. Luhan wasn’t sure if Kris was having second guesses. Would he seriously like the idea of being tied up? But it wasn’t the time to dwell on such a thing and besides, Kris had already given his permission.
“We need a safe word.”
Kris startled. He didn’t think they would need one, but Lu Han was strict on that rule and Kris could appreciate that. “Ace,” he muttered, cheeks flaming.
“Poker?” Lu Han, curious, chanced a guess.
“No.” Kris didn’t think his face could get any redder. “It’s my...alpaca.”
Lu Han blinked, briefly processing what Kris just said, before he laughed. “Definitely cute.”
Kris scowled, but it was wiped off his face as soon as Lu Han straddled his waist.
“Hands together, above your head,” Lu Han said, his tone softly commanding. Kris obediently put his hands where Lu Han instructed, body flushing. Lu Han watched from the corner of his eye, seeing Kris bite his lip as the older man’s chest neared the his face.
Lu Han wrapped the silk around Kris’ bony wrists, before making a special knot. It was tight enough to restrain, but Kris could, with his own hands, pull it apart easily. However, Lu Han was almost certain it wouldn't have to come to that.
Once finished, Lu Han straightened and gave Kris a deliberately coy smile. Kris should know what was coming up next, because he was looking at Lu Han with such an intense gaze, eyes holding trust amongst other things. The pure intensity of the gaze proved to be too overwhelming for Lu Han in that moment, so he looked away, down at his hands, but still felt Kris’ gaze lingering on him.
Lu Han wet his lips, before he hopped off of Kris. He stood to the side of the bed and Kris turned his head to watch him curiously, mouth dropping open as Lu Han suddenly popped open the button of his pants, before turning around.
The older man gave a subpar strip tease; quickly pulling his pants off and hooking his thumbs into his underwear to drag them down as well, bending at the hips to pull the material from his ankles. He felt victorious, knowing that Kris’ gaze was on his bare ass, and hearing the man let out an exceptionally loud exhale caused his mouth to form a smug grin. He planned his moves carefully and reaped satisfaction from the heat of Kris’ gaze.
Now that the both of them were equally naked and with Kris’ hands securely tied together, Lu Han wasted no time in climbing back onto the bed, settling himself in between Kris’ long legs, and trailing his fingers all over the younger man’s body.
He was a tourist tracing a map, only this time he was settling down for good.
There was delight in going slow, bringing Kris so close to the edge with his subtle touches, then stopping short. Goosebumps broke out all over Kris’ skin, both from the cold and from Lu Han’s ministrations. Kris closed his eyes, confusion evident in the furrow of his brows as Lu Han’s fingers whispered promises in the way they touched and pressed into sensitive places all over his body.
Lu Han closed in on Kris, leaning forward and placing his forearms on either side of Kris’ head. He then lowered his entire body down. Kris, completely pinned, stared at Lu Han with now wide eyes. Unable to resist the look in his eyes - deep brown orbs holding trust and something else, something more; he swooped down and pulled Kris into a kiss. It was deep, so deep that there was no going back.
So taken by the kiss, Kris didn’t hear the sound of Lu Han making a grab for the lube, didn’t hear the sound of a cap popping open. A lube coated finger suddenly probed at Kris’ entrance and he tensed, just for a moment, before he forced himself to relax under Lu Han’s ministrations. The older man was meticulous, staying in tune for any signs of discomfort, before inserting a second finger, crooking them upwards and never breaking the liplock. Lu Han prepared Kris slowly, carefully, with no intention of teasing.
By the time Lu Han pulled his fingers from Kris’ ass, the kiss had turned sloppy. Both of them were distracted by the sudden feeling of delicious, slow penetration, Lu Han’s dick sliding into the tight, tight heat of Kris’ body.
“F - Fuck,” Kris said, his voice raspy. The pain of being stretched to accommodate Lu Han’s girth only made it so much better. He strained against the bondage trapping his hands above his head, but he made no further move to free himself.
“That’s the agenda,” Lu Han replied, grinning through the sweat breaking out on his forehead.
Kris writhed on the bed as Lu Han started moving; slowly and tenderly. “Lu Han,” Kris gasped, and Lu Han had never heard the sound of his name uttered so sexily before. The thought caused him to pick up the speed of his hips, his skin slapping against Kris’ just a little harder, a little faster.
Kris was panting and tensing briefly under Lu Han when the older man’s fingernails dug into the skin of his hips. The pain caused Kris to tense, his hole tightening deliciously around Lu Han’s cock. Lu Han almost choked, the feeling of being sheathed inside the taller man’s clenching body almost too much to bear. He breathed harshly through his nose, trying to hold off on his impending orgasm, but it was proving to be very difficult; especially with the way Kris was whimpering at every hard thrust.
Kris struggled for breath as Lu Han pounded into him. His eyes were closed, cheeks flushed, and Lu Han watched, completely mesmerized. Kris’ pretty pink lips were parted and glistening enticingly, Lu Han’s thrusts tearing ragged moans of pleasure from them.
Lu Han revelled in the sounds that left Kris’ mouth when he trailed a hand up his chest, hovering over and pressing briefly only to hear a slight hitch in his breath, before curling into the hairs at the nape of his neck. Before Kris could react, Lu Han was tugging on his hair, baring Kris’ neck to him. The skin of Kris’ neck was soft, veins visible and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
Lu Han licked his lips and leaned down, his thrusts unwavering as he first pressed gentle kisses and nips along the slender column, before biting a little harder when he reached Kris’ jugular. Kris keened, the sound vibrating against Lu Han’s mouth and Kris struggled against his silk confines. He was tearing up, overwhelmed by the pleasure, overwhelmed by everything Lu Han was doing to him.
“I am going to ruin you, and you’d like that, don’t you?” Lu Han whispered. That made it even harder for Kris to hold himself up. Lu Han’s words had the effect he desired; Kris looked like he wanted to beg for mercy, beg for more.
Without any warning, Lu Han sank his teeth, hard, into Kris’ shoulder, and Kris groaned; hoarse and utterly wrecked. He was perfect. The sound went straight to Lu Han’s dick, causing him to stutter in his thrusts.
Lu Han knew that Kris’ orgasm was near, as he felt Kris tense and tighten around him, his walls fluttering helplessly around Lu Han’s cock. He quickly pressed his mouth to Kris’. A sharp, abrupt thrust against his prostate forced Kris to whimper into the kiss and clench his eyes shut. His mouth opened enough for Lu Han to push his tongue inside.
Lu Han’s tongue snaked around Kris’ and the lack of oxygen was making them slightly dizzy. Kris groaned into Lu Han’s mouth, trying to breathe through his nose, but to no avail. Lu Han trailed a hand down to wrap around Kris’ length, pumping him in time with his every thrust. Kris thrashed, crying out into their kiss, before he suddenly broke away, body tensing and attempting to curl in on itself as he came hard. Lu Han watched, enraptured, as Kris’ mouth parted in a silent scream, spurting all over Lu Han’s fist and onto his own stomach, sticky and white.
Lu Han came a beat later, his release hot as it painted Kris’ inner walls, causing the younger male to twitch from oversensitivity. Lu Han’s lips were still stinging from the kiss.
***
“By the way, I lied,” Kris said the second he came out of the bathroom. His hair was still dripping water. Most people didn’t look good coming out of the shower with wet hair plastered all over their face, but Kris looked like some Hugo Boss model and it was so ridiculous that Lu Han was tempted to look around for cameras.
“About what?”
“About not liking having anyone over,” Kris admitted. He looked down, a little embarrassed, and Lu Han decided that he liked Kris being the embodiment of authority in a designer suit as much as he liked him in a simple white V neck and loose pants, looking like all he needed was some heavy petting (in all senses).
The little things on both ends of the spectrum came together and Lu Han’s heart rattled in his chest.
“Really?” he probed, trying not to sound too eager.
Kris was still looking down. “Yeah,” he muttered, “I guess...I like having you over?”
“I think I like the truth better,” Lu Han breathed. He reached out for Kris’ towel and Kris let him take it. Then, he gestured for Kris to sit down next to him and again, Kris did so without a fuss. In the airy silence, Lu Han dried Kris’ hair slowly with a mother’s patience. By the time he was done, Kris’ eyes were closed and his breathing was so even that Lu Han had thought him asleep until, when he made to stand up and put the towel aside, Kris’ hand found his and pulled him back.
“Don’t go.”
Lu Han looked at Kris, feeling the distance between them closing, and thought that there was something very important about this moment. Kris’ hands were so big that he could probably hold the sky in them, and they feel safe.
Kris’ eyes stayed closed and his lips were a smile. Lu Han threw the towel on the floor, pulled his hand out of Kris’ only to reach out for his other hand, and climbed into bed.
“I won’t.”
Then, peaceful sleep.
***
The next day, Lu Han woke first. The sun hung low, preparing to disappear behind stormy clouds, and rain began to fall. He felt a prick of something then. He had felt shades of it other times. Only this time, he knew it for what it was, and it scared him. Gradually, his heart went to the arms around his waist and the warm breath against his back and he wasn’t so scared anymore. He didn’t bother with clothes when he untangle himself from the sheets and the sound-asleep Kris. He watched Kris sleep for a while, paying particular attention to the little things: his lashes, his small lips...
Once he’d had his fill, he got out of the room and stepped into the kitchen. He busied himself with the task of preparing breakfast, scooping peanut butter on freshly toasted bread and heating up two cups of milk, then making some coffee because they would both need it. So engrossed in setting up the table, he didn’t hear Kris getting up. He turned around and there he was, watching Lu Han move about with a hint of disbelief.
“I thought you left.”
Ah, Lu Han realized. The real shock was that he was still here. He shrugged, then gestured at the table, “Well, I didn’t.” He didn’t admit that he stayed both because he didn’t want to and because he didn’t want Kris to be mistaken. He wanted to stay for good.
“You’re not wearing anything.”
“I know.” He grinned, proud that he was naked as the day he was born, then pouted when Kris disappeared into his room only to return with shirt and pants.
“You must be freezing your ass off.” Kris threw the clothes at him and sat down at the table. “Put them on.” He smiled when Lu Han frowned at him. “Unless you want me to take a picture and send it to everyone in the company.”
Lu Han practically ran into the bathroom to change.
When he returned, Kris was taking his phone from where he left it on the coffee table. He had Lu Han’s phone with him too. “Missed calls,” he said, “Two from Yixing and one from Baekhyun. I think they texted you too.”
[01:24 AM]
Baekhyun: how did it go??
[01:25 AM]
Baekhyun: better tell us everything tomorrow
[01:30 AM]
Yixing: So...which language?
[12:50 PM]
to Yixing: not cantonese, thank fucking god
He laughed after sending the message. Kris looked up.
“What did they ask?”
“Nothing.” Lu Han shook his head, desperately trying to hold back his laughter, “Nothing at all.”
***
Lu Han breezed into Kris’ office. He had been doing this very often recently, walking through the door without knocking, even when Kris was on the phone for with someone important. Seeing that Kris didn’t even look up, Lu Han approached the windows. The office overlooked Beijing. He drank in the forms of concrete giants, trying to gage their worth.
To the city, he said, “I don’t get it.”
“Get what?” Kris was still going through his mail. It took a lot for him to resist throwing his computer across the room because he hated negotiating deals because it meant lots of to-and-fro and just because he was good at making good deals and profits out of these things didn’t mean he actually liked going through all this trouble. He would very much prefer watching Lu Han putting on an act and trying to sound like he was really angry at Kris’ supposed cluelessness.
Lu Han stepped back to look at him. “You refused to join us for lunch,” he said accusingly. “I wanted to introduce you to my friends, you ass.”
“Um. Your friends happen to be my employees,” Kris pointed out. He tried to hide his smile and failed. “They ought to know who I am. I happen to be, you know, paying them for all their substandard work and office gossip.”
Lu Han scoffed, “You know I don’t mean it like that.”
It wasn’t that Kris didn’t understand what Lu Han meant. He merely wanted Lu Han to say it. “What is it then?” he said with a wave of long fingers. Lu Han ignored the thought of fingers and something along the lines of getting Kris to use them to his advantage. He shouldn’t be thinking such things at work, not that it ever stopped him.
“I’m still mad at you, you idiot,” Lu Han huffed. “And you didn’t even call up to check on me. What the hell? You’re so thick. And cute. But thick. How did you even become a multimillionaire with that brain of yours?”
Kris pushed back from his desk and examined Lu Han. He could tell that Lu Han wasn’t actually angry. “You’re waiting for me to apologize, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I apologize,” Kris said. The next second, Lu Han was pulled to sit on Kris’ lap. That was unexpected, and a smile slipped into his face. At that, Kris’ grin grew wide.
“That’s not enough.” Lu Han wrapped his arms around Kris’ neck and shifted, grinning when Kris let out a low, warning growl. He knew exactly what he was making Kris feel. “You’re not getting off that easily. I demand an expensive meal as an apology,” Lu Han mumbled against his shoulder. “The most expensive meal in town.”
“Your wish is my command, master.”
“Good boy.”
For: read0write
Pairing: Luhan/Kris (Baekhyun/Lay, Xiumin/Suho, Tao/Sehun)
Rating: NC-17
Length: 10,043 words
Warnings: Mentions of daddy kink and unrecommended work etiquette.
Summary: Lu Han finds his boss ridiculously hot in suit and tie. His new year resolution is to sit on Kris’s lap and make out for like, eight hours straight or something.
Author's Note: Dear recipient, I didn’t do your prompt justice but I hope you like it all the same! ;~; The rough translation for ‘comme get des dick’ is ‘like get the dick’. Also, I don’t know why Minseok has been assigned the role of ‘coffee-drinker’ from start till finish (he probably peed a lot...). An alternative for the summary is: “I’m sorry I tried”. Those who have helped me with this, thank you! <3
Lu Han was having some problems at his new workplace. Or rather, it was just one big problem: his boss, Kris Wu, who was 6 foot 1 and looked so good in a Calvin Klein extreme slim fit that he should be illegal.
Though it wasn’t stated anywhere that it was against standard protocols for one to lust over their boss on the first day of work, Lu Han was sure that announcing his ‘lust at first sight’ to his new colleagues went along the lines of socially unacceptable.
“His name is Wu Yifan? More like Wu Yi Fine.”
Nobody laughed and Yixing, his high school classmate, decided then that being reunited with Lu Han, who still held traces of the popular kid who was always sweaty and stinky from soccer practices, was far from being something worth celebrating.
Kris was also pretty talented. He was fluent in three languages and a dialect, worked as a semi-professional model back in college, and - “Oh right, he was also basketball captain,” Yixing said, and Lu Han knew he was screwed. He wondered In what language will he have an orgasm? aloud and Minseok, who had been so unfortunate to take a sip of his drink then, almost died choking. While the others tended to Minseok, whose face was turning a very unhealthy shade of purple, Lu Han took the time to pray to every god he could name that the answer wouldn’t be Cantonese.
Well, there was only one way to find out.
***
That marked the start of Lu Han’s blatant ogling of Kris’ ass and the series of dreams that had him taking cold showers at seven in the morning.
“Can you be anymore obvious?” Yixing whispered from where he was pressed against the elevator door.
Elevator crowds were the worst and naturally, Lu Han wasn’t in a good mood.
“Can he be anymore oblivious?” he shot back.
The whole Finding His Boss Very Attractive thing wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Lu Han didn’t know how he could possibly find his way into Kris’ pants and blame it all on “sorry I was just trying to find the light switch” or something more ridiculous.
Befriending Kris wasn’t the hard part. (Lu Han discovered that Kris, despite his lack of facial expressions, was actually a big softie. “He collects alpaca plushies,” Lu Han told Yixing, “An alpaca plush collector shouldn’t be so fucking hot.”) Trying to decipher the signals he had been getting from Kris, though, was an entirely different matter.
***
“You want to what?”
Yixing couldn’t say he was surprised when Lu Han told him about his new year’s resolution. However, that didn’t stop him from acting it right down to the jaw-dropping, eye-popping scenario, and he even pretended to fall off his chair when Lu Han came running, having bulldozed over everything else standing in his path, right after Yixing whispered Kris’ name to Baekhyun.
Whenever Kris’ name was mentioned, one could always count on Lu Han to appear out of nowhere.
“He’s like a dog with a bone,” Minseok said.
“You mean a dog with a boner,” Baekhyun corrected.
Later, it was suggested that they get Minseok a new health insurance plan for his birthday. Everyone agreed that it would be for the best.
***
“Is he busy?”
Lu Han stopped trying to make up some excuse for Zitao to disclose Kris’ schedules. All it took was the limited edition Tokyo Mew Mew: Ichigo Mew Box. Lu Han had been made to swear not to tell anyone that Zitao actually burst into manly, unhysterical tears when Lu Han gave it to him.
“I don’t know. Is he?” Zitao didn’t even look up from his phone. “You probably know his schedule better than I do.”
Lu Han shook his head. “Is this how you should be talking to your elders? You should be treating me with utmost respect.”
“You lost that right when you told me your fantasy-of-the-day was to cum all over Kris’ face.”
Peering over Zitao’s shoulder, Lu Han saw that he was texting his boyfriend (who was still in high school), a boy called Sehun. Having lost a dare to Baekhyun, Zitao promised to introduce Sehun to his coworkers, but he had been stalling. Lu Han didn’t blame him. His co-workers were a bad lot. He reached out to tap on Zitao’s screen. Zitao remained unfazed when a smiling poop emoticon was sent to Sehun. Lu Han convinced himself that his act of maturity was winning him points instead of making him more of a joke in the younger man’s book.
Zitao’s just plain vanilla, he comforted himself. There was nothing wrong with wanting to slap Kris’ face with his dick and using that mental image to get off.
“What,” he muttered, “he’s hot.” Then, correcting himself, “I mean, he's pretty.”
“Yifan ge is not pretty.” Zitao looked up at him in disdain. “And you’re probably the only one who thinks that anyone can be prettier than you.” He went back to texting, but not before casually adding a question Lu Han suspected he had been dying to ask, “Just how many times have you been mistaken for a girl?”
“That has never happened before,” Lu Han answered all too quickly.
“I’ll never buy that bill.”
To Sehun, Zitao texted: Lu Han is a big fat liar, and Lu Han wondered if he could throw Zitao out of the window without anyone finding out. “Not that I’d buy any bill, but yeah.”
“You little shit,” Lu Han hissed. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Wow. Look who’s talking.”
Defenceless against the Zitao’s every bark and bite, Lu Han said, “Come on, just tell me if he’s inside.”
“He is,” Zitao sighed. “Now go.” For the fourth time that week, he gave Kris a silent apology for throwing him to the wolves. Wolf. Just Lu Han.
“Gonna call your loverboy when you’re supposed to be working?” Lu Han shook his head disapprovingly.
“At least I’m getting laid.”
***
“Knock knock,” Lu Han called out when he pulled the door open.
Kris looked up. “Lu Han? What are you doing here?” He knew better than to question why Zitao hadn’t buzzed him about Lu Han coming up to find him.
"There's something wrong with the accounts."
A frown. Kris had the habit of fidgeting with his tie, even when there was nothing worrying him, like he couldn't wait to take it off. Lu Han's mouth went dry as he imagined Kris with his hands tied by the skull-patterned tie - it would be burned afterwards.
"Lu Han?"
"Y - Yeah?"
Lu Han licked his lips to wet it. Kris' frown deepened. He didn't like repeating himself, or so Lu Han was told. "What’s wrong with the accounts?"
"Oh, yeah." He didn't know what he meant to achieve when he stepped up to stand next to Kris, but the effect was there. Kris tensed visibly when Lu Han reached out to point at the transaction records of the past two months. Their hands touched briefly. "There is some exaggeration of figures. Inaccuracies. I checked with Minseok and he said he'll look into it as soon as he can."
Kris leaned back, looking a little uncomfortable, confused. "So why are you telling me this?"
“Because you’re the boss?” Lu Han shrugged. "Just thought you should know."
"You could've just dropped an email, you know? Or something. You didn't have to - "
"Come on," Lu Han placed a hand on Kris' shoulder. Amusement shone in his eyes when Kris' mouth snapped shut. "It's no big deal. You're a floor away. Real quick, no hassle. Plus, technology is evil. It hates me."
"Too twenty-first century for you, huh?"
For the first time since Lu Han stepped into the room, Kris grinned. He looked really silly with that gummy smile of his. Lu Han's world would go all lopsided whenever Kris did that. It made him feel funny inside, like back in college when he would expect his roommate to give him the usual hard-boiled egg and ended up getting a sunny side up instead. It wasn't a bad funny. He just didn't think he should like it so much.
"Shut up," he said. Kris' smile grew wider, sillier. "And listen, you’re treating me to lunch."
"For what? For teasing you about your age?"
"For being an asshole." Kris laughed and let Lu Han pull him out of the office, albeit looking rather unsure. "But hey, at least you're a rich asshole. So I suppose that makes you a good friend."
***
“Did you hear?”
Lu Han looked up from his work, “Hear what?” He stifled a yawn and stretched, happy to be distracted from an endless list of numbers that was starting to give him a headache.
From where he sat on Baekhyun’s table, Yixing cleared his throat. “Minseok took Junmyeon home last night.” Beside him, Baekhyun looked torn between laughing and throwing up and Lu Han shared the dilemma.
“As in, they,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “they are together together?”
Yixing nodded.
“That’s unfair!” Lu Han didn’t want to be the only one who was sexy, free and single like that ridiculous Super Junior song. He didn’t realize he was shouting until Minseok, who was at the pantry getting coffee, poked his head around the door to ask what was unfair. “Nothing!” Lu Han answered, then turned back to Yixing and Baekhyun, who were struggling to keep a straight face. He went back to whispering, “What on earth does he see in Junmyeon?”
“Never pegged you to be the office gossip type, Lu Han ge,” Baekhyun teased, rolling the word ‘ge’ on his tongue playfully. “And come on, there’s nothing wrong with Junmyeon. He’s got a great smile.”
Lu Han scoffed, “If you’re a fan of man-eating titans who like to run around stark naked, then sure, he’s got a great smile. I think he’s very pretentious. Fake. Unpleasant and - ”
“And I think you’re just bitter because he was Kris’ ex.”
There were times when Lu Han was glad that there was someone in this world who knew him the way Yixing did. This was not one of those times. He almost raised his voice before remembering what happened two minutes ago and the golden rule that one should never shout when engaging in office gossip. “I’m not bitter,” he bit out. The awful taste in his mouth said otherwise and from the looks he received from both Yixing and Baekhyun, they knew it too.
“Say what you will, Lu Han, you are still the Bitterest Bachelor Of The Year.” Baekhyun, upon saying this, turned to grin at Yixing. If Yixing was going to mouth the words I love you, baby at Baekhyun again, Lu Han was actually going to throw up.
“I never should’ve matchmade you two,” he said, eyes narrowed angrily.
“Matchmade who?” Minseok’s voice drifted in with the smell of coffee and with that, the previous conversation between the three was over.
“Nobody,” Lu Han sniffed. He really didn’t want to talk to Minseok today.
“Okay,” Minseok said, frowning in confusion. There was something weird about the atmosphere and his gut feeling told him he had interrupted yet another episode of Lu Han Being Butthurt Because He Wasn’t Getting Laid. Except people shouldn’t be getting butthurt when they weren’t even getting any in the first place, right? Ever the wise one, Minseok chose to keep these thoughts to himself. “I’ll just, sit here...and drink my coffee.”
An hour passed and Baekhyun was the first to break the agonising silence in the room. "Alright, stop walking back and forth. It's getting really annoying." He made sure to grab an unused plastic folder in case Lu Han went berserk again and threw something at him. The last time that happened, he went home with gum in his hair. The necessary haircut which followed was very unpleasant and nobody was allowed to speak of it ever again.
Minseok, on his way to replenish his cup, nodded his agreement. He also agreed (with his earlier thought) that a trip down to the department which Junmyeon headed was necessary. Everyone on the tenth floor was getting too testy and he needed some fresh air or else the tension was going to kill all his brain cells and he needed them to earn his keep, thank you very much.
Once Minseok was gone, Lu Han stopped pacing. He was, however, glaring at the door, as if it was its fault that Minseok had somehow started dating Kim Junmyeon, Kris’ ex-boyfriend, and that the head of their department was just going off to frolic around with his boyfriend and leave them, his most devoted subordinates, there to rot.
“You look kinda scary. Like you’re plotting someone’s death.” Lu Han gathered Yixing probably wouldn’t want to dirty his hands in helping Lu Han hide the body if that was really the case.
Scowling, Lu Han sat himself down on Yixing, ignoring the hands on his back, trying to push him away. Baekhyun, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind that Lu Han had planted his ass on his man. "I'm just trying to think of a plan," he explained.
Yixing stilled. Then, incredulously, "You can think?"
"One more word and I'll crush your balls, Zhang Yixing, and you know I mean it."
Next second, he was off Yixing's lap and on the floor. Unbothered, he sat up cross-legged. He squinted at the place Yixing was trying to cover with his hands.
"Stop squinting at Yixing's manhood, will you?" Baekhyun sounded amused. "Just tell us what you're planning so we can all pretend to be busy when you come calling for assistance."
Lu Han never doubted that he could always count on them.
***
“You should try some of the pick-up lines - ”
“That Junmyeon used on you? Thanks, but no thanks.”
Minseok frowned, much offended that Lu Han had shot him down mid-sentence, “They were pretty effective.”
“They are pick-up lines,” Lu Han deadpanned, “How can they possibly be effective? Pick-up lines are never effective.”
“I think you’re confusing pick-up lines with ‘I am in lust with Kris’,” Yixing cut in, “because I’m quite sure that is the most effective if you want to chase people away.”
Lu Han shot back, “And look who’s still around.”
Yixing shrugged. “Not by choice.”
Well, he was handcuffed to Lu Han’s chair. “Don’t ask,” Lu Han hissed when Minseok stared long and hard at the handcuff and was just about to open his mouth to speak.
Earlier on, Baekhyun had stormed out of the office, muttering darkly under his breath about something along the lines of ‘printing room’, ‘stupid Chinese boyfriend’ and ‘stupid Chinese boyfriend’s new best friend’. Lu Han should be feeling guilty since he was the reason Baekhyun was venting his anger on the printing machines next door, but he was truly desperate for ideas and if Baekhyun’s wrath would give him some, he would gladly incur all of it. Minseok winced when a particularly loud bang came from the next room. He might have to call for someone to fix the printers tomorrow.
“Here you go!”
Lu Han ended up getting a handful of internet printouts, ranging from ‘10 surefire ways to get your man!’ and ‘Mama knows best!’ to ‘Want to go at it like bunnies in heat? Here’s the secret!’.
“Wipe that smile of your face, you stupid deer of dawn,” Baekhyun snapped. “Now give me the key to the handcuffs. Give me the handcuffs too, I think I’ll have uses for it.”
Yixing looked like he was going to faint.
***
You either have to tell or show him/her what you want. Confess and confront.
Lu Han didn’t plan on laying out the truth in the washroom, of all places. It just happened. He walked in and there Kris was, zipping up his pants and washing his hands after giving Lu Han a smile. The place was public, unsanitary, and there was the sharp smell of detergent, and If there was any surprise in all this, it was only that Lu Han didn’t give a damn anymore.
“Hey,” Kris said as a way of greeting. “Can you tell Baekhyun to stop sending silly chain mails to everyone? I should probably sack him for sending that scary gif of the headless girl, but he’s pretty good at what he does and I don’t want Yixing getting mad at me for firing his boyfriend.” He laughed, as if he had just said something funny, but Lu Han didn’t even smile.
It was the friendliness that grated on him. There was a whiff of something more, but just a whiff.
Anyone could walk in on them anytime, but it was the last concern on his mind. The first: wanting to strip Kris of his fancy-brand clothing.
"Lu Han, wha - "
It was as if, by speaking, Kris had made up Lu Han’s mind for him.
Lu Han didn't think. He just went with it. He grabbed hold of Kris' collars and dragged him close, so close he could count Kris' lashes and measure the angle of the slope of his nose.
A close-lipped kiss, most discreet transfer of temperature, a thesis. The next kiss was proven theory.
Lu Han caught Kris' mouth, trying to remember the shape and taste of his lips. He then bit and tugged on Kris' bottom lip, relishing in the gasp that gave him the chance for a stronger taste. Champagne - stars in fancy bottles, saliva (saliva just tasted like saliva, however it was glorified for the sake of romance), and hesitation. The last was a little bitter. He wanted it gone by the third kiss, and the fourth, the fifth and everything else to follow.
He couldn't help comparing Kris to the soccer captain he had kissed back in his first year of college. Kris wasn't a good kisser - inexperienced (and something inside Lu Han stirred), but he fell pliant easily, and Lu Han liked watching the fight leave his limbs in a quiet surrender. The soccer captain had wanted every bit of his ego and authority intact, having pegged Lu Han as just another 'pretty face'. Lu Han couldn't remember if he had actually broken that guy's nose or not. He only remembered being unofficially banned from the team. By then, he had lost his desires to play for the Red Devils, so he didn't exactly care. Plus, he had bigger priorities: doing well for midterms and finding boys who won't be delusional enough to think of Lu Han as a doll they could play with then throw away like he was worth nothing. He wouldn't let anyone treat him that way and as years went by, he made sure of that for his friends too.
Kris' kissing skills paled in comparison, but it was okay, because Lu Han actually liked it this way.
“Lu Han, we shouldn’t - ”
“Shut up.”
It was messy, filthy, and it messed with Lu Han's brain as much as it did with his body, if his half-hard cock was an indication to go by.
In between one kiss and the next, Kris caught his breath but couldn’t speak. Lu Han was doing something with his hand, somewhere between his thighs, and his ribs were strangling his lungs. It was impossible to make sense of anything. His body was alit with the promise of Lu Han’s hands everywhere on him, but there was also a thought nagging at him.
It was getting harder to think, everything muffled by the lust coursing in their veins, but when Lu Han’s hand was reaching into Kris’ pants, he was shoved away.
Hurt flashed in his eyes and he looked at Kris’ questioningly, but the taller man refused to meet his eyes. The air was thick with the residuals of their last kiss and Kris’ rejection.
***
[9:56 AM]
Yixing: You not coming today? Are you sick?
Lu Han placed his phone aside without replying. He was wearing the oversized t-shirt he sometimes slept in and he was still nursing a headache from drinking too much the night before. His room was as dark as night; he had drawn the curtains because the sunlight only made him see white spots and that was also the reason he hadn’t turned the lights on.
Brooding in the silence, he slowly traced a finger up the shimmery grayness of a fading memory, letting it rest in the accordion pinch of self-doubt and teenage heart breaks. He knew where his insecurities rested, so it was easy digging them out to inspect them. Alarm bells started ringing when he realized, quite abruptly, that Kris tended to bring out the best and worst of his memories - his worries, his regrets and dreams he thought he had already given up on.
There he sat, hugging his pillow, and it wasn’t until his stomach started growling that he stirred awake once more. He ignored the demands of his body, and by the time it was time for dinner, he was nearly sick with hunger. His day of drinking had deepened his already sour mood.
And so the pain brought back his anger.
It was all Kris’ fault for being tall, handsome and nice to boot. It was Kris who sent Lu Han spinning out of axis, making him think things he shouldn’t, do things he shouldn’t, and want things he never had.
A sudden depression filled him and it helped him to unheated leftovers from the day before. He wasn’t so worried about falling ill. It gave him a proper reason to skip work for a few more days. Wolfing down his meal in a futile attempt to replace the sadness with something else, he was stuffed with so many things at once and starved of thing things he truly desired. He threw his fork down and it made a huge clang against the plate, reminded that he shouldn’t be thinking about a certain someone and the emotions said certain someone had so effortlessly invoked in him.
Before night claimed him as hers once more, Lu Han was finally feeling a buzz from all the alcohol, painkillers, and the realization that he was very close to discovering something important about himself.
It wasn’t funny, but still, he laughed for a good while before gradually sobering up and falling asleep.
***
“He’s expecting you.”
For once, Zitao wasn’t texting anyone and ignoring Lu Han’s presence. He was staring at Lu Han when Lu Han stopped in front of his desk. On normal days, Lu Han would have assumed that Zitao wanted something from him which explained why he wasn’t treating Lu Han like he was invisible. Except it wasn’t a normal day and he knew that Zitao wasn’t acknowledging the existence of a guy named Lu Han who looked ten years younger than his actual age simply because he wanted to earn a free meal out of it (or better yet, some limited edition cosplayer shit that was being auctioned on ebay). Zitao was acting this way because Kris probably hadn’t been living life as a happy little bumblebee. Lu Han couldn’t, for the love of all things DBSK-related, comprehend why Kris was moping around when he had been the one who had left Lu Han standing in the middle of the washroom, feeling like an utter fool.
“What happened between you two?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lu Han snapped. He was surprised by the tone of his voice, but it was too late. He was in no mood to apologize for that.
Luckily, Zitao didn’t take offense. He knew Lu Han a little too well to bear grudge over something so fickle. “Okay,” he said simply, “Do you want me to tell him you’re here or…”
“There’s no need for that.”
He knew that the rumors would begin once he stepped into Kris’ office. There were going to be a ton of wild guesses about what had gone on between Kris and him. Baekhyun was probably going to place his bet on Kris and Lu Han getting physical (not that kind) in the office, and that Lu Han was probably nursing a few broken bones under all that bravado. He wouldn’t be completely wrong.
Before Lu Han left the waiting room, Zitao gave him a look that said he hadn’t heard the end of this.
***
Nothing in Kris’s office was out of place. His desk was cluttered and his curtains were drawn and the view outside was breathtaking as ever. The clock on the wall was ticking and the whole space still smelled of coffee and printer ink. The door still creaked when Lu Han closed it behind him.
The atmosphere, however, had changed. Kris looked up when Lu Han came in. He looked neither surprised nor happy about it.
“Here you go.” Lu Han decided against throwing the file at Kris and instead placed it on top of Kris’ shut laptop. “If there’s anything that needs to be fixed, Minseok hyung said you should email him directly.” In other words, Lu Han was going to wash his hands off all business that would require him to make a trip down to Kris’ office. It was a drastic contrast with how things were before.
“Thank you.” Kris’ morose expression didn’t change. He was acting like Lu Han had killed his beloved cat except one, Lu Han didn’t kill anyone’s cat and two, Kris hadn’t even got a cat in the first place.
“Yeah. No problem. I’m paid to do this, anyway,” Lu Han deadpanned. He wanted to get out of here but Kris had yet to give him the okay-go.
Kris was quiet for a while, brewing in his thoughts. His coffee was going cold and Lu Han was getting restless, but he didn’t pay any mind to either. His fingers were tapping against the table and it was a really annoying habit. Actually, everything about Kris was annoying to Lu Han right now. Even the way his brows were furrowed, the way he breathed, and the way he looked to meet Lu Han’s eyes -
“Are you okay?”
His question came from nowhere. It made Lu Han want to laugh because he didn’t understand the purpose of it. Was he asking if Lu Han was okay when he had been the reason behind all the anger, all the pain? That was cruel of him.
It was Lu Han’s turn to hesitate, to brew. He reminded himself again not to be a sentimental slob. Holding Kris’ gaze, he said, “No, sir. I’m not okay.” and gained a little satisfaction when Kris’ stoic expression faltered.
It shouldn’t have felt like a battle won, but at this point in time, Lu Han couldn’t care less.
***
For the whole evening, Lu Han could feel Kris’ eyes following him around the room. He tried not to spent too much time at one spot, and so he busied himself with talking to the people he knew and being introduced to the ones he didn’t. Whenever he turned around in an attempt to catch Kris in the act, Kris would go back to the people he was speaking to and act as if he hadn’t been staring.
Lu Han couldn’t help it; he soured visibly each time that happened.
“What’s wrong?” Yixing, in the guise of grabbing himself a drink, joins him by the side. He looked concerned. Lu Han didn’t want anyone looking concerned because of him.
“Nothing.”
“Liar,” Yixing tried to take Lu Han’s drink from him but Lu Han won’t let him. “You’re brooding.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” Yixing took a moment to disentangle himself from the conversation he was drawn into before coming back. He gave Lu Han a long, searching look, turned around to scan the room, then looked back at Lu Han again. “Ah,” he clapped his hands together in realization, “It’s Kris, isn’t it?”
“No!” Regretting his outburst, Lu Han took a big swallow of drink and tried to drown his feelings with his next swallow. “Who is Kris,” he muttered darkly, glaring at his shoes as if they had somehow let him down, “I don’t know a Kris.” For effect, he added, “Whoever this Kris guy you’re talking about is, I don’t know him.”
Even to him, he sounded so obvious it was pathetic.
Then, somehow, as if he shared some weird telepathic connection with Yixing (knowing them, he probably did), Baekhyun walked towards them with a reluctant Kris in tow. Lu Han’s heart sank when he saw that Kris had a smile ready for Yixing and nothing, not even a nod of acknowledgement, for him. Baekhyun pulled Yixing away, not forgetting to give Lu Han a thumbs up, whatever that was supposed to mean.
It has been days - weeks, maybe, Lu Han had simply stopped keeping track - since they last spoke. Lu Han hated that Kris looked mighty fine as ever, hair slicked back and wearing a simple red rose with his suit. There was a sudden, overwhelming urge to grab the rose and crush it under his feet, and that was his cue to take deep breaths because getting violent with a mere fashion accessory wasn’t going to win him favors with Santa this Christmas. That thought did not just lead him to think about Kris in nothing but a ribbon around his neck, best gift he could ever get, no, of course not.
“Hi.”
Kris spoke first. It wasn’t that good a thing because that meant Lu Han had to come up with a reply. A better option, he thought, was to drop down and play dead. It was either that or to throw his drink at Kris’ face and ruin that million dollar suit.
“Hi.” In his head it sounded a lot more like alkhdaswellfUCKYOUTOOalkshd.
Constipation wasn’t a good look on Kris (nor is it ever a good look for anyone else, Lu Han included). “Yeah. How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been great,” Lu Han replied, hoping Kris won’t see his clenched fists. The conversation had barely started and already, for some reason, it was getting frustrating. Kris was frustrating. Everything about Kris and how much Lu Han wanted him was frustrating.
“Good. I’m glad.” Politeness was a clever weapon and with it, Kris seemed to have placed them miles apart and Lu Han hated that.
Dropping the act of civility, he took a step back. If distance was what Kris wants, then it was going to be what he gets. “Are you?”
A flash of anger passed through Kris’ features; then he was grabbing and dragging Lu Han out of the room.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“What do you want?” He took a labored breath, footsteps messy as they rounded the corner and ended up at the staircase spiraling down to where the entrance was. “Let go,” he said again.
“No.”
There was something else in Kris’ gaze. Lu Han felt anxiety slipping through his defense line and it was what made him wrench his hand from Kris’ grip. With a tinge of despair, he realized he had missed this - being face to face with Kris and being ravaged by this urge to make Kris his and to make himself Kris’.
Kris didn’t say anything. He was too wound up. Keeping his eyes on Lu Han, he ran a hand through his hair in silent frustration. Every slight change in the emotions he was feeling was reflected clearly on his face. Lu Han watched him closely. It felt as if he was watching his own emotions on playback, a silent film going on between them.
Footsteps broke their concentration.
“Lu Han,” Kris began, shaken out of his stupor, but Lu Han didn’t know if he wanted to listen to what he had to say.
He was afraid.
“Don’t.” It came out a whisper. The air kept leaving his body and his stomach seemed to have collapsed upon itself. He teared up, but he willed his eyes dry and said nothing else. He would rather walk on hot coals than cry like a baby, in front of Kris no less.
“I need to apologize, alright?” Kris said this quickly, scared that Lu Han would not give him just one chance. “I messed up,” he admitted, “but now I know. I owe you an apology. What happened...you know...that day, I’m sorry.”
Lu Han stared at him with eyes that had lost every trace of emotion. Kris’ expression was pained. He needed to say it all, however, so all he did was reach out for Lu Han’s hand. “I don’t want that. I don’t want something so,” he frantically searched for the words, “I don’t want something so fleeting. That’s not me. That’s not what I want.” He didn’t know why he was apologizing, but he did. “I’m sorry,” he said again. When he stopped talking, his breaths came out loudly, as if speaking so long had been an exertion.
There was an invisible bruise forming somewhere and while nothing was actually broken, Lu Han found that he couldn’t breathe through it. He felt bruised, bruised a faint purple, and where he was a little bitter, it throbbed painfully. He didn’t want to think too much about what Kris said, but it was hard not to. It was said so bluntly, like a thin blade slicing across, forcing him to taste copper and rejection, something he didn’t want to identify Kris with. When did things go so wrong?
He felt tense and exhausted. He needed a drink. Or two. Or an ocean of it to drown himself in. His vision was going fast, and his tongue was heavy. Gone like the wind, leaving Kris standing there to think through his words. “Fuck,” he said this with realization, eyes widening in horror when he understood how Lu Han had interpreted. He owed a much bigger apology now. He had meant to correct his previous mistake only to do something worse. The worst. He didn’t want it to be too late for him to turn everything around.
***
Rain fell intermittently, then darkness. By the time headlights appeared by his side, Lu Han was soaked and cold. He didn’t have to look to know who it was.
“Get in.”
Lu Han kept walking. The wind grew stronger and he couldn’t stop the cold from burrowing deep, finding refuge in his marrows.
Kris made a sound of frustration. “Han, you’ll catch a cold. Get in.” A pause. “Please?”
Lu Han stuttered in his next step. He didn't know if it was an effect of the Kris’ tone or if it was the nickname, ‘Han’ - only his parents called him that when he was young and with time, the affection it held had faded away. He shook his head to free himself of the memories latching on.
He stopped walking, having made up his mind. Behind the half-unrolled car window, Kris smiled. Lu Han got in slowly, chewing on the inside of his mouth.
Now, riding shotgun next to Kris, he was taking care to remember everything in the confined space. The scent of the air freshener, the songs playing on the radio, and the way Kris would glance to him every now and then, as if he was comforted by Lu Han’s presence in the car. It would be hard to let go of this fleeting moment of reassurance.
At the next red light, Kris reached out to mute the radio and Lu Han, caught in a daze, was startled by his sudden movement. Kris also adjusted the air conditioner so that it wasn’t blowing straight at Lu Han. A small spark flickered to life, growing into a flame spreading from within.
The lights of Beijing passed by and he turned his gaze on them, trying not to watch the reflection of Kris on the window. They passed the national museum. “Where are we going?”
“My place.”
Lu Han stared, and Kris, noticing his gaze, didn’t make to explain. He squeezed his lips together and cleared his throat, then turned his attention back on the road.
This is Kris’ place, Lu Han thought.
He was so fucked.
(More like Kris was so fucked, but that’s later.)
***
The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was quiet. Lu Han was torn between making up an excuse to leave and wanting to stay. By the time the elevator door glided open with a ‘ding!’, it was too late for him to opt for the first option.
He found that Kris’ apartment was just like its owner. An awkward little kitchen flanked by a spacious balcony, a guest room shoved slotted next to the study, and long, purposeless hallways. It had a style that, warm as it was, didn’t give much away. It had a remarkable resemblance with Kris, who stood next to him as he surveyed the space.
The apartment was unnecessarily big for someone living by himself, but it wasn’t designed to be extravagant, which Lu Han liked. Instead, Kris had left his touch everywhere - the neon yellow wine cooler by the television set, the explosion of colors on the wall by the dining table with a single chair, and the few photo frames resting next to the basketball-shaped coffee table.
Another thing Lu Han noticed was that the apartment seemed otherwise untouched. Nothing meant for visitors or family members dropping by. As if he could read his mind, Kris said, “I don’t really like having anyone over.”
He said it matter-of-factly, and with a sinking feeling, Lu Han realized that he was probably just a part of ‘anyone’. When he turned to face Kris, he shoved that thought aside. He didn’t want to overcomplicate things. They were complicated enough.
“So, what now?”
“I wanted to talk.” Kris had never felt so unsure in his own house.
Remembering what Kris had said back at the hotel only made Lu Han want to leave, so he shook his head, saying, “You’ve said enough.”
“Look,” Kris hurried. “You misunderstood, you see?”
“No. I don’t see.”
Kris looked anxious. “Give me another chance to explain, please?”
Lu Han said nothing, and Kris took it as a ‘yes’.
“You probably thought that was another rejection, and I’m sorry for making you think that. When I said that I didn’t want something so fleeting, I meant that...I want more. I want so much more.”
More?
“You’re driving me crazy, you know? You’re always sending mixed signals and I never know whether or not you’re serious about the things you say. The touches? The looks? I didn’t know if you wanted what I wanted. I was afraid. I didn’t want it to be an once-off thing, Lu Han, because I don’t believe in that. When I let someone in, they’re in for good. I don’t want them to leave.” The more he spoke, the more unsure he looked, and Lu Han was tempted to reach out and soothe the brows that were knitted into a frown. He wanted to kiss Kris’ insecurity - and his own - away.
“Do you see it now?”
He did.
Kris was so tall, Lu Han thought, how unfair. He had his blazer off, but he was still wearing his tie and it was crooked. Lu Han stepped forth, took Kris’ tie in his hands, and Kris was expecting him to adjust it, or to take it off, but Lu Han didn’t do either. Instead, he used it to drag Kris towards him, like it was a leash, and it shouldn’t be a turn on except it was.
“You’re thinking too loudly.” He laughed when Kris muttered an apology and accepted it by drawing the other in for a kiss. It started slow, unhurried, and Lu Han stifled another laugh when Kris licked his lips tentatively. He reached out to pull Kris down for more. The kiss suddenly turned desperate when Kris slipped his hands under Lu Han’s shirt and spreaded his palms over Lu han’s back. The tremble in his hands - a vulnerability - had Lu Han sucking in a deep breath. Kris felt really warm and like moth to flame, Lu Han arched into him.
“Bedroom?” Kris pulled away long enough to ask.
“Yes.”
***
For a moment, Lu Han just kneeled there on the bed, drinking in the sight of Kris in all his naked glory. Kris held his gaze and Lu Han found that he couldn’t look away, that he wouldn’t look away. There was beauty in the way Kris relaxed into the sheets, relinquishing himself for the taking. Lu Han was so taken with the urge to fuck Kris; to fuck him so hard that he wouldn’t be able get out of bed the next day. He had to remind himself to breathe.
Kris was still, as though held in a trance, but his gaze never left Lu Han. Lu Han’s stare brought a heat and it stained his chest, which only made Lu Han stare at him some more.
Unable to help himself, Luhan blurted, “Fuck, you’re really pretty.”
Kris laughed, a little out of breath. “Me? Pretty?”
Lu Han nodded, eyes hooded by desire. “Not to say you are pretty like a girl,” he explained. He ran his hands up the length of Kris’ legs, basking in the way they twitched at his gentle touch. “I just think you’re pretty. In a masculine way. And I should buy you a dress. You’re cute, too. And really hot.”
Kris was many things on his list.
“Just know that it’s a good thing,” he murmured as he lowered his body, lips reaching Kris’ stomach. He kissed the sensitive skin, watching intently as it contracted in reaction to his fleeting touches. He trailed his lips higher and higher until he could nibble on Kris’ neck; kissing it, open-mouthed and hungry. Their erections brushed when Lu Han let his complete weight rest on Kris and the man groaned, eyes squeezing shut. He grabbed the back of Lu han’s head and pulled at his hair.
The pain of Kris’ tugging, along with the kiss that was rough round the edges as they bit and sucked, made Lu Han moan into Kris’ mouth. It was a good minute or so before they pulled apart, chests heaving and lips swollen.
“Next time,” Lu Han said, licking his lips, “you can be the one to call me pretty. I won’t like it, I think, but it’s you, so it’s okay. Then I can call you daddy. Or master, whichever you prefer.”
Kris’ eyes were wide, but he didn’t seem adverse to the idea, so Lu Han went on, smiling reassuringly. He was being rather generous.
“Maybe you can spank me for being naughty, or I can be the one to please you after a tiring day at work. We can switch things up, see? It’s interesting. Are you okay with that?”
A pause. Then, Kris nodded.
Grinning, Lu Han kissed him on the nose. “For now, however, I’m in charge.” He pondered aloud, suddenly remembering the material resting in the back pocket of his pants. “Will you mind if I tie your hands together?”
Kris froze, but then he shook his head, cheeks visibly red. He broke eye contact, turning away and Lu Han’s heart thudded. Faintly, Luhan could hear the occasional chatter of people out on the streets and a bike speeding past. He brought his attention back to Kris, only to see that his cock had hardened enough to curve ever so slightly, a little drop of precum at the tip.
Lu Han decided that he would get to that soon, but for now, he had other matters to attend to. He reached into his back pocket for his tie, the one he had taken off after leaving the event in a hurry, and Kris gulped visibly. Luhan wasn’t sure if Kris was having second guesses. Would he seriously like the idea of being tied up? But it wasn’t the time to dwell on such a thing and besides, Kris had already given his permission.
“We need a safe word.”
Kris startled. He didn’t think they would need one, but Lu Han was strict on that rule and Kris could appreciate that. “Ace,” he muttered, cheeks flaming.
“Poker?” Lu Han, curious, chanced a guess.
“No.” Kris didn’t think his face could get any redder. “It’s my...alpaca.”
Lu Han blinked, briefly processing what Kris just said, before he laughed. “Definitely cute.”
Kris scowled, but it was wiped off his face as soon as Lu Han straddled his waist.
“Hands together, above your head,” Lu Han said, his tone softly commanding. Kris obediently put his hands where Lu Han instructed, body flushing. Lu Han watched from the corner of his eye, seeing Kris bite his lip as the older man’s chest neared the his face.
Lu Han wrapped the silk around Kris’ bony wrists, before making a special knot. It was tight enough to restrain, but Kris could, with his own hands, pull it apart easily. However, Lu Han was almost certain it wouldn't have to come to that.
Once finished, Lu Han straightened and gave Kris a deliberately coy smile. Kris should know what was coming up next, because he was looking at Lu Han with such an intense gaze, eyes holding trust amongst other things. The pure intensity of the gaze proved to be too overwhelming for Lu Han in that moment, so he looked away, down at his hands, but still felt Kris’ gaze lingering on him.
Lu Han wet his lips, before he hopped off of Kris. He stood to the side of the bed and Kris turned his head to watch him curiously, mouth dropping open as Lu Han suddenly popped open the button of his pants, before turning around.
The older man gave a subpar strip tease; quickly pulling his pants off and hooking his thumbs into his underwear to drag them down as well, bending at the hips to pull the material from his ankles. He felt victorious, knowing that Kris’ gaze was on his bare ass, and hearing the man let out an exceptionally loud exhale caused his mouth to form a smug grin. He planned his moves carefully and reaped satisfaction from the heat of Kris’ gaze.
Now that the both of them were equally naked and with Kris’ hands securely tied together, Lu Han wasted no time in climbing back onto the bed, settling himself in between Kris’ long legs, and trailing his fingers all over the younger man’s body.
He was a tourist tracing a map, only this time he was settling down for good.
There was delight in going slow, bringing Kris so close to the edge with his subtle touches, then stopping short. Goosebumps broke out all over Kris’ skin, both from the cold and from Lu Han’s ministrations. Kris closed his eyes, confusion evident in the furrow of his brows as Lu Han’s fingers whispered promises in the way they touched and pressed into sensitive places all over his body.
Lu Han closed in on Kris, leaning forward and placing his forearms on either side of Kris’ head. He then lowered his entire body down. Kris, completely pinned, stared at Lu Han with now wide eyes. Unable to resist the look in his eyes - deep brown orbs holding trust and something else, something more; he swooped down and pulled Kris into a kiss. It was deep, so deep that there was no going back.
So taken by the kiss, Kris didn’t hear the sound of Lu Han making a grab for the lube, didn’t hear the sound of a cap popping open. A lube coated finger suddenly probed at Kris’ entrance and he tensed, just for a moment, before he forced himself to relax under Lu Han’s ministrations. The older man was meticulous, staying in tune for any signs of discomfort, before inserting a second finger, crooking them upwards and never breaking the liplock. Lu Han prepared Kris slowly, carefully, with no intention of teasing.
By the time Lu Han pulled his fingers from Kris’ ass, the kiss had turned sloppy. Both of them were distracted by the sudden feeling of delicious, slow penetration, Lu Han’s dick sliding into the tight, tight heat of Kris’ body.
“F - Fuck,” Kris said, his voice raspy. The pain of being stretched to accommodate Lu Han’s girth only made it so much better. He strained against the bondage trapping his hands above his head, but he made no further move to free himself.
“That’s the agenda,” Lu Han replied, grinning through the sweat breaking out on his forehead.
Kris writhed on the bed as Lu Han started moving; slowly and tenderly. “Lu Han,” Kris gasped, and Lu Han had never heard the sound of his name uttered so sexily before. The thought caused him to pick up the speed of his hips, his skin slapping against Kris’ just a little harder, a little faster.
Kris was panting and tensing briefly under Lu Han when the older man’s fingernails dug into the skin of his hips. The pain caused Kris to tense, his hole tightening deliciously around Lu Han’s cock. Lu Han almost choked, the feeling of being sheathed inside the taller man’s clenching body almost too much to bear. He breathed harshly through his nose, trying to hold off on his impending orgasm, but it was proving to be very difficult; especially with the way Kris was whimpering at every hard thrust.
Kris struggled for breath as Lu Han pounded into him. His eyes were closed, cheeks flushed, and Lu Han watched, completely mesmerized. Kris’ pretty pink lips were parted and glistening enticingly, Lu Han’s thrusts tearing ragged moans of pleasure from them.
Lu Han revelled in the sounds that left Kris’ mouth when he trailed a hand up his chest, hovering over and pressing briefly only to hear a slight hitch in his breath, before curling into the hairs at the nape of his neck. Before Kris could react, Lu Han was tugging on his hair, baring Kris’ neck to him. The skin of Kris’ neck was soft, veins visible and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
Lu Han licked his lips and leaned down, his thrusts unwavering as he first pressed gentle kisses and nips along the slender column, before biting a little harder when he reached Kris’ jugular. Kris keened, the sound vibrating against Lu Han’s mouth and Kris struggled against his silk confines. He was tearing up, overwhelmed by the pleasure, overwhelmed by everything Lu Han was doing to him.
“I am going to ruin you, and you’d like that, don’t you?” Lu Han whispered. That made it even harder for Kris to hold himself up. Lu Han’s words had the effect he desired; Kris looked like he wanted to beg for mercy, beg for more.
Without any warning, Lu Han sank his teeth, hard, into Kris’ shoulder, and Kris groaned; hoarse and utterly wrecked. He was perfect. The sound went straight to Lu Han’s dick, causing him to stutter in his thrusts.
Lu Han knew that Kris’ orgasm was near, as he felt Kris tense and tighten around him, his walls fluttering helplessly around Lu Han’s cock. He quickly pressed his mouth to Kris’. A sharp, abrupt thrust against his prostate forced Kris to whimper into the kiss and clench his eyes shut. His mouth opened enough for Lu Han to push his tongue inside.
Lu Han’s tongue snaked around Kris’ and the lack of oxygen was making them slightly dizzy. Kris groaned into Lu Han’s mouth, trying to breathe through his nose, but to no avail. Lu Han trailed a hand down to wrap around Kris’ length, pumping him in time with his every thrust. Kris thrashed, crying out into their kiss, before he suddenly broke away, body tensing and attempting to curl in on itself as he came hard. Lu Han watched, enraptured, as Kris’ mouth parted in a silent scream, spurting all over Lu Han’s fist and onto his own stomach, sticky and white.
Lu Han came a beat later, his release hot as it painted Kris’ inner walls, causing the younger male to twitch from oversensitivity. Lu Han’s lips were still stinging from the kiss.
***
“By the way, I lied,” Kris said the second he came out of the bathroom. His hair was still dripping water. Most people didn’t look good coming out of the shower with wet hair plastered all over their face, but Kris looked like some Hugo Boss model and it was so ridiculous that Lu Han was tempted to look around for cameras.
“About what?”
“About not liking having anyone over,” Kris admitted. He looked down, a little embarrassed, and Lu Han decided that he liked Kris being the embodiment of authority in a designer suit as much as he liked him in a simple white V neck and loose pants, looking like all he needed was some heavy petting (in all senses).
The little things on both ends of the spectrum came together and Lu Han’s heart rattled in his chest.
“Really?” he probed, trying not to sound too eager.
Kris was still looking down. “Yeah,” he muttered, “I guess...I like having you over?”
“I think I like the truth better,” Lu Han breathed. He reached out for Kris’ towel and Kris let him take it. Then, he gestured for Kris to sit down next to him and again, Kris did so without a fuss. In the airy silence, Lu Han dried Kris’ hair slowly with a mother’s patience. By the time he was done, Kris’ eyes were closed and his breathing was so even that Lu Han had thought him asleep until, when he made to stand up and put the towel aside, Kris’ hand found his and pulled him back.
“Don’t go.”
Lu Han looked at Kris, feeling the distance between them closing, and thought that there was something very important about this moment. Kris’ hands were so big that he could probably hold the sky in them, and they feel safe.
Kris’ eyes stayed closed and his lips were a smile. Lu Han threw the towel on the floor, pulled his hand out of Kris’ only to reach out for his other hand, and climbed into bed.
“I won’t.”
Then, peaceful sleep.
***
The next day, Lu Han woke first. The sun hung low, preparing to disappear behind stormy clouds, and rain began to fall. He felt a prick of something then. He had felt shades of it other times. Only this time, he knew it for what it was, and it scared him. Gradually, his heart went to the arms around his waist and the warm breath against his back and he wasn’t so scared anymore. He didn’t bother with clothes when he untangle himself from the sheets and the sound-asleep Kris. He watched Kris sleep for a while, paying particular attention to the little things: his lashes, his small lips...
Once he’d had his fill, he got out of the room and stepped into the kitchen. He busied himself with the task of preparing breakfast, scooping peanut butter on freshly toasted bread and heating up two cups of milk, then making some coffee because they would both need it. So engrossed in setting up the table, he didn’t hear Kris getting up. He turned around and there he was, watching Lu Han move about with a hint of disbelief.
“I thought you left.”
Ah, Lu Han realized. The real shock was that he was still here. He shrugged, then gestured at the table, “Well, I didn’t.” He didn’t admit that he stayed both because he didn’t want to and because he didn’t want Kris to be mistaken. He wanted to stay for good.
“You’re not wearing anything.”
“I know.” He grinned, proud that he was naked as the day he was born, then pouted when Kris disappeared into his room only to return with shirt and pants.
“You must be freezing your ass off.” Kris threw the clothes at him and sat down at the table. “Put them on.” He smiled when Lu Han frowned at him. “Unless you want me to take a picture and send it to everyone in the company.”
Lu Han practically ran into the bathroom to change.
When he returned, Kris was taking his phone from where he left it on the coffee table. He had Lu Han’s phone with him too. “Missed calls,” he said, “Two from Yixing and one from Baekhyun. I think they texted you too.”
[01:24 AM]
Baekhyun: how did it go??
[01:25 AM]
Baekhyun: better tell us everything tomorrow
[01:30 AM]
Yixing: So...which language?
[12:50 PM]
to Yixing: not cantonese, thank fucking god
He laughed after sending the message. Kris looked up.
“What did they ask?”
“Nothing.” Lu Han shook his head, desperately trying to hold back his laughter, “Nothing at all.”
***
Lu Han breezed into Kris’ office. He had been doing this very often recently, walking through the door without knocking, even when Kris was on the phone for with someone important. Seeing that Kris didn’t even look up, Lu Han approached the windows. The office overlooked Beijing. He drank in the forms of concrete giants, trying to gage their worth.
To the city, he said, “I don’t get it.”
“Get what?” Kris was still going through his mail. It took a lot for him to resist throwing his computer across the room because he hated negotiating deals because it meant lots of to-and-fro and just because he was good at making good deals and profits out of these things didn’t mean he actually liked going through all this trouble. He would very much prefer watching Lu Han putting on an act and trying to sound like he was really angry at Kris’ supposed cluelessness.
Lu Han stepped back to look at him. “You refused to join us for lunch,” he said accusingly. “I wanted to introduce you to my friends, you ass.”
“Um. Your friends happen to be my employees,” Kris pointed out. He tried to hide his smile and failed. “They ought to know who I am. I happen to be, you know, paying them for all their substandard work and office gossip.”
Lu Han scoffed, “You know I don’t mean it like that.”
It wasn’t that Kris didn’t understand what Lu Han meant. He merely wanted Lu Han to say it. “What is it then?” he said with a wave of long fingers. Lu Han ignored the thought of fingers and something along the lines of getting Kris to use them to his advantage. He shouldn’t be thinking such things at work, not that it ever stopped him.
“I’m still mad at you, you idiot,” Lu Han huffed. “And you didn’t even call up to check on me. What the hell? You’re so thick. And cute. But thick. How did you even become a multimillionaire with that brain of yours?”
Kris pushed back from his desk and examined Lu Han. He could tell that Lu Han wasn’t actually angry. “You’re waiting for me to apologize, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I apologize,” Kris said. The next second, Lu Han was pulled to sit on Kris’ lap. That was unexpected, and a smile slipped into his face. At that, Kris’ grin grew wide.
“That’s not enough.” Lu Han wrapped his arms around Kris’ neck and shifted, grinning when Kris let out a low, warning growl. He knew exactly what he was making Kris feel. “You’re not getting off that easily. I demand an expensive meal as an apology,” Lu Han mumbled against his shoulder. “The most expensive meal in town.”
“Your wish is my command, master.”
“Good boy.”