*blink* and you miss a beat...
I just watched the movie "Click" and was surprised at how much it affected me. when I think about it, though, the reason I was so affected was probably because of how closely I could relate with the story, especially RIGHT NOW, in the situation where I'm at.
in one of the most emotionally climatic scenes in the movie, Adam Sandler's character is laying in the rain dying with his family gathered around him - a family he had completely (though unintentionally) estranged - and all he can reiterate is "family first. family first." it's all he cares about. not his career, how much money he made, or any of that - all that mattered was that he didn't know his kids, and his wife had married another man. everything came into perspective.
though I'm not going through the exact same thing right now, the process of analyzing that which is important to me made me weep. this whole issue of going home for Thanksgiving, which I didn't think would be that much of a problem, is now causing me to evaluate my progress of being independent, which I thought I was doing pretty well with. but the other night when I was faced with the fact that it's very possible that I won't make it home this Thanksgiving (I'm not giving up yet), I sobbed uncontrollably for a pretty long time. since then, I've been wondering, did I overreact? am I just way too attached to home still? when I talked to my grandmother on the phone today, she even asked me, "why is it so important to you to come home for Thanksgiving?" this kind of reaction started to make me really doubt my own ability to stand on my own two feet, honestly. am I pathetic?
well, I'm pretty glad that it worked out for me to see this movie, right now, at this point in my day-year-life, because I wouldn't have things any other way. after thinking about it, I realized that things aren't that complicated: no matter how independent I am, "no man is an island." I shouldn't have to feel childish or guilty because I love and miss my family and friends - if anything, I should be grateful that my heart's tender enough to do so. frankly, I don't think that I should have to feel shamed in any way that I'm willing to do whatever I can to get home and see people that are precious to me. I have lots of people in my life that I love dearly, and I consider it a perfectly find thing.
my grandmother told me some bunk on the phone today - some bunk like, "you have to think of this as an adventure - like this is a time in your life for you to take advantage of every opportunity to do something out of the ordinary." so basically, she wanted me to think of the opportunity to spend time w/ someone else's family at Thanksgiving as an "adventure." honestly, I don't think that she understands that I'm probably not coming home again permanently. I'm going to have plenty of opportunities for adventure out here while I'm finishing up college - but missing out on a perfect opportunity to spend time w/ my beloved friends and family is not something that's in the rulebook.
I am unashamed of my love for my parents, my friends, my STL, and anyone who I consider extended family. and no matter what happens in the future, I pray to the Lord that I will retain that love, because I think it's a beautiful thing.
in one of the most emotionally climatic scenes in the movie, Adam Sandler's character is laying in the rain dying with his family gathered around him - a family he had completely (though unintentionally) estranged - and all he can reiterate is "family first. family first." it's all he cares about. not his career, how much money he made, or any of that - all that mattered was that he didn't know his kids, and his wife had married another man. everything came into perspective.
though I'm not going through the exact same thing right now, the process of analyzing that which is important to me made me weep. this whole issue of going home for Thanksgiving, which I didn't think would be that much of a problem, is now causing me to evaluate my progress of being independent, which I thought I was doing pretty well with. but the other night when I was faced with the fact that it's very possible that I won't make it home this Thanksgiving (I'm not giving up yet), I sobbed uncontrollably for a pretty long time. since then, I've been wondering, did I overreact? am I just way too attached to home still? when I talked to my grandmother on the phone today, she even asked me, "why is it so important to you to come home for Thanksgiving?" this kind of reaction started to make me really doubt my own ability to stand on my own two feet, honestly. am I pathetic?
well, I'm pretty glad that it worked out for me to see this movie, right now, at this point in my day-year-life, because I wouldn't have things any other way. after thinking about it, I realized that things aren't that complicated: no matter how independent I am, "no man is an island." I shouldn't have to feel childish or guilty because I love and miss my family and friends - if anything, I should be grateful that my heart's tender enough to do so. frankly, I don't think that I should have to feel shamed in any way that I'm willing to do whatever I can to get home and see people that are precious to me. I have lots of people in my life that I love dearly, and I consider it a perfectly find thing.
my grandmother told me some bunk on the phone today - some bunk like, "you have to think of this as an adventure - like this is a time in your life for you to take advantage of every opportunity to do something out of the ordinary." so basically, she wanted me to think of the opportunity to spend time w/ someone else's family at Thanksgiving as an "adventure." honestly, I don't think that she understands that I'm probably not coming home again permanently. I'm going to have plenty of opportunities for adventure out here while I'm finishing up college - but missing out on a perfect opportunity to spend time w/ my beloved friends and family is not something that's in the rulebook.
I am unashamed of my love for my parents, my friends, my STL, and anyone who I consider extended family. and no matter what happens in the future, I pray to the Lord that I will retain that love, because I think it's a beautiful thing.