(no subject)
One bluster two... three bluster four, the more I suck my thumb, the more blusters I score!
It's true... I woke up last night and freaked out... with all the stress life has put on me and with the countless few who try to push me down, I've been on a rampage to surivive, not caring of the people I hurt...
Maybe... ::shrugs:: Mother came home and told me that there were people concerned afore me... asked about the pills and if she did take them away... she told them the truth, she did but I was unaware she put them back, I thought she was going to help me take them... 10 days going cold turkey, the longest yet for me and I felt like I could have at anytime just gone retarded... Then taking a trip like I did Wednesday, for like four to five days of rebeling... Stubburn bitch!
I have never cared about myself or whether I get hurt, for my friends I'll do anything to keep them out of harm... Like when Muff and Bryon came down to visit... I couldn't let them get in trouble, yes I know I play the hero a lot... I've always tried to help those whether death came to me or not.... Some people have seen me in action, others hear it, and more don't believe in me... I will never care about myself... susicide will always be there, it's everyones option we just choose to play along those lines.
No one knows why my pills went missing do they? Why they were taken in the first place...
At court for the 15th, I'll plea my case, tell them where I plan on going, what grade point average I have... Everything that will drop the case for a first affense student... after that I can only pray what happens to the others... Here I would play the hero and try to help but you can't save people who don't want to be saved... I can't save Muff, it's about where to cross the line... I may do it anyways just as a reflex... him being a close friend for so long... not letting go of someone when they believe other wise... when lanier broke up with I didn't believe it... I acted as if it didn't happen... people say some weird things, like playing tellie phone with life... it will never come out they way they said it the first time unless recorded... never... I promise that...
I must go and balance my life in privite...
It's true... I woke up last night and freaked out... with all the stress life has put on me and with the countless few who try to push me down, I've been on a rampage to surivive, not caring of the people I hurt...
Maybe... ::shrugs:: Mother came home and told me that there were people concerned afore me... asked about the pills and if she did take them away... she told them the truth, she did but I was unaware she put them back, I thought she was going to help me take them... 10 days going cold turkey, the longest yet for me and I felt like I could have at anytime just gone retarded... Then taking a trip like I did Wednesday, for like four to five days of rebeling... Stubburn bitch!
I have never cared about myself or whether I get hurt, for my friends I'll do anything to keep them out of harm... Like when Muff and Bryon came down to visit... I couldn't let them get in trouble, yes I know I play the hero a lot... I've always tried to help those whether death came to me or not.... Some people have seen me in action, others hear it, and more don't believe in me... I will never care about myself... susicide will always be there, it's everyones option we just choose to play along those lines.
No one knows why my pills went missing do they? Why they were taken in the first place...
At court for the 15th, I'll plea my case, tell them where I plan on going, what grade point average I have... Everything that will drop the case for a first affense student... after that I can only pray what happens to the others... Here I would play the hero and try to help but you can't save people who don't want to be saved... I can't save Muff, it's about where to cross the line... I may do it anyways just as a reflex... him being a close friend for so long... not letting go of someone when they believe other wise... when lanier broke up with I didn't believe it... I acted as if it didn't happen... people say some weird things, like playing tellie phone with life... it will never come out they way they said it the first time unless recorded... never... I promise that...
I must go and balance my life in privite...