(no subject)
I am in a very blah mood. pretty much just in a blah part of my life, at the moment.
I can't wait for all this school planning crap to be done. I can't wait to just be up there, learning, having the time to sit around my apartment while reading cool books, listening to beautiful tunes, and maybe having a nice big bowl of guac and chips as well.
I'm tired of busting my butt at work and getting up at 8 AM three times a week so that I can have people yell at me on the phone all day. I'm tired of my mom posting notes for me all around the house as if she thinks I'm completely incapable of arranging this new life for myself. I'm tired of seeing and hearing about my brother and friends getting married and doing exciting things while I'm stuck in a hospital all day and missing out on the sunshine and beautiful days of my last summer at home.
I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but it's pretty much not working. however, I have resigned myself to the belief that the best is yet to come, and it WILL come for me. I just have to be a little bit patient.
which is never a very fun thing.
but neither is letting yourself lead a life that is composed of only practical things, and not exciting things.
so I guess this little month-long period will just have to suffice, and then I'll be out there in that world of excitement. I can't wait. when I sit and think hard about it and all that it's going to entail and mean, it gives me shivers.
I can't wait for all this school planning crap to be done. I can't wait to just be up there, learning, having the time to sit around my apartment while reading cool books, listening to beautiful tunes, and maybe having a nice big bowl of guac and chips as well.
I'm tired of busting my butt at work and getting up at 8 AM three times a week so that I can have people yell at me on the phone all day. I'm tired of my mom posting notes for me all around the house as if she thinks I'm completely incapable of arranging this new life for myself. I'm tired of seeing and hearing about my brother and friends getting married and doing exciting things while I'm stuck in a hospital all day and missing out on the sunshine and beautiful days of my last summer at home.
I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but it's pretty much not working. however, I have resigned myself to the belief that the best is yet to come, and it WILL come for me. I just have to be a little bit patient.
which is never a very fun thing.
but neither is letting yourself lead a life that is composed of only practical things, and not exciting things.
so I guess this little month-long period will just have to suffice, and then I'll be out there in that world of excitement. I can't wait. when I sit and think hard about it and all that it's going to entail and mean, it gives me shivers.