hurr i iz yall!!!!!!!!!
So, betchya didn't know I have a blog! Well... I do. I have for awhile. But so far I've been using it as a personal journal w/ a readership of UNO persons (heheheh... you know who you are! ;), which I am tired of doing. The thing is, I'm probably going to start using this as my opinion page instead of the one on my website, because frankly, it takes way too long to do ANYTHING on my website. I have to bother trying to make it visually interesting (which I do realize it's not), fix the html, organize it, set up links so that when you click on stuff it actually works... it takes entirely too long, especially when I can type what I want, press a button, and have it done with. So I made my old entries on here private, and now I will begin my blogship. or bloggership. Or whatever.
Stuff is interesting lately. Well, not so much... my life is relatively boring, actually. But the way God is working things out in it is pretty cool. I am feeling that this year is going to hold some changes for me in a whole lot of different ways, starting with my relationship with God (which is already in effect), and continuing with my social life, the way I relate to other people and how I'm going to handle my schooling. Details, you say? Why CERTAINLY.
Well basically, my ultimate goal right now is to be fully reliant on God. And when I say fully, I mean it. I don't know what I'm going to do in the future, what kind of occupation I'll have, who I'll marry, etc., etc., but I really just want to lean on God and know that no one else and nothing else matters. I've recently been thinking about doing a semester abroad next spring (Spring 2006), and I know that I need to accomplish this spiritual goal in order to take on that kind of trip. I've never been away from home really, and this seems like it would be a start toward REAL independence and being on my own. Buuut I'm not really doing that well in this area at this particular moment, as you will read below...
Ever since I graduated from high school, I've been having a hard time figuring out who I'm supposed to hang out w/. I hang out w/ my friends in high school, and while we have a good time, I know I need closer friends who are my own age. I don't do the same things I did in high school, I don't have the same attitude, and I don't have the same responsibilities. I make alot more choices on my own, and I'm at a point where I have to decide for myself what I want to do in life. And while I feel that I can still learn from my friends who are in high school, I know that we don't deal with the same struggles day-to-day and that kind of makes it hard. We all strive for the same goals, but we are at different points in working to achieve them. And sometimes you just need to get w/ people who you can identify with more easily.
Anyway, along with that thought, I'm just really looking forward to this year. God has blessed me with some new friends who I've had an awesome time with so far, and the year's barely coming along! When I think back on all that I went through last year, the people I've met and the friends I've made, I just get pumped because I'm pretty sure it's going to be bigger and better this year. Things are shaping up well. I realize that I'm being pretty ambiguous amd unclear in most of what I'm saying here, but I don't want to misjudge things prematurely. Also, if you notice the "mood" I picked out, I just don't really feel like describing anything at the moment.
I'm kind of disappointed with some stuff that's happened lately, with people younger and older than me who don't seem to be following up on their word. I feel like I've been lied to in a couple situations, and that sometimes people have been insincere about their feelings - pretending that they feel a certain way for my benefit. I also feel like I get overlooked sometimes because I guess I generally give off the impression that I'm confident and don't need friends or people to hang out with, when in actuality I'm kind of lonely and could use a friend. Especially w/ people at school. And I know that I could DEFINITELY do more sometimes in trying to meet new people, but it especially hurts when I've joined a group at school that promotes OUTREACH but doesn't seem to want to make a priority of it. Add though that hurts, I'm going to trust God to work through my hurt and give me the friends I need... which is actually what I feel coming up here. I know for sure that God would not take away something I would enjoy and give me something worse just because "it's His will." I think sometimes we get this perception as Christians where we think, "ohhhh, maaaaaan, things were so great before GOD got in the way... geez..." ... uhh, no people. That's not how it works. God's intent is not to make us miserable, His PLAN is to make life better for us! John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (NIV). Or, as The Message version says, "A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." I don't think Jesus was just talking about our spiritual life - He was talking about every aspect! So yeah... that's kind of been my philosophy lately... "God won't take something from me when He doesn't have something so much better in store for me."
Sorry if this whole thing came off as whiny... yeah, some stuff is just bothering me at the moment. Hopefully this first entry hasn't let you down, cause I have PLENTY MORE to say, and I most likely will say it better than I am right now! So check back, cause I'll probably post again soon - and I would also appreciate any comment you might have for me. Welp... see ya later!
Stuff is interesting lately. Well, not so much... my life is relatively boring, actually. But the way God is working things out in it is pretty cool. I am feeling that this year is going to hold some changes for me in a whole lot of different ways, starting with my relationship with God (which is already in effect), and continuing with my social life, the way I relate to other people and how I'm going to handle my schooling. Details, you say? Why CERTAINLY.
Well basically, my ultimate goal right now is to be fully reliant on God. And when I say fully, I mean it. I don't know what I'm going to do in the future, what kind of occupation I'll have, who I'll marry, etc., etc., but I really just want to lean on God and know that no one else and nothing else matters. I've recently been thinking about doing a semester abroad next spring (Spring 2006), and I know that I need to accomplish this spiritual goal in order to take on that kind of trip. I've never been away from home really, and this seems like it would be a start toward REAL independence and being on my own. Buuut I'm not really doing that well in this area at this particular moment, as you will read below...
Ever since I graduated from high school, I've been having a hard time figuring out who I'm supposed to hang out w/. I hang out w/ my friends in high school, and while we have a good time, I know I need closer friends who are my own age. I don't do the same things I did in high school, I don't have the same attitude, and I don't have the same responsibilities. I make alot more choices on my own, and I'm at a point where I have to decide for myself what I want to do in life. And while I feel that I can still learn from my friends who are in high school, I know that we don't deal with the same struggles day-to-day and that kind of makes it hard. We all strive for the same goals, but we are at different points in working to achieve them. And sometimes you just need to get w/ people who you can identify with more easily.
Anyway, along with that thought, I'm just really looking forward to this year. God has blessed me with some new friends who I've had an awesome time with so far, and the year's barely coming along! When I think back on all that I went through last year, the people I've met and the friends I've made, I just get pumped because I'm pretty sure it's going to be bigger and better this year. Things are shaping up well. I realize that I'm being pretty ambiguous amd unclear in most of what I'm saying here, but I don't want to misjudge things prematurely. Also, if you notice the "mood" I picked out, I just don't really feel like describing anything at the moment.
I'm kind of disappointed with some stuff that's happened lately, with people younger and older than me who don't seem to be following up on their word. I feel like I've been lied to in a couple situations, and that sometimes people have been insincere about their feelings - pretending that they feel a certain way for my benefit. I also feel like I get overlooked sometimes because I guess I generally give off the impression that I'm confident and don't need friends or people to hang out with, when in actuality I'm kind of lonely and could use a friend. Especially w/ people at school. And I know that I could DEFINITELY do more sometimes in trying to meet new people, but it especially hurts when I've joined a group at school that promotes OUTREACH but doesn't seem to want to make a priority of it. Add though that hurts, I'm going to trust God to work through my hurt and give me the friends I need... which is actually what I feel coming up here. I know for sure that God would not take away something I would enjoy and give me something worse just because "it's His will." I think sometimes we get this perception as Christians where we think, "ohhhh, maaaaaan, things were so great before GOD got in the way... geez..." ... uhh, no people. That's not how it works. God's intent is not to make us miserable, His PLAN is to make life better for us! John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (NIV). Or, as The Message version says, "A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." I don't think Jesus was just talking about our spiritual life - He was talking about every aspect! So yeah... that's kind of been my philosophy lately... "God won't take something from me when He doesn't have something so much better in store for me."
Sorry if this whole thing came off as whiny... yeah, some stuff is just bothering me at the moment. Hopefully this first entry hasn't let you down, cause I have PLENTY MORE to say, and I most likely will say it better than I am right now! So check back, cause I'll probably post again soon - and I would also appreciate any comment you might have for me. Welp... see ya later!