wooooooooooow
As much as I love Jack Handey, I think I can come up with equally cool/stupid stuff on my own. So now I'm gonna start each entry with a random thought, because I think about ALOT of randomly dumb stuff all the time. Or I'll just put a random quote from something. Whatever it is, trust me, you'll love it.
For today:
"What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? ... Are there horsesocks? ...Is anybody listening to me?"
So. I somehow did my Art paper. I wasn't really sure if I could make myself do it, but I did. So HAH.
I went to the library at around 7:30 last night, and come to find out, the library was open till 2 AM because of finals and the crazyness that goes on at this time of the semester. It was probably about 9:00, though, when I realized I was gonna have to pull an all-nighter.
I left the library about midnight after poring through tons of old books about photographers, then came home and did MORE research. I also remembered that I had a quiz today in Anthro, so I had to read two big honkin articles for that... and whaddaya know, I fell asleep while I was trying to get through the first one. It was okay though, because I've learned that if I'm trying to stay AWAKE and I fall asleep, I won't sleep that long. It's only when I'm intentionally trying to sleep for a matter of a few hours that I totally don't wake up until long after I meant to. So I went to sleep at like 2:30 or 3 I think, and I woke up at 4. That was okay by me, because, hey, at least I woke up. I finished the Anthro readings, then did my paper. During the last couple hours before I had to leave for school I worked furiously on it, and I actually thought I finished it in time... but I was still like 7 or 8 min. late for my Anthro quiz, because my teacher always gives it at the beginning of class. GOSH.
You know the feeling when something upsets you, and it's really not that big of a deal, but then you just start thinking about a bunch of other stuff, and before you know it you're mad at yourself and mad at the world and you kind of just want to die? I don't really want to kill myself, people, but sometimes I just think about how much easier life will be when I'm not doing school and work and a bunch of other stuff, all simultaneously. Oh, well anyway, that's kind of how I felt the rest of the day after my Anthro quiz, because I TRY to be on time for that class, but I'm late pretty much every single day. So I kind of feel like a huge embarrassing failure when I'm in there.
Then after I left class I started thinking about how I'm a failure at life and I never do anything right; I can never totally apply myself to things for some reason, and although I don't act like it, it does upset me sometimes. I realize that I'm the only one who can do anything about it, but I just don't know what I can do on my own. I probably need counseling, or time management counseling at the very least. Anyhoo, then I went to Art and nodded of for a good part of the lecture. Then I went to my Mass Comm class, where I had something due but had been too busy w/ my paper to get it done. Plus I started feeling like crap (probably because I had cappucino, two cups of coffee and a ton of Mountain Dew the whole night/morning), so I just went home before the teach got to class, then I did the assignment when I got home and e-mailed it to her. I don't know if that's being dishonest but hey, she's a strict enough teacher that if she doesn't buy it, she'll just give me a zero. I figured it would be better to go home and do it than to sit in class and be PO'ed and not do the assignment at all (which, by the way, I had started the other day and left at home).
Well, I'm not really in that bad of a mood anymore; I just feel really weird. I know that I'd go right to sleep if I laid down, but I don't feel much like it. I came to the decision while I was beating myself up mentally that I need to decide what's going on next semester. And I think that, as long as it won't make me a part-time student, I'm just going to take 12 hours of classes. I should do okay too, because I'll actually be taking core classes (FINALLY done w/ Gen Eds!!), and they're all ones that I picked out in particular. I just think that when I get overloaded, I have even less motivation than usual. Maybe if I get a lighter load, I will do better. BLAH... I really hate making decisions though.
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide
--The Lovin' Spoonful, "Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind"
Well, I guess I'll be going. I actually have alot of stuff I could do right now, but I have an unhealthy addiction to blogging. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't really talk to anyone every single day now. I'm not complaining, really; it's just how it is. At the moment, I don't have a best friend who I communicate w/ every single day; there really isn't anyone who says "how's your day been?" and I just blurt everything out. But I know that it'll happen eventually. Meanwhile, I can continue wondering who reads this (until people learn how to click the comment button) and just talk to myself here. Who knows what'll happen. But for the moment, I'm taking this time in my life as a learning experience. I'm figuring that God is putting me through a time when I rely more on Him and on myself than on other people to make me happy. And it's cool... cause I know that whatever (or whoever) is lined up for the future will be the best for me and will rock my world. For now, I'm out. Latez.
For today:
"What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? ... Are there horsesocks? ...Is anybody listening to me?"
So. I somehow did my Art paper. I wasn't really sure if I could make myself do it, but I did. So HAH.
I went to the library at around 7:30 last night, and come to find out, the library was open till 2 AM because of finals and the crazyness that goes on at this time of the semester. It was probably about 9:00, though, when I realized I was gonna have to pull an all-nighter.
I left the library about midnight after poring through tons of old books about photographers, then came home and did MORE research. I also remembered that I had a quiz today in Anthro, so I had to read two big honkin articles for that... and whaddaya know, I fell asleep while I was trying to get through the first one. It was okay though, because I've learned that if I'm trying to stay AWAKE and I fall asleep, I won't sleep that long. It's only when I'm intentionally trying to sleep for a matter of a few hours that I totally don't wake up until long after I meant to. So I went to sleep at like 2:30 or 3 I think, and I woke up at 4. That was okay by me, because, hey, at least I woke up. I finished the Anthro readings, then did my paper. During the last couple hours before I had to leave for school I worked furiously on it, and I actually thought I finished it in time... but I was still like 7 or 8 min. late for my Anthro quiz, because my teacher always gives it at the beginning of class. GOSH.
You know the feeling when something upsets you, and it's really not that big of a deal, but then you just start thinking about a bunch of other stuff, and before you know it you're mad at yourself and mad at the world and you kind of just want to die? I don't really want to kill myself, people, but sometimes I just think about how much easier life will be when I'm not doing school and work and a bunch of other stuff, all simultaneously. Oh, well anyway, that's kind of how I felt the rest of the day after my Anthro quiz, because I TRY to be on time for that class, but I'm late pretty much every single day. So I kind of feel like a huge embarrassing failure when I'm in there.
Then after I left class I started thinking about how I'm a failure at life and I never do anything right; I can never totally apply myself to things for some reason, and although I don't act like it, it does upset me sometimes. I realize that I'm the only one who can do anything about it, but I just don't know what I can do on my own. I probably need counseling, or time management counseling at the very least. Anyhoo, then I went to Art and nodded of for a good part of the lecture. Then I went to my Mass Comm class, where I had something due but had been too busy w/ my paper to get it done. Plus I started feeling like crap (probably because I had cappucino, two cups of coffee and a ton of Mountain Dew the whole night/morning), so I just went home before the teach got to class, then I did the assignment when I got home and e-mailed it to her. I don't know if that's being dishonest but hey, she's a strict enough teacher that if she doesn't buy it, she'll just give me a zero. I figured it would be better to go home and do it than to sit in class and be PO'ed and not do the assignment at all (which, by the way, I had started the other day and left at home).
Well, I'm not really in that bad of a mood anymore; I just feel really weird. I know that I'd go right to sleep if I laid down, but I don't feel much like it. I came to the decision while I was beating myself up mentally that I need to decide what's going on next semester. And I think that, as long as it won't make me a part-time student, I'm just going to take 12 hours of classes. I should do okay too, because I'll actually be taking core classes (FINALLY done w/ Gen Eds!!), and they're all ones that I picked out in particular. I just think that when I get overloaded, I have even less motivation than usual. Maybe if I get a lighter load, I will do better. BLAH... I really hate making decisions though.
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide
--The Lovin' Spoonful, "Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind"
Well, I guess I'll be going. I actually have alot of stuff I could do right now, but I have an unhealthy addiction to blogging. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't really talk to anyone every single day now. I'm not complaining, really; it's just how it is. At the moment, I don't have a best friend who I communicate w/ every single day; there really isn't anyone who says "how's your day been?" and I just blurt everything out. But I know that it'll happen eventually. Meanwhile, I can continue wondering who reads this (until people learn how to click the comment button) and just talk to myself here. Who knows what'll happen. But for the moment, I'm taking this time in my life as a learning experience. I'm figuring that God is putting me through a time when I rely more on Him and on myself than on other people to make me happy. And it's cool... cause I know that whatever (or whoever) is lined up for the future will be the best for me and will rock my world. For now, I'm out. Latez.